Honestly, the cities have a way of attaching itself on you. Make you so crazy about it, even with all its imperfections. It grows on you slowly, and one day you realize that you don't want to go back, even though you hate the place and the people here.
Its like a sexy mistress, seductive; you know its not good, you know more times than not it is not so fond of you, you know you will have much more peace and understanding from the good old hometown where everyone knows you. But you cant leave. You live for its better moments, even though it is far and fewer in between. Its like a really bad addiction.
I know i am not the first to feel this tug o' war. I like living here, but there are moments when i miss my smalltown life like mad.
Especially when i am sick. And lonely. Fever is not some deathbed scene for me. But it makes me want my home and family with an intensity that is quite fierce.
Things i miss from Home- especially when i am down with fever.
- Amma- Whenever i am sick, she gets on like an overprotective orangutan mom. She checks on often, and sometimes scolds me for being a careless baby to get the disease, which makes me crazy. I miss the scolding. Even though in the past few days she has called like fifty times, i miss her random checks and poor-baby pats and hugs.
- Mom's chukku kaapi- Chukku is ginger and kaapi is, of course, coffee. Its a dreadful spicy drink, after drinking which you will run and mouth some sugar to cool your tongue. Mom feeds us that hourly while ill. We think she is being rather sadistic. But it makes the fever go away in like, a day. Here also i make something that tastes like that. How ever i try, its not as awful and it not as effective either. Sigh.
- My Bed- Which rather hard, with a me-shaped dent right in the middle, but its the place where i get maximum rest and sleep.
- My room- The one thing i hate and love in my city room is the pouring sunlight. Some days it makes my days brighter. But the fever photo-phobia makes my eyes crave my room with a huge mango tree right near the windows which makes it virtually dark at noon.
- My dog, who knows when i am sick and in companionship comes and lies down on my feel. Which is rather painful, but i like it anyway.
- Dad who runs after me with a paracetamol, which is something i abhor. His belief in modern medicines in something i didn't inherit from him.
Taking care of yourself is something you need to learn sooner or later. But it doesn't mean that you stop wishing someone would do it for you at your most vulnerable.
PS: The one thing i love most about the city is also the family. Them and their over-intrusive, overprotective, overbearing ways are a few hundred kilometers away. Aw, shucks.