Sunday, August 31, 2008
so dear readers, pray for me. and please pray for my dad.love you all and thank you.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Dear friends... I got a job!!! Well, it’s not my first, yet.
The first was a small job near home, with minimal payment, which i resigned for a better job in a big town. The second one, the one for which I dropped the 1st one, was a posh one, albeit tough, but the problem started when i was told that a bond kinda thing was required of me. i wrote about it all in here. I totally flipped off and resigned and came back home. Then i was sitting home idly 6 days a week and doing a training course for my post grad on Sundays. But life is really tough when you are broke. How supportive your parents may be(they are paying for the course!), you will feel like shit when you have to get money from them for things like phone recharges or cosmetics. So i really wanted to have a job.
Let me also tell about two of my friends here. The first one is H, she is a very beautiful girl with very good heart and a little bit crooked brain(weired combination. i know!). We were friends from my 1st day at college. Even before me, she got a job at a pioneer institution. She joined and just because she was junior, she was loaded with work and then it got out of hand when she didn’t even had time for lunch, so, exactly after 1 week, she resigned and came back home. Then there is Di, she resigned her job last week (yey!! I so wanted her to drop it and do MD!). So there is 3 of us, resigning soon after joining, it was quite embarrassing. Even our moms make fun of each of us.
Then through a friend of mine (he is a friend I got through ORKUT and now I call this friend my MONSTER [.INC] as he is my consultant in professional matters), was offered this job at this beach resort. I was asked if I have any other friend who was interested in the job, so I asked H and she said yes.(Di lives far away and won’t be interested in a job that will take her away from home and her fiancé when her wedding is scheduled in October.)
We both start there this Sunday!! So we are super excited about it and we both hope we would not run back home a second time. I only saw the resort once, its super beautiful, has a beautiful beach, (me and H are both beach freaks, I more so) also has many cottages and palm trees and garden....it looks really divine. We both joined as consulting physicians, so work id moderate, so I hope we have time and energy to study. And i hope we have enough cute foreign guys to ogle at.
I will write about the resort and my life there later, and I will upload some pictures too...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
10 Hollywood Hunks With Whom I Would Love To Get Stranded On A Lonely Island. (Now thats something am gonna dedicate my brain space for)
Non Hollywood guys- Rafael Nadal (that boy is a cool customer.), Brett lee( You know i luuurrrvee you right?), Prince William(he looks a ninny as he ages, yet.), many Desi cricketers esp Irfan Pathan, Yuvi etc, Shoaib Akthar(Anyone feels he is romantic?no?whats wrong with me?), Tiger Woods,Barak Obama..... I should try making a separate list!
And those who very nearly made it- Mark Ruffalo(i really love you, but not on the stranded-in-beach way, just coffee-and-conversations way), Ashton Kutcher(Fan since that 70s show,but not enough it seems), Matt Damon(good, not hot enough.), Johnny Depp (kill me! WHY he is not on the damn list?), Jack Black, Joaquin Phoenix, Jude Law, Tophar Grace, Billy Crystal(yeah i know,he is funny and i just like him.), Brendon Fehr(I was a sucker for roswell), Rupert Grint(in school, i hear), Chris Pine( you are hands down the 11th guy),Vince Vaughn, Gerard Butler.....aaaahhhh....*pulls what-all-hair-that-remains-on-skull in frustration* i should have made a 25 persons list. Sorry boys, this was a tight one.
So, here is the LIST. Not in Chronological order.
1.James Mcavoy - Blue eyes, cute yet naughty smile, sincere looks and above all, a secret corner in a library in atonement. (That was ONE hot scene.Right?)
2.Orlando Bloom- Do I need to explain? Am having severe problems in concentration. Where was I? Yeah Bloom..that Man is SMOKING HOT!
[What is the thing with English men that just do ME in?]
3.James Franco- Ah.. Tristan. He would always be Tristan to me. When he smiles, your world brightens and when he looks hurt, all you wanna do is take the pain away from those eyes.
4.Will Smith- Well, the person who defines words like "hunk" and "sexy" for me. Wouldn't it be a joy just watching him stride bare chest??
(Something wrong with my AC??Heat going way up..)
5. Hayden Christensen- One name- Anakin Skywalker. Evil has never looked this good. And then there is the boyish charm and oh-so-kissable lips.
6.Carmine Giovinazzo- Isn't he the cutest thing you ever find in a Crime Scene? This guy showed me Glasses look cool on Men.(And not just in the big-brother way.)
7.Hugh Grant- The lazy, i-don't-care attitude is kinda cool. Right guys? And Bridget Jones. And Notting Hill. The naughty and the romantic.
8.Antonio Banderas - Explanations anyone?
9.Hugh Jackman- Only he can look fierce yet full of love at the same time. Wolverine is one of my all time favorite heroes. and have you ever seen him with his kids? He looks super hot dad. And I have a thing for ahem..big boys.
10.Toby MaGuire- He looks intelligent. So he may find us a way out if necessary. Now the real reason. Anyone remember the kiss in the first spidey movie??
PS: If HEATH LEDGER was alive, i would have made this a chronological list, and HEATH would have 1st 2nd and 3rd position. I among others miss u. Love.
PPS:anyone from Bollywood?? no.... i suppose.
SRK for being in big bro category
Akshey for being what he is-terrible skirt chaser
Saif- egoistic PIG
Ajay- Ajay who??
John- looks cant make a hunk.he is henpecked!
Sanjay- am never into ancient guys,however hot they may be(and anyone noticed that women in his life die tragic deaths?It is a real turn off.)
Shreyas Talpade- which class beta?
Fardeen, Zayed- who cares?
Only people from bollywood i would even consider will be RAKHI SAWANT and MALLIKA SHERAWAT.Not that i am lesbo, But these women are excellent company with a taste in comedy and adventure.
Monday, August 25, 2008
I met my best friend and soul sister, Di, when i was 19 years old. The ride was bumpy, but we were together in it, so it was perfect! It was a legendary friendship. Everyone at college who saw one of us alone asked 'where is the other half' or 'where is your tail'. And once during our farewell party at hostel, they conducted a game to test friendship. Among other questions, everyone was asked to write a model friendship, and we didn't knew whom to write. Every other gamers wrote our name and got points, while we didn't. We lost the game. (I will just say that the best copy cats in the batch were among us.)
Its not like we were compatible in any ways. Di was a brilliant girl who was the highest rank holder in CET to opt our college. And i was one of the last who crawled in by mere luck. She was semi introvert, pessimist, anti social and very negative, while i had a permanent cheering charm stuck up my arse. I loved gangs and all the karizma associated with it, she resented them. I craved limelight and she hated it. She was an organized person and me?? don't even ask. I was an emotional drama queen, while she was, not as bad. The list is big.
There were common things too. Cricket, movies a love for Ganguly, and a soul to soul connection. So I got out of my gang and dropped my over enthusiasm to shine, and we became best of friends. One for two, Two for one. (i always wanted to lift that line from musketeers.)
The whole thing about "the two shoes deal" is that we both wanted different things out of life. I wanted to fall in love, have a family, and everything comes with that package. I hated studies, so i wanted a straight out of college job and sweating for higher studies wasn't my cup of coffee. Di fancied herself to be a loner, and desperately wanted to do MD and go up further in career.
Everything was going according to our plan at college, i was trying to get passed and she tried for a rank, I repeatedly tried the love-thing, she stayed single with a vengeance. and then, in the final term, she fell in love. (An old flame, loved from afar at school, chanced meeting over phone after 5 years, chat-chat-chat, and there it is, LOVE![ I would say LUST. But thats just me, the inside reporter!]) Was i disappointed? No, i wanted her to fall in love because I was always afraid that she would never do so. Was i sad? Yeah. I felt lonely and wretched. And then came final results. i was happy about the normalcy it brought in life - me towards bottom, and she 5th rank.
Then the twist in the tale starts. Her parents and his parents wanted a quick wedding. (Dont ask me why, parents here are another thing. At least when its a love match we would hope that we can decide when we want it 'consummated', right? Here, Nay.) In the meantime I, all thanks to the over friendly adipocytes and a strong will not to work out, stayed fat and single. I tried for work and found out only higher education can give you respect at work (and big bucks too comes free with it). So, I decided to pursue higher studies. And Di, she cant start a coaching for it, as she may not be able to complete it. She cant afford to stay home and study as they both are young and our hero is not exactly a Bill Gates material and they both have an anvil sized pride.
So now its me, who dreaded every test n exams and everything related to studying tries her arse off for the entrance test, and Di, who started talking about PG and scared us to death when we were doing Under Graduation is doing under payed, over loaded clinical works. My friend is resentful to life these days, sad and depressed. A brilliant mind getting wasted away. And my brain, which belonged happily in the dust bin is getting forcefully polished. We wonder about the ironical ways our life has turned its heels. I want her to be what she wanted always. Be an academician, and excel at it. When ever I say this, she gets depressed.
Its like the tide is taking us to places we never wanted to see.
I hope that the tide would pass soon, and coast will clear. We both would reach our destinations.
And we would be Friends.In every tides life brings.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
It doesn't look good, it tastes like shit and to top it all, its so healthy and readily AVAILABLE, I have to eat it. Yeah. Just what i needed!
Mom's reaction? She looks at them like she looked at me when i won the Freedom Quiz once when i was in 4th standard!! And she also sprouts crazy ideas like taking photos and sending it to local papers! (Believe me, its huge. And scary! ) I wanted to put a picture of the whole thing in here, but i seriously think the ministry of forestry, if saw it, will take our land away!!
PS: Any one needing a tropical rain forest shooting location is perfectly welcome!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Hei, anybody watching MTV Splitsvilla? I was in after shocks from the idiotic show what they called MTV roadies 5.0 when this one started.( I mean, I really liked Roadies 4. There the boyz were capable of doing something, and chicks had brains and beauty and knew how to use both! Where as in Rodies 5.0, boys were absolutely incapable, and girls, ah..IDIOTIC BITCHES!! Yet i watched it dutifully, and the finale proved what sort of jack asses they all wer. )
Then, after roadies, i was having this free time at saturdays 7pm,( as my family have given over that time to me due to oh-poor-girl dramas) so i started watching Splitsvilla. The show was really hyped and had too much ad publicity in the begining. i mean, who wouldnt listen if told "20 girls, 2 boys in a villa"(sounds like a 3rd class horror/sex movie right?)?
Well, so i started watching it and i hated it in the begining. As Raghu said it, it was a sexist show. I mean, am not a feminist, but ladies, don’t you have some respect for yourself? Would you jump up and down naked around egoistic big-head-boys who doesn’t even look at you, if you were to be given 5 lakhs in cash and a ticket to fame? Apparently they all were ready for it. What a bunch of idiots! And a fine example to nex gen!! I was really enraged for showing this piece of sadistic-male-chauvinism on national television.
Then intervened the devil himself, Raghu, (anyone thinks he looks like thee devil in Onida ad??) who made the show. He redefined it and so, made it more bearable. He created some competition between boys and gave the winning girl the power to choose among the boys. Thus they HAD TO behave nicely to every girl around. woohooo... and thus, the show became less about girls’ competition, and more about boys’ and more about war than that was about love.(Well, the icing in the cake was the boys not talking to each other. And men always say girls do the cat fights. Boys, you do bull fights. That is more bloody and worth watching.)
On to the locker room-
Varun is seriously addled in his brains. Insecure, over confident, thinks only of winning, not love. What is he doing in show?
Vishal-cute dimples(raise your hand if u think dimples looks cuter on boys), sensitive, sincere but more on the innocent side, thus a bit boring. So if there were two guys like him and no varun, we would have killed ourselves due to boredom.
I think its the generation. Girls are way smarter and deceptive than boys. I really respect Prianca for staying even though she doesn’t have an ounce of love for anyone else but herself.(and I think 'they' are natural. No jobs done. And fabulous.)
Heena- One word- DUMB. still heavily set on winning. If varun’s crooked-but-not-too-good brain hasn’t favored her, she would have got out before saying splits. I think he favours her coz with anyone else, he would look dumb. This girl actually has the power to make him look brilliant!!And thats saying something.
Shradha- only person there for love .Or the only person with enough brains to make the cat race not obvious. Piano player, looks sensitive, simple and sincere. (Reminds me of eM(thecompulsiveconfessor) somehow. Looks more humane like her.Thats my view only.)
So, the finale is this Saturday.. I hope Shraddha and Vishal wins and to top it with a cherry, varun gets a mouthful from anyone. ANYONE!
My favourites? Bosky and Raghu. Cool and capable. Both. I think they will get along famously!
And Rannvijay…. What a fashion sense.. then also, he would look lovely in anything. Or, out of anything.
Update 23 Aug: Shradha won the whole thing... Yey!!!...Now i hope Vishal too wins
Monday, August 18, 2008
Today, when I was digging into the mess I call my shelf, I came across this old letter pad, one which I selected years back so carefully and excitedly taking hours deciding between two which I liked. It only has 3 or 4 pages now, the rest used up in my compulsive urge to write letters years back. Many of its pages were penned to my legendary pen-pal (I can write a book about him. I plan to write about him. But I so don’t know where to start.).some of them went to my parents and one even went to the Reynolds company, telling them that we all love their pens and their quality is failing ,so please do something (yeah, I was crazy, so were my pals at school.)
Why no one writes letters any more?(if someone is out there, who does , sorry buddy, this excludes you and cheers, keep it up!) Now every one is into texts, emails and IMs. Post is all about business, periodicals and greeting card now. Nothing personal attached. But weren’t letters 'the thing'? The ones you read when you sat alone in rainy afternoons, the ones you accidentally found in a book and look through quickly and smiled, or the stalk of them you keep hidden in a box, received from a very cherished lover. The ones which evoked silly smiles and random laughs and tears of long gone love and unkempt promises. The ones which, when you inspect the handwriting, you see the anger jabs, the string of dots of love and hand drawn smilies. Then there is a whole world of NBs,PSs, endearments, small pieces of tissue papers(which we used to put in inlands as they are super-light and so, undetectable.),the 'read this in a mirror' notes, the crazy nicknames in the from space in cover, the open with a smile note which actually makes you smile…..
Now when I see the things listed, I am getting all sad. I mean, I used to have all these things and I never realized how much I missed it. The email can never bring the nostalgia a letter brings. The faint scent, fading words, the handwriting which makes us feel near to the person with whom it belonged to. The extend of which I once saw in a letter, the two or three words written by a 2 year old boy to his mother months before he died. It's been 25 years since and his mother still keeps the letter. It’s all faded and threatening to tear up, but every time she comes across it, she cries. She has hundreds of long letters from her two other children and nothing values up to this one. How do I know this? The mother is my mom too and the boy was my elder brother.
Friday, August 15, 2008
- I am overweight. Like that’s not enough, overweight people also have more weightege in many diseases, one of which is likely to kill me. I pray it is quick!
- Absence of a romantic liaison is said 2 be a cause for depression and early death. So am in for a coffin again. (but everyone who is a part of couple I know suffer from moderate to severe stress. So I don't envy them. This romance is total crap. You are in it? There is a world of stress. You are not?? Again stress. isn't there a justice in the world?)
- My one parent is diabetic. So its 80% chance for me. My second parent too is diabetic. So its 90% chance. And obesity gives me another 90%. And my life style, is not at all supporting the cause. So altogether I have around 260 percent chance. Am soo dead!
- I like to get into arguments a lot. And once I start, I usually do almost everything to win it, which include shouting, storming off, throwing things etc.. So someone who happens to have a gun is most likely to shoot me.
- I have a drivers license but I am told I drive like I have a death wish. Not many know its because am terrified of it. So I usually don’t drive at all. So if I drive sometime, in the time of a dire need, am likely to kill myself. If also I didn’t kill myself, my dad will be killing me if I ever caused a scratch on his car. (rolling eyes)
- The small towns lack anything interesting. Like clubs or discos or multiplexes or malls…. There is a huge list. So if I cave in here for some more time, boredom is likely to pounce on me when I am unaware and throttle me.
- My dog do not like the dog biscuits. He likes tiger biscuits by Britania. Unlucky for him, I too like the same biscuits.?(many people like that biscuits!!!its cool with milk.) Sometimes, from the way he looks at me, I can tell you, he is thinking of poisoning me.
- And I am making this very important list when I am supposed to be studying for a test tomorrow. So my mom, if she found out, is likely to slay me on my lap. Oh! I hope my lap wouldn’t get damaged!!!
Yeah.. There is a similarity in idea with meg cabot's all American girl. Its totally intentional.
this is the least i could do on our INDEPENDENCE DAY besides getting pissed off in the morning.. And HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to all. dont take it as a holiday. Do something that make you an Indian. As my friend Jayram in NAVY said in orkut- Sarfaroshi ki thamanna ab humare dil mein hein..
Today really early morning while I was sleeping, (does it have a filmy ring?) I got a series of missed calls from an anonymous number. (Well, it wasn’t early morning, just 7am. But in my life, 7am is too early. I am not a morning person. Now when I think about it, I am not a noon person either, especially, if I slept late. I am more of a night person, I think. Pathetic, seeing the fact that small towns don’t have late night clubs or discotheques.)
Now that I have cleared the part of me being a lie in sorta person, let me continue the story. I got this continuous string of missed calls in my cell which totally woke me up from my mindless dream-filled sleep. I thought it may be one of my friends. (But none of them usually missed-calls me when they want me to call back. And am not a lets-make-missed-call-for-fun sorta person either. All my friends knew am partially broke and but I thought may be, may be some one is in dire need of help!) so I waited for sometime, as am a blabbering idiot just out of sleep, and called back. I was welcomed by a shrieking, high pitched girl going “helloooooo”,”how are you, where are you” and a list of things my sleepy-head didn’t register. So I calmly asked who she is. Then came the next string of “didn’t you recognise me??” (Enne manasilaayilye in Malayalam.) By this time i was fully awake and I grounded out “no”. So then she asked “are you not Jeena?” I said no again. So she said, ”oh, wrong number” and then she cut the line.
Cut the line. I mean, I woke at an unnatural hour(am not exaggerating, its unnatural for me!), called this girl back thinking one of my friends is in trouble, with the little money I had in my prepaid, and I get a cut direct?? You bet I was seriously pissed off. I got so angry, I was blind and I called back. And I began by “who do you think you are? You really check out the number you choose to disturb at this..cut. I mean CUT THE LINE?? Now I started seeing red. To curb my anger I send her an sms telling her that it’s a bad manners to cut the call when she is the guilty party who caused all the hulchul.
Dear reader, do you think I was rude? May be, but I don’t like when I am forced to wake up early by people I know and causes that are absurd. But are there manners while using a phone? The new gen doesn’t seem to get it. So I will enumerate some of them.just some.
-> 1. ->Call strangers between 9am-9pm. This also includes the numbers you think you know and those friends you call after a long interval.
2. 2. ->Make sure you got whom you wanted. Introduce yourself and get one intro back.
3. 3. ->Do not begin by “tell me who I am” and “did you recognise me”. (I learned this the hard way, thanks to jay)
4. 4. ->if you have wronged someone, listen to what they have to say. Apologize thoroughly. Say your part, and if they became a pest, call in help. Eg, brother or in worse case scenario, police.
5. And never follow these when you are calling friends. But strangers are another case all together.
Later, she called me after the sms, and my anger was all cooled off, so its ok, we are ok, have a great time and bye.
You too reader, have a great time and ciao.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
This one i came across 1 year back and still marvels at it. So i think i would like to share it with you.
Sonnets from Portuguese. Elizabeth Barrett Browning
how shall i love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach,when freezing out of sight
for the ends of being and ideal grace
I love thee to the level of every day's
most quiet need; by sun and candle light
I love thee freely, as men strive for bright
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old grieves and my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love i seem to lose
with my lost saints-i love with the breath
smiles, tears, of all my life!--and if God choose
I shall but love thee better after death.
how is it??
i dedicate it to all my friends who have known what is it to love truly. So i think that covers a lot of people.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
There was this gr8 friend of mine who made into 1st 10s. I was overjoyed. I love this girl and she is a really nice person. Moreover we were bosom buddies in our 1st year of college and till last we maintained a clean contact and a more than professional friendship. After knowing the results, and living through my nightmare of a result, i called this girl who,then was out of state. I didn't got her and i called another friend who was with her, and asked him to convey my congrats. Later she came back, and its been almost a month and no contacts. Yet she calls many of my friends including my best friend. Dear ones, what should i read into this?? well, i still proclaim she is one of the nicest people i know.
Another friend of mine also made into top 20. Now this was a girl whom i knew from when we both were 11. We were together in school and later in college. In both places, we moved in different circles. We were never thick friends, just casual hi-nice dress-bye ones. But she called me to say even though i didn't saw the point in calling her. (Am not a bad person, people, after knowing the shite that i call my results, there was only little i could do.) So i was soooo happy when she called me, that also on the same day. Ah..do i love her!!
And there is this another one, (real close friend of mine in early years in college, later we both bitched each other for some time and now platonic friends,) who just made it,even though she worked her arse off for this. After some 1 or 2 weeks after the results when her entry was almost confirmed, called me. after the "congrats, you made it" and "when are you joining" blah blah blah... she whined about how she should have gotten a better rank..and that too, to me, who was smashed and powdered in the same. Only she can do that. But i know her, she was always whiny to people whom she liked, so am counting myself in the list and not complaining. I like her too. She is a bit childish, but she is a good friend.
Thats 3 friends. People will always change, and you just have to accept them however way they are. And love them. All these people were an important part of my past and they would remain so.
the only thing they did was, let me loose a hefty sum on travels and shifting, loosing a job i already had, and making me restless. and so, just to spite them atleast, i am going to try my arse off for higher studies.
dear reader, wish my luck.
Yesterday, another social networking friend of mine, Jay, called me. I wasn’t expecting his call as he is out of state and jobless currently [guys.. He is not a regular loser, but a post-graduate one. actually he is cool. Its all due to the current downfall of IT industry and he is waiting for it to pick up pace]. Jay is a very jovial and funny person and whenever he calls me,we both laugh like mad from "hello" to "bye then”. Yesterday, after the introductory hello laughs, he suddenly told me that his girl friend's marriage is now fixed. (You should know that from the part of world I come from, parents arranging marriages is quite common. If you ask me, it totally sucks!) He said that they had a slightly serious monogamous fling only, and he is totally alright with the situation. Then he proceeded to tell me how cool this girl is, how cute is her smile and how used to call him to her from across the room and used to tell him "lets go n rent a room" when he is near,(thats what i call sexy!) and how it got him on fire. (Yeah right. You are totally over her. I believe you.)
Being the good friend that I am, I suggested serious bitching many a times.(i think it totally makes up for the aversion therapy.)But no, our romantic hero is not into getting-over stuff. he is cool facing it. Bullshite and foolish, i say. If u r reading this jay, take me seriously, am good at sorting others lives! Its min that i need help with.
Me thinks, his problem is that he is totally upset with his financial and career state and is over reading into this.
So I told him to move on with his life. After some more reminiscence and our usual laughs, we said "bye then" after 2 hrs.
I think I will hear about "this amazing girl whom I totally love" after 6 months. And knowing Jay, even before that.
The day rain makes you want to touch it, feel the coolness, and in a totally mad and abandoned moment, makes you want to step into rain, feeling the coolness and the excitement seep into your body and clothes, with a naughty smile.
And here is it differs from night rain. At night, wen it rains, u totally feel a whole lot, more than what you get from standing in rain, by just listening. The moment is so earthly and divine, u feel tears in eyes. It so reminds u of loneliness, (of course if you are single only), and sadness, passion, love and loss. It is a wonder all these emotions can be perceived while only listening and feeling slight coolness with closed eyes.
So, dear reader, if ever you happen to wake up to a midnight rain, just stop a moment to listen to it, open yourself to the feelings it brings, it’s a magical experience. Lose yourself in it. You will feel closer to heaven. Closer to yourself.
its my life.. its my blog..
so, friends.. family.. pardon me!!for being myself..