Sunday, February 13, 2011

Khandaani Baatein

You know, i never write much about the family. So i thought I'll remedy that today.
More than that, mom went over to my uncle's to see her mom, so i am missing her so so much. All the times when we are together, we are cross with each other. She doesn't like my laid back attitude, my state of singledom and you name it, she hates it. Sometimes i wonder if she ever loved me. But then there are times like this, where i miss her and wish that she was here, if only to scold me. And since she is gone, house work falls on the shoulders of moi, which is terrible. :P
I hate our mixer grinder. I am almost sure that it has a thing for me. Bad thing.
One of the first tips of kitchen the mixer taught me was never to grind anything hot. It was a very painful lesson.
The thing is, when ever i go to grind coconut, which is often if you are a keralite, the second i turn the key, the coconut start flying all over the place. I personally have no problem with flying coconut grind, but i hate cleaning.
In our house, there is two decks of cards. We play often, mostly rummy and recently poker too. I made the chips with some cardboard paper and Aqqui(the bro) hates them. He says it doesn't have much panache. Hmmph.
Our dad is a master player. However inebriated he is, i am almost sure that he knows whats in all our hands.
Mom plays for fun. She never leaves a game, even though her hand is hopeless.
I am an exceptional shuffler, which amazes most people. Even though i am well versed at cards, they hate me. Or why would they conspire to form unimaginative pairings en-route to me?
Then there is Aqqui. The black sheep. For long my parents were afraid to teach him this, for the fear of corrupting him. Then when they became sure that he is as boring as a sack of potatoes, they taught him. His famous rummy comments range from "I have a hand full of royals, with no relation between them," to "J is for Jackie? i thought that was Joker."
But he has exceptional luck and he remains the only one to have a hand-rummy on the house, which he proceeded to present while downing the 13th card. Get it?
But we all owe him serious cash. Which he is never going to get.
The dog is gay, i think. One day, someone brought a bitch in heat to do the nasty and Rocky almost killed her. He started barking like he saw the ghost and after an attempted attack, the owner took her to some other guy in need.
I think we should try bringing home a man-dog. What you think?
Mom makes this gorgeous mango pickles.
Great huh?
Too bad, none of us like mango pickles.
My friends, my brother's friends, neighbors... everyone go gaga over it and we are like 'meh' and this pisses her off.
And the next year, she makes more pickles.
My uncle is craaazy.
There are cases of mental illness in dad's family, which mom points out every time they argue. But uncle is mom's brother, and a very prominent doctor too. And i think dad should point to him some time. The guy has some serious issues behaviorally.
He once said my brother needed a better dressing. My brother. Who wont wear gold if it was not branded. :-/
He once smacked me on the shoulder at a wedding. Hard.
I smacked him right back.
It was painful!
May be i shouldn't criticize him much. What say?
My Grandma is weird. And almost 90.
Mom recently teased her, saying 'may be you should marry'.
Grandma said, 'Yeah, i can talk to and listen to someone."
She cant hear if a bomb went off near her ear.

If you read it so far, i applaud you.
I know it has been a boring post.
But i miss mom and the whole managing home thing is driving me crazy.
I am never getting married. Ever.
Need to sleep now if i want to wake up and finish work at a decent hour.


purple moonbeam said...

Loved the glimpse into your family life. Your brother's quotes were hilarious :D
Reading about your misadventures with the mixer grinder reminded me of the first time I heard a pressure cooker on the stove. I was too deeply disturbed to go near it, describing it as a fire breathing dragon. It freaked me out at the time.
This post was a real treat. Do add some more tidbits on your khandaan soon. I'm considering having a post of my own now :D and the title totally nailed it!
I like the new look. Happy Valentine's Day!

Archana said...

I enjoy reading you post. Honestly this is my second post that I have read. But its great. Please do write often. I could do with i laugh a day after my session with my 16 year old.

smalltown_girl said...

@Purple moonbeam: thanks! u write it. i will check, promise. and happy valentines too. i thought why not love in blog, if also no love in real life. :)

@Archana: aww, i am sure it is not that terrible! thanks for the kind comments :)

purple moonbeam said...

soon soon :)
for now, i've tagged you for a blogger award on my blog.. it was my first one :D hope you pass it on!

Ramanathan Kannan said...

I think this is your best post EVER.