Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Steps to take while smoking a cigar.
· Get a cigar first
a. Don't go to shops you know.
b. Don't nick from people who keep count.
· Find a lonely but comfortable place.
· Don't forget to carry a lighter.
· Don't take the first drag too deep.
· You might cough. Relax.
· Don't do fancy stuff at first.
· After doing it, dispose evidence, go back to your life, and don't tell anyone.
Well. This was the general plan. I suck at plans.
The first step was the easiest.
Dad smokes and its easy to nick from him. I was running around in morning chores when i saw an abandoned cigar and decided that its time i smoked one.
So i took it, grabbed a matchbox, ( where is the sophisticated lighter when i need o
ne!) and took off to my parents' room. Open doors. Well, i was lazy to climb to my room. I just came down. And my parents know i am crazy.
I sat down in peace, lighted it. Took a shallow drag.
How Did it Went:
·Its not so awesome. Its not an instant high(like pot, which i have not tried, yet ;) ), its not tasty like wine( which i love), its not comforting as food. Actually i don't know why people smoke. I will get to it later.
·Watching smoke coming out of your nose is cool. I saw it in mirror, and promptly started laughing like a hyena. Doubted for a sec if it was indeed pot.
·It burns you somewhere in pharynx. Intense and not in a good way. Made me think of smoke inhalations. Well, i was inhaling willingly, cant complain.
·I did not cough. If its my very unshakable lungs or careful maneuvering, i don't know. I like to think its the former.
·I was thinking, i am so going to blog about this, and then was not paying much attention to the butt in my hand, except occasional drags. so it stopped burring around the last 1/3rd. I didn't bothered to light it a second time.
I am probably going to sound like a very prude person or a very unadventurous one, but i think i am never going to smoke again. Its not because of the health risks. I am obese, if i had any thoughts on health, i won't be.
Its just, I didn't get why people smoke. Like i said, no high, no pleasure, no comfort! Just burning in nose and the smell of smoke. I guess its them boring people who just do it for the sake of doing something gets stuck with it as a habit. I am too lazy for habits.
So i classify it as a waste endeavour and is going to move on with poise.
After i disposed the butt, i waltzed into kitchen and announced, " Well, i didn't think i was going to do that!"
Me: I am not telling.
Mom: *Skeptical look*
Me: phew *blowing at mom's face*
Mom: You smoked???!!!
Me: Yeah, i tried.
Mom: Krishna!( thats not my name, its the god's name, clearly in vain) What is with you kid??
Me: I just smoked, i am not going to again, because its awful! Isn't that great news? Blah blah blah( this constitutes of all the things in said earlier)...
Me: Dad, it burns behind nose when smoking! WHy you even do that!!
Dad: Well, for beginners it might. Not for me anymore!
Dad: You smoked?
Me: Yeah. Its awful.
Note to my future kids:
If you are reading this, i want to tell you a few things.
1. Notice that i didn't smoked till i was almost 28. I will give you one year lax. If i caught you with a cig before 27, i am going to be really angry.
2. I did it once, so if i caught you twice, you have an entire different thing coming. I dont care if you are a biker chick or a scientific reasercher on the advantages of smoking.
3. You can not use this as a leverage against me. Well, not more than once.
So what's next?
Wouldn't you like to know. :P
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Monday, December 06, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Monday, November 08, 2010
Saturday, November 06, 2010
NB: On a completely different note, i love this series on Star World, Lie to me.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
Having said that, i am not a HOG. And being a mallu means you are supposed to bath 3 times a day and proclaim all non-mallus dirty. I manage the second part. :P
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-Lord Alfred Tennyson
Friday, October 29, 2010
Before the list begins, i have to tell you a few things.
Things More Important Than the BF/the husband/the male entity in life.
- The Pride: This is what is more important than anything else. You cant bullshit a woman and remain in her good grades. Give Respect and earn it back.
- The family: It might sound a bit clichéd, but is true. A woman might be independent, she might occasionally cuss those who are related to her, but, remember, Blood is always thicker than water. We don't like you when you point fingers. That's our job.
- The Views: A woman has certain views she is adherent on. Don't try to change them. Change yourself. This is one that makes a girl different from a woman. You can mould a girl. Not a woman.
- The GFs: Yes, the girlfriends are important. They have been there since the start of time. And they are not going anywhere. We might not hangout like we used to, bu they are there and you better love them. And we don't love you more, we just love you different.
- The gadgets: This concerns the tech savvy girls. We love our gadgets. Don't try to take them away. Don't ridicule them. Don't ridicule us. We most definitely know more that you do. Anyways, we are always open for more.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 09, 2010
To: Yours truly
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receipt by sending your
From:Princess Priscal Kiki
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Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. My father was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth.
My father left the sum of USD $4.5 Million (four million,five hundred thousand US Dollars)in a security company .This money was annually paid into my late fathers account by NNPC and SHELL companies operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction.
I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.
Now,i urgently need your humble assistance to help me move this money from the security company to your country, That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact because I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.
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Please, note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction as quick as possible.You can contact me in my private email: email@example.com
PRINCESS Priscal Kiki
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
I need to figure out a way to do blogging from Elmo. But activating airtel MMS in the phone is no good idea as i latches on to net and download all my junk mails. Sheesh.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
So, I read the excerpt of Marley and me earlier and found that a bit meh. Dog and couple, usual fun, blah blah blah. And I decided I am not watching that. Big mistake. If someone comes to flick me for that, i'll gladly place my head in any position you might want me to. So what I was telling was, I missed one of the best pet movies ever made over a rash decision. And today, I was bored and looking for something on tv and I happened upon Marley and me. It had started a few minutes ago, but I decided i'll see it anyhow.
First I thought this too would be one of those film in which the dog talks in gruff voices, acts goofy and saves some ass. You know, the kind of dogs we never have. The ones we have are adorable at times, trying otherwise, disobeying, too hungry and always climbing on body when you wear a new dress. Exactly like marlay. I laughed a lot. Remembered my old dogs, and Rocky, and cried a whole lot towards the end. Its terrible when your dog passes away. Been there. I wont wish that on anyone. Especially because no one gets why you are sad and crying so much. They go like- "Dog died?Thats sad. But why dont you get a new one?". No one gets it.
The whole movie was about a normal(he might seem crazy, but all my dogs were exact same) dog through the eyes of a normal dog owner. The film touches you somewhere deep. The same place that makes you cover the dog's tablets in jam and buys him chocolate when you are at the supermarket counter.
After credit roll, I regretted ever raising my voice at rocky and resisting his ploys to get me to play with him. All I wanted to do was go out, find him and give him a fierce hug and chase him when he runs around with my chappal. Motivated, I found him chewing on a new bone at the backyard. I went and nudged him and said 'hey Rock!'. My dog looked at me, in anger, fiercely protective of his bone(like i am gonna at it), and says 'Grrr..'.
Yeah. Thats about all the dog love I can get until that bone is history. :p
Friday, September 24, 2010
Off all of them, Barney was always my guy. The womaniser. His magnanimous quotes and cute similis, I could always relate to him. The most depraved but yet the most child at heart. I am that in my gang. Though compared to the lion that is Barney am like this rat. A lab one at that.
Oh, am going off track here. So back to Mosby. I didnt liked the guy much. He is just a minor loser. Yeah. Concentrate on that word. LOSER.
Now imagine my dismay when I realised my life, mostly and sadly is like his.
This so going to be a sorrow train ride. Step out if you dont want the tea in my pity party.
I was watching the show in tv, season four, episode second last or third, I guess. Ted lost his job. He dont have any. Well, nice. I'll see him at this club of ours, for the unemployed super awesome freaks. He is trying self employment and working from home. Like me too. Yay! Without any success too. Yeah.
Then there is the romantic side of the guy. He waits for this amazing thing to sweep in and make him feel complete. Get in the damn line. And also he doesn't know what he is looking for, and is according to me, really lazy. Pretty lame that line is, eh?
Well, there is the fact that he lives in new-freakin-york and me in a place only some in tax department knows.
Anyway in major fronts, i've been been as lame and unmotivated as ted has been, in dealing with the clusterfuck that is also my life. But I know Ted's life will get better soon. He'll meet the Mother, have kids with her (meh) and live in this beautiful home. I only hope mine gets half as good. :-)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 09, 2010
So, in yesterday and today, I watched two of her latest films, thought i'd do a review of those. Since two films have collected enough sledge to sink the Titanic without the iceberg, I thought i'd do it in points. You know, to appear less boring.
I HATE LUV STORYS
1. I am going to start on how ridiculous the title is. Everyone has done it before me, but my blog, my say. I hate when people say LUV. Its definitely not a cute version of love.
2. Imran Khan. I hate his mamu, but I do like mamu's acting. The nephew can act as good as a skate board. And Arjun Rampal. Casting a cat would've made the pairing cuter.
3. The plot of this is film is like the grand canyon. The gaps are huge. But unlike the canyon, not so awesome.
4. I dont know his name, but the cute dude from sprite ad was wonderful :D. Even his dialogues were awesome. And to make a point, the hot-crazy graph is Barney's. But almost everything in the film is a copy, so, meh.
5. I thought the whole idea of love story in the background of film industry would be awesome, but they ruined it with too much cliche. Can there be too much cliche? Yes, this film is the answer to that question. Way too much to go down in two hours. So, comes straight back up. Sounds awful na? It was.
6. Music - really good. My taste.
1. Chicflick. You can never have too much of chicflick.
2. Looks like Emma, feels like Emma. And what not to like about Emma? Except that you've seen it before. Loved it!
3. Abhay Deol. I love this guy. If there is a Jane Austen hero material (subtle, strong and silent) amongst current bolly-boys, its him.
4. Casting of this film should get a whole new award. Kya kamal kiya hai. Everyone is good in the character's shoes. Even the new ones.)
5. Loved the climax. The director could've made it tacky, I thought it was going to be almost tacky, but it is really nice. After the I Hate Luv Storys tack overdose, I needed this film.
6. Its a lovable film. Its chicflick, its emma, its a happily ever after, but we admire so many western romcoms, is this much worse?
That brings an end to my blab. But I didnt talked about Sonam. Loved her in Aisha. Charismatic, classy and in character. About her role in I hate I hate luv storys(that was not a typo), no actor is better than the script, so, its as good as the whole thing. Tad better, since am a fan.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
- Am going at this in bullet points because i think it will look in order and that would be the only thing orderly in my whole frikking life now. Its a terrible mess which got rundown by a train. Or looks like it.
- Onam was nice as usual, Family and Food. Two things i like and is not good for me. I discovered that cooking criticisms really really hurt me. And i swear it was not THAT bad. :|
- Did i mentioned i am jobless now? Sigh. I feel awful about you, who is reading all this crap and is feeling awful about me. But yes, unemployed. It really does suck.
- I am reading some Gay romance novels now, which i tell you, is rather nice too. Except the steam scenes, which i can live without. Does reading it makes me Queer-ish? I swear if were a man, i would be gay. Since i find men rather interesting and not women(even if those men are doing things to each other) i think i do come under the straight group. The majority. How boring!
- So, why in pop culture Gay men are depicted hunky, in fashion, nice and chatty and Lesbians are depicted aggressive, negative and rather bitchy? Why why why?
- I, along with my best friend Rudeboy, think that i am really partial to gay men. This would be explained by my love for Neil Patrick Harris, Chris Colfer and Matt Bomer. This also means i watch too much TV and read too much gossips.
- I really hope this post does not turn out to be one on my sexual orientation. Which i am not sure yet ;)
- All things aside i think i am drunk. A teeny bit. This will excuse anything i might have said.
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Whoa! Why am I getting philosophic all of a sudden? Is age catching up with you favourite smalltown being? Na! I am just playing with you.
But what I was saying, there are time periods to certain relations. After a time it should be cut down. Even though there are no sour grapes. Even though you still like this person and he/she obviously cares about you a lot. There are certain junctures where you have to stop it and move on.
This is about someone I used to like a lot. I still do. One of my favourite people online. Always helping and always there with a hi. But you know, things always dont stop at great friendship. Sometimes you jump into relationships without thinking. Knowing thats its for fun. No future. No commitment. When time comes, one person move on. No hard feelings. And you are majorly lucky if you are that one person. Moving on one. If you are the other, its still ok, you dont care much. But it still stings somewhere. I dont want anything. I dont want old days back. But seeing someone happy and all when you are no where? It sucks. If I am bitchy for saying that aloud, so I am.
So, bye dear one, you struck a beautiful cord in my symphony.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
So, coming to music, really truly we have the best music opportunity in india.
1. Bollywood music
2. Kollywood music ie the tamil one.
3. Malayalam music.
[i am not counting the big english rock/metal/country/pop list. Its universal.]
So, my point being, these are the industries that produce the best and most original music in india, especially hindi and tamil. Hindi is not so original but its diverse and really unavoidable. Since language is the biggest barrier in india, not everyone can enjoy these three. (And the person who said music has no language didnt have cared much about lyrics)
Continuing, hindi being a central indian language and the national one, those who speaks it gives bull about the southies and know nothing about it, thus making them very ignorant of the potent, soul stirring, best songs that ever originate in india. [added note- what ever anyone says, a.r.rehman's best music is and will always be in tamil. Because that language is really suited for lyrics.]
So how this makes us mallus special? Tamils also share the national language, so they get there two! Hai na? No. Tamils being more egotistical about their language dont give a fuck about hindi. They dont teach it at primary levels and they dont even show hindi films all over the state. Thus making majority of tamils not privy to the good old and new copied-from-all-over hindi songs.
And here comes the mallu superpeople. We get our basic hindi education. So, even when our language sucks(RudeBoy) we know enough to love the songs. And since tamil is closely related to malayalam, we know all we wanna know (and more) and they release every film here too. So yay mallus!
So what separates us from kannadigas? Who comes good in above criterias. That would be mallu film music. Which, if not great, is really original and follows traditional music and is mostly melody and some experimentations. And we all know kannada film industry is a big nonexistance. Thats all your honor, effectively proving the title statement.
Famous last words- MALLUS ROCK!! Yay!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Yesterday I was watching a music channel show where people had difficulty telling who scored the maximum worldcup goals, and which country did Messi belonged to. Someone should come here and ask that to five year olds, and girls, and grandmas. There is average hulchal for premiere league and euro cup like tourneys, there is roony and beckham fans. There is local clubs which play seven's (which I am not sure is approved by fifa) in which players from africa comes to play. Yup. I see african guys walk in streets all the time and they look homely.
And then comes worldcup. And its like a festival, which is going on here. There are posters and banners, of course, of every team, of course, EVERYWHERE. When I say everywhere, I mean it. At every nook, every junction, every turn, on bus' and autos, cars and bikes have ribbons of team colours hanging on them, houses gets painted in blue and white, and yellow and green, theatres show matches live, and then there are the bets.
Oh there are the bets. From haircuts and facial hair removal to big money and gadgets. I've seen guy with ronaldo's hair cut. Brazil's ronaldo. Oh yes, worst haircut ever! If that does not prove my point I dont know what will.
The speculations, match analysis.. Dunga and maradona writes for a regional daily. Together. I dont know another place they are likely to coexist.
Of course everyone watches the games, every single one too.
Since the majority supports brazil and argentina, brazil's lose and subsequent exit was received with mixed reactions. But the next day, when argentina lost, there were fireworks, processions, guys dancing on streets, angry revolts...
This is pretty much the tale of whole malabar, mostly whole kerala.
Till the festival lasts, there will be emotions, late nights, colourful ribbons, wagers, excitement...
Till then.. Its the football times :-)
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Anyway, I finished all the books in record time, from 1-6, not in the right order(1,3,6,2,4,5) since the deathly hallows was not released then. By then I was obsessed. I reread all the books, saw the movies, and hated them :p I tell ya, only diehard potter fans can hate the films. They are as such wonderful entertainments, but you wont be satisfied, as in your mind, the full potter universal is so much bigger. I even read quiddich though the ages. Well, partly anyway.
By then I was becoming an online person. I joined many orkut communities, moderated a few, became known in some circles as a faithful pottermaniac. There were forums, discussions, fanfictions [amongst them were some really nice ones and really twisty weird psycho ones (Seriously, Harry and Draco? You gotta be shitting me!)]