When you are absolute sure of the extend of damage, you can get on with life. Do damage control, come to peace with it, cry over your loss, get mad..
But it is another thing when you are in uncertainties. When you are not sure that this person who has grown into such a huge part of your life is alright or not. Your mind screams at you all the possible things that could have gone wrong. You imagine the worst. Your stomach is in knots. You are afraid of looking at people's faces fearing that they will see the raw fear etched on your face. You sit and mull over the things that happened the whole day. You go over again and again through texts and scraps even though nothing happened worth remembering. You wonder over the emotions. Did you part in an angry note? Is he doing this to get back at you? Did he said anything about being too busy to pick up or cancel calls? You think yourself into sickness.
You do mundane things to calm yourself. To distract your mind. Still this weight on your heart distracts you. You take a bathe to calm your head. You stand under the shower for so long that you don't know if your eyes are blood shot because of the prolonged shower or tears.
You think of insults to reign on him when he finally calls or picks up his phone. You make up sentences that shows your glee. At the same time, fear lingers in your heart that you may not use these words ever. Or see his grin again.
You cant complete the novel you started earlier. You don't want to get lost in TV or other distractions. You refuse to look through the window and see playing children. You don't want do anything but worry.
You think back on time and wonders if he knows how much he means to you. How much you will miss every smiley of his. The Grin, the tongue, loser, rolling with laughter, drooling and especially the angry and sad ones which are your favourites. How much you will long for the tit for tat texts you send back and forth.
You think of blogging and to lighten your mind you start working on your blog.
Near the end, after 6 hours, 16 missed calls and countless texts, you get a text back that says "today my team leader took my mobile.. :| i got it back just now.. What a bad day.. :( i am all rite.."
:D :D :D
PS: This is an actual incident. All characters are alive. Thank God!
And this will be my first post in 3rd person.