Tuesday, February 22, 2011


My neighbor Niranjan (who refers to himself as Ninju) is rather talkative these days. Well, whats new in that? He is 2. And he was not talking until recently. This was a worry to everyone in his home. but Happys Endings, he is talking, and is not stopping.
As a person who is perfectly friendly to kids when they are not whining or eating, me and Ninju get along well. Its nice that finally we can make sense of whats coming out of his mouth.
His favorite word is "Bye", or rather "BAAAAAI"!!, as he says it. And latest is Whatsthaaat? Or "Athenda?" in malayalam. And its pretty much all he says these days.
I was returning from work and while passing near their house, was really charmed to hear him praying.

Ninju's mom: Om Nama Shivaya.
Ninju: Oon nasshivava..
Ninju's Mom: Om Namo Narayanaya..
Ninju: Oon nao nanananana..
Ninju's Mom: Om Sree Durge Nama..
Ninju: Athenda??


Saturday, February 19, 2011

When Life Deals You a Lemon, You Need to Know What It Means

The kitchen tap was left open and the sink overflowed. Mom was looking at it despairingly.
Me, the Sunshine girl, took over the matter.

Me: Amma, dont worry. Lets take this chance and clean the floor, its already soaked. Haven't you heard the expression "If life deals you lemons make lemonade"??
Mom: No.
Me: Well, life gives you a lemon, you can make a sourface or a sweet lemonade. Its how you look at it.
Mom: Ah. So what if I don't like lemonade?
Me: Its a proverb!!
Mom: Ooh! OK.

After five minutes.
Mom: Diabetic people really don't like lemonade, you know?
Me: MAA!!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Award with the Homework

There are awards.
Then there are awards that come with homework.
Today, Purple Moonbeam gave me just that.

The award is:

The homework is,

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them in your post.
2. Tell us seven things about yourself.
3. Award 7 recently discovered new bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know they've received the award.

1. I thank Purple Moonbeam for thinking me worthy and versatile enough to present me with it! Linking back - Done!

2. Glad to tell you about myself at the end of the this. It is, after all, my favorite topic of discussion. Me.

3. Award other bloggers? No. I give awards at the end of the year, and i promise i will hold a special place for this one. And, as a penance, i do another, not so boring list. :)

4. Irrelevant because of 3.

7 Things about Me
Since i have already done 25 facts about me twice, here and here, this is going to be really nonsense.

  1. I love to watch fairytale movies. The Disney princesses. It is very immature, my dad says. But i don't mind. My favorite is, of course, the Beauty and the Beast, and my least favorite is Aladdin.
  2. I want to write a novel. That is not a big unknown fact about me. Every blogger whats to do it. There are days when i feel like i can. And then when i start, I am plagued by insecurities and i drop the project. How depressing.
  3. My most favorite TV hunks are Neil Patrick Harris, Luke Macfarlane and Matt Bomer. You know the common factor? They are all gay men. And i didn't knew this when i started watching their shows. That's the third thing. I have an uncanny ability to pick gay men to love. Just my luck.
  4. I have had frog meat once in my life. Its the bizarrest food i have ever had.
  5. I don't like the smell of jasmine. It gives my headaches. But gardenia! It was my favorite smell since childhood where there was a Gardenia bush near my then home.
  6. I google for everything. The strangest thing i have googled is "how to kill myself painlessly". Honestly. I was engaged and i was depressed.
  7. And that is the biggest reveal about me. I was engaged last year. For about 2 months. It was the worst time in my entire life. I was not myself for the entire time and the day it ended, i was the happiest. And to add, that thing put me off of marriage for ever. Not my thing.
Now the Penance listing.
Since the last list was rather depressing to lame, i am doing an Essential list.

5 Must have things on a long trip for me:
  1. My phone: I take it everywhere. I mean, everywhere. Yes, that too.
  2. A moisturizer: dry skin is not so pretty. Especially when it ex-foliate.
  3. Earphones: Can't travel without music. No no!!
  4. Dart: the tablet i meant. I can't tolerate headaches. :-/
  5. A notebook: I have the randomest urges to write. So i always keep with a notebook. Cute, little one. The day someone steals it, i am so dead.
That's all for tonight. Adieu my lovelies!! Ah, what i shall do without you!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Murder on the Lovers' day

Since i am not and is not going to be "in love" with anyone for an unseeable future, i can, in leisure, plan murders on the most romantic and most hyped day on the planet.

5. Saint Valentine: The legend of this dude is that he was imprisoned by some king in Roma and then while in jail, he performed wedding ceremonies which the king opposed cuz this meant less single soldiers. Makes any sense? Not to me too. So what was he? Marriage broker? If the awesome king Claudius hadn't killed him once, i would have, considering the amount of crap we have to endure from new year the 14th feb. And the pressure. And the mayhem. The only good thing was that they showed rom-coms on tv and this year, damn it, they are showing twilight saga 1 and 2. I mean, Come on!

4. Stephanie Mayer: For ruining my perfect movie day. Seriously, vampire and werewolf. Tasty girl meat. Monster pregnancy. The only thing this thing lacks is aliens and flying monkeys. Would have loves to see ET saying "Bella go home".

3. People who send kisses and hugs via sms on the day: If you dont have anyone to send these to, shut your trap. Sending every single one in your contact list the sms is desperate and rather pathetic.

2. Archies: Archie man ( here i am imagining an old geezer, as no one that rich for that long is cute or funny) why do you have to go on and make so fab cards? And while you were at it, why didn't you made some sent-to-self cards? Another thing, what is with all the confetti and red colored hangings?? I feel colour blind.

1. The only person that seriously irritates me and gives me creeps: You loser. Stop stalking me. Stop reading my blog. Stop sending me FB friends requests and stop mailing me anything. I don't care and i have never cared. If you still haven't figured out things, i honestly pity you. Get a life. And do not try to contact me ever again.


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Khandaani Baatein

You know, i never write much about the family. So i thought I'll remedy that today.
More than that, mom went over to my uncle's to see her mom, so i am missing her so so much. All the times when we are together, we are cross with each other. She doesn't like my laid back attitude, my state of singledom and you name it, she hates it. Sometimes i wonder if she ever loved me. But then there are times like this, where i miss her and wish that she was here, if only to scold me. And since she is gone, house work falls on the shoulders of moi, which is terrible. :P
I hate our mixer grinder. I am almost sure that it has a thing for me. Bad thing.
One of the first tips of kitchen the mixer taught me was never to grind anything hot. It was a very painful lesson.
The thing is, when ever i go to grind coconut, which is often if you are a keralite, the second i turn the key, the coconut start flying all over the place. I personally have no problem with flying coconut grind, but i hate cleaning.
In our house, there is two decks of cards. We play often, mostly rummy and recently poker too. I made the chips with some cardboard paper and Aqqui(the bro) hates them. He says it doesn't have much panache. Hmmph.
Our dad is a master player. However inebriated he is, i am almost sure that he knows whats in all our hands.
Mom plays for fun. She never leaves a game, even though her hand is hopeless.
I am an exceptional shuffler, which amazes most people. Even though i am well versed at cards, they hate me. Or why would they conspire to form unimaginative pairings en-route to me?
Then there is Aqqui. The black sheep. For long my parents were afraid to teach him this, for the fear of corrupting him. Then when they became sure that he is as boring as a sack of potatoes, they taught him. His famous rummy comments range from "I have a hand full of royals, with no relation between them," to "J is for Jackie? i thought that was Joker."
But he has exceptional luck and he remains the only one to have a hand-rummy on the house, which he proceeded to present while downing the 13th card. Get it?
But we all owe him serious cash. Which he is never going to get.
The dog is gay, i think. One day, someone brought a bitch in heat to do the nasty and Rocky almost killed her. He started barking like he saw the ghost and after an attempted attack, the owner took her to some other guy in need.
I think we should try bringing home a man-dog. What you think?
Mom makes this gorgeous mango pickles.
Great huh?
Too bad, none of us like mango pickles.
My friends, my brother's friends, neighbors... everyone go gaga over it and we are like 'meh' and this pisses her off.
And the next year, she makes more pickles.
My uncle is craaazy.
There are cases of mental illness in dad's family, which mom points out every time they argue. But uncle is mom's brother, and a very prominent doctor too. And i think dad should point to him some time. The guy has some serious issues behaviorally.
He once said my brother needed a better dressing. My brother. Who wont wear gold if it was not branded. :-/
He once smacked me on the shoulder at a wedding. Hard.
I smacked him right back.
It was painful!
May be i shouldn't criticize him much. What say?
My Grandma is weird. And almost 90.
Mom recently teased her, saying 'may be you should marry'.
Grandma said, 'Yeah, i can talk to and listen to someone."
She cant hear if a bomb went off near her ear.

If you read it so far, i applaud you.
I know it has been a boring post.
But i miss mom and the whole managing home thing is driving me crazy.
I am never getting married. Ever.
Need to sleep now if i want to wake up and finish work at a decent hour.

Friday, February 11, 2011

What Lasts Forever

I have been watching Brothers and Sisters from ABC these days. A lot. Yeah, its a soap opera, and i should be thinking of spending my time more worthily.. Yada yada.. I know! Lets just say Luke Macfarlane is one awesome piece of ass. Literally.
But we are here today for a bit more serious talk. I was watching this show and i came across this beautiful piece of dialogue. Read it. You'll love it, i promise.

Situation: Kitty is trying to get pregnant but is failing at it and she is not considering adoption that her husband is suggesting. She is discussing this with her elder sister.

Kitty: Do you remember the time that you came to New York and I took you out for Indian food?
Sarah: How could I forget? Seven months pregnant(with Cooper). It was hotter than hell, the worst heartburn of my life.
Kitty: I remember touching your stomach when we went back to my apartment and Cooper was practically doing somersaults and I just thought how…weird. And how beautiful. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on. I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop wanting that.
Sarah: Kitty, you remember the somersaults. I remember the heartburn. You know what Cooper remembers? Nothing. There are no guarantees. In the end, the only thing that matters is that there's a child. And that lasts forever.

I am writing this in the context that i have many friends who are trying to be parents and are failing due to various reasons. Many of them are under treatments and monitoring and what-not for this. And none of them are considering adoption as an option.
Procreation is one of the biggest business in India. The hospitals overflowing with couples giving birth to fourth and fifth and more times on one side and on the other side is couples trying to get pregnant, in every way possible, with every latest technology in the field. Everyone who has been married for a few months are asked by every random people they meet about the state of their progeny. So i get the pressure behind trying to get pregnant and then when you fail, rushing to a hospital do every possible checkups and then doing everything possible to conceive. Spending a lot of money so that you can also feel the joy of loving a child and having loved in return.
But on the other hand, this is also the country with the most number of orphans in streets and government institutes. Its also one with high rates of infanticide. Every day we read stories of children being found in dumpsters and roadsides. We read it and pass it off with an exclamatory curse at the mother who did that. And we never think about that child again. Even though you have a power to give him or her a life. Even though you need him or her as much as they need you.
So, if you are a couple trying to be parents and is desperately knocking every door for that, consider adoption as an option. I can understand your need to procreate something that is your flesh and blood. But in the end, does it matter? In the end, there will be a child, whom you loved and brought up and who loves you as much right back. And that's what lasts forever.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Lady of the Ring

You remember me saying something about my LOTR movie marathon at new year's? Wait, that was in twitter. It went something like this.
And i did watch that. Awesome series, though a bit gay(which is a whole different discussion). I was absolutely charmed by the movies and hobbits.
Soon after that i faced an accessory malfunction. I changed my neck chain to a thinner one, compared to the almost-rap-dude one i was wearing before. I didn't had any locket to go with it, a simple and trendy one i was planning on.
Then, like in all adverse conditions, i thought of an idea.
Mom's ring. My chain.
Idea totally lifted of Mr. Frodo.
How do you like it?