Monday, February 14, 2011

Murder on the Lovers' day

Since i am not and is not going to be "in love" with anyone for an unseeable future, i can, in leisure, plan murders on the most romantic and most hyped day on the planet.

5. Saint Valentine: The legend of this dude is that he was imprisoned by some king in Roma and then while in jail, he performed wedding ceremonies which the king opposed cuz this meant less single soldiers. Makes any sense? Not to me too. So what was he? Marriage broker? If the awesome king Claudius hadn't killed him once, i would have, considering the amount of crap we have to endure from new year the 14th feb. And the pressure. And the mayhem. The only good thing was that they showed rom-coms on tv and this year, damn it, they are showing twilight saga 1 and 2. I mean, Come on!

4. Stephanie Mayer: For ruining my perfect movie day. Seriously, vampire and werewolf. Tasty girl meat. Monster pregnancy. The only thing this thing lacks is aliens and flying monkeys. Would have loves to see ET saying "Bella go home".

3. People who send kisses and hugs via sms on the day: If you dont have anyone to send these to, shut your trap. Sending every single one in your contact list the sms is desperate and rather pathetic.

2. Archies: Archie man ( here i am imagining an old geezer, as no one that rich for that long is cute or funny) why do you have to go on and make so fab cards? And while you were at it, why didn't you made some sent-to-self cards? Another thing, what is with all the confetti and red colored hangings?? I feel colour blind.

1. The only person that seriously irritates me and gives me creeps: You loser. Stop stalking me. Stop reading my blog. Stop sending me FB friends requests and stop mailing me anything. I don't care and i have never cared. If you still haven't figured out things, i honestly pity you. Get a life. And do not try to contact me ever again.

Phew!

1 comment:

Rajlakshmi said...

whewww i hope the stalker stops stalking you :)
ROFL at your take on vampire :D