Monday, October 20, 2008

My Will. ( you never know when it is too late to say something!)

No, i am not in my death bed. Actually i am at the peak of my health (from where only downfall is possible. That too HUGE, consider the ways i treat myself.) So, if by chance, i get to die young, preferably painlessly and with a status quo disease making everyone sad(i am such a drama queen, i live for it), i want leave a will behind.
so, here it goes..
1. I want a cremation, not burial. I hate to think about it even, yes, i am afraid of lying lonely under 6 foot of dark soil with worms eating me away and only rats for company. Ugh! it sounds so disgusting huh? Now, anyone asking for a burial anymore?

2.I want all my worthless things destroyed. That's the things no one wants and no one wont use, ever. Give out what ever anyone wants, but dont keep anything home. I dont want anyone (by which i mean Mom) getting sad seeing things which remind her of me.

3.I want Di to have my laptop. If only my Bro is ok with it, which i hope he will be. Its not that i love Di more, but Di would never get herself a laptop if not this. Also she knows Mr.Q (my laptop) like i do, and love him and take care of him. [Bro is the worlds most careles person.] Mr.Q is a very forgetful (not enough RAM) person, but very able, clean and hardworking. And he knows all my secrets, Same as Di. And then there is the 'wonderful' times we both spent with Mr.Q, which was amazing, and i want her to remember me. 

4.My phone should go to H. There is no sentimental reasons attached. As Bro recently bought a fancy mobile, he wont need my year old phone. And H's phone is like the BAAP of all things mobile. Abacus. Antique. ( so, dear H, call the motorola company and tell them about your phone. If someone is there who survives the coronary, the thing you call mobile will be featured in their museum and you will be given a seat in the advisory board.)
Actually there is a story behind H's phone. She, in our college days had a boyfriend. Later, when her parents found out, they threw a tantrum and asked her to forget everything (some religion or something. parents can be such babies!!) They stopped being lovers and started the best-friend thing and its amazingly working. (He is a very nice guy and a very good friend, and they suit so well, so, these days i am urging H to proceed with it and forget all the shite associated with home, but she loves her parents too much.) So, back to the mobile, when H was thinking of buying a mobile, He got a new one and was thinking how he will get rid of this junk, so he gave it to her [she is gonna kill me! :) ] So she couldn't tell her parents where she bought it from, so she told home that 'I' sold it to her. How that must have hurt my ego? I EVER owning that Match box! I am still licking my wounds in private! So she wont get a new one, and I, who 'gave' her the 1st mobile will give her the next too.

5.All my jewellery, should go to my Bro.. Except the antique looking pendent, its to Mom, as she was lusting after it for so long now.So, the rest goes to Bro, and no, he isnt transsexual, i want him to sell it and go for a tour. A grand tour. Or give it to his girlfriend. And do not forget to get it back if you ever break up. ;)

6.All my accessories should go to.. hmm.. H, i think. Di would never use it, Sony too. And no one has cute daughters or those that i like.

7.My novel collection is for Di. And she should read it! [ guess she wont miss me much after this!] The texts and other study books are for my current boss, with an instruction that he should read it and try to learn something before bossing me and H around (ok, this was a joke, but the rest isnt).

8.Please do not delete my ORKUT account and blog. i would want to know if internet is available in hell. ( You wouldnt think i will get into the other place right? Even if i get an invite from gabriel, I would wanna be with you all. That's more fun na?) And everyone, Keep in touch. Via Social Networks.

9. This is a special message to Di. Send A an email. And tell him I always loved him. And ask him never to hate me.

10. Buy Rocky a chocolate on every January 25th. He will not miss me more than the chocolates i get him.

So, i think thats it. And if i forgot something, i will edit it in later. 

I Hereby Solemnly Swear That Everything Written Above Is Correct And Should Be Taken Care Of.

bye all.. 


pseudo intellectual said...

nice will. sensible division of assets :P

Aneesh.C.K. said...

nothing regarding your soul, whom does that belongs to?

atul xy said...

that was sooooo negative... but at the same time hopeful... i m awestruck after reading it...
thanks and regards...

small_town girl said...

@pseudo intellectual

@ aneesh
soul will wander n haunt u guys, i hope :p

@ atul xy
thanks buddy, i agree it was a bit negative