Friday, May 15, 2009

This post would have an angst over-do. Skip this if you want to..

What is expecting too much from anyone? You meet one person, after two weeks of hi-bye, expecting them to loan you money is too much. After 6 months of intense talk, expecting someone to marry you, or even love you, is too much. Expecting people not to move on from you is too much. Expecting people to blindly accepting what you do is too much.
See, i know what is TOO MUCH.
My question is, when you feel like the whole world is against you, you turn to some one, one among many of those closest to you. Is expecting an ounce of recognition and kindness from that someone, with whom you think you are close to, is too much? Expecting friendship and the other things that comes in that package from someone with whom you share every happiness and many a smiles, is it too much?
Why would two absolute strangers meet every night, talk like crazy, smile, laugh, share every little secrets, every night, for months? Why? Why would two people who haven't even heard each other's voice properly know so much about each other? Feel the closest to. Forgoing earlier friendships. Why? It has to be SOME friendship. right?
I too thought that. Those that happens once in a life. I thanked god that it happened twice with me. May be that is my mistake. Who knows, may be it was all an act. If it was, boy you kick every one's ass.
Everyone talked to me all the dangers that i can get into, in internet. Scary ones. No one mentioned this. And jeez, this hurts. I want to say so much. Hurl in every insult i know. Bark out eff word. Throw something. Make him feel every ounce of rejection i felt. What is the use? At the end of the day, its my heart that broke. Nothing can cure that.
Folks, Smalltown girl is not a sad person. In fact i try to find happiness in the most morose of moments. So this is a one time thingy. Let us say i learned a valuable lesson. :) Be with me, people.
Now, To You- You know who you are- See, somewhere along the way, i made you out to be someone who is so important to me, a huge part of my life, the one friend who came and never left. I was in love with what we shared. Now i have to learn how to let that go.


Sukhdeep said...

as much as i know you from your blogs.. i jst can say one thing.. GIVE SOME TIME.. things will rock again..
god bless ya :)

smalltown_girl said...

@ Sukhdeep
thank for the kind words. really needed those.

The Dramaqueen said...

I feel strangely attached to those words.
Every single thing that you've written.
It sounds weirdly familiar to my own life.

By the way, *big hug* :)

Rajlakshmi said...

Time will heal all... I could feel you are very hurt...

Nemo said...

Nice,treat to read.

.... said...

Oh I so identify with this post. Have been going through the same thing for the last two months. Though I haven't reached a better place emotionally... hope you are feeling better.