Endless Love

Some love stories begin beautifully. Hearing them makes you want love so badly that it will hurt. But there are some love stories that are different. It will still hurt you badly.

I was talking to a new patient. [Basic case taking. They share their woes. We pretend to listen while looking for valid points to fill the case sheet.] Old lady, arthritic, very pleasant but a sadness hiding somewhere in her face.

"My husband died 6 months ago. He is a very nice man. He took extremely good care of me. He would urge me to go out every day and do something very simple like a walk. He was not so healthy, but he would still come to give me company." She smiled wistfully.
"On that day, like usual, he made me a cup of coffee. He had bought me a walking machine, treadmill. I said i am not walking, and he said he will instead of me. He walked for a few minutes. And usually after walks he would lie down for a few minutes to rest. Before lying down, he asked me to drink the coffee he bought me. He never woke up. They said it was cardiac arrest." By this time, her words were choked up and her tears were streaming down her face. And mine were brimming with tears too.

This is what i said earlier.
Some love stories begin so beautifully, it will hurt you. Some love stories end beautifully and it hurts even more. Or do they really end?

New Year? Really?

This is the first time I've not felt the celebratory light of New Year in my life. And i live in a city. That is saying a lot. May be finally i am at the level of maturity that makes you take everything in colorless tone. Literally, old. That is bad. But i think mostly its the fear to grow old while i accomplished so little in the life so far. Peter Pan syndrome. With a little insecurity thrown in for company.

January was the most loved month for me. For all the birthday gifts it bring. Now its my most hated month. And don't blame if i switched off the mobile on the freakishly frightening Jan 25.

And to all young folks, Happy New Year. And to all my folks, I know dear, I know.

Sometimes it lasts in love, Sometimes it hurts instead.

I forgot YOUR birthday this year.

This is the first time i passed a September 3 without wishing you since I turned 16 and came to know you.

It's moving forward, or on, right?

Then I hear this amazingly sung Adele song and I remember you.

Vividly and Painfully.

Never mind. I'll find someone like you.

[PS: I am gay for Adele. ]

Puppy Love.

As you know, I am in a city now. Actually working here. Here the life is nice and i've made a few friends as well. One of them is a very beautiful and very nice girl from Brazil, named Barbara. Since the first day, I knew that she is brilliant and hard working, but the following incident brought to me something entirely different to my focus.

One day, in the afternoon, I was approaching the workplace and I saw this big commotion at the corner outside the clinic. I went and saw a very teary Barbara, and I was truly bewildered. What would make this seemingly strong and empowered woman cry?
I went to enquire more and I saw that she was clutching a very little and very sick stray puppy. Not to mention ugly.
She explained to me that she found him in a ditch and she just couldn't abandon him. He didn't seem to have any sibling or parents. A truely lonely soul left to die. She picked him and brought him to the clinic, where truly the raising of a dog was one thing that can get you fired. I thought of explaining this to her, but left that idea then and there.
Barbara went and brought some pedigree dog food puppies. But this puppy was even smaller for that. He hadn't weaned yet. She gave someone some money to get the dog milk daily. She said she couldn't take the dog to her homeland but wanted to do something for him as long as she was here. In a matter of days, the dog got better and was playing and prancing and doing all sorts of mischievous stuff a healthy and happy puppy is supposed to do.
In all of this happy-happy story, something was not right and someone was in a very difficult position.
Me.
Of course I am a dog lover and I wanted the best for the dog. But the problem was, if the office(a short walk away) found out that the place was harbouring and fugitive puppy, it was going to be my head under the axe (not a pretty picture.).
So I was pro adoption. Actually it was the only solution to the whole issue. Someone has to give the puppy another home. And fast.
We'd place the dog near the dog everyday evening so that some kid would take a fancy and take him in. Days passed. There were days when some boy would say he'll ask his parents and then we wont see the tail of him. We were getting a bit desperate.

Finally, yesterday a kid said if he can come a little after 4 after asking someone at home and take the dog. We shouted a very relieved "YES!". I had to leave shortly and didn't hear what happened then.

Today afternoon, like always, around 3, I said I am going to play with the dog. But then someone told me, "a boy yesterday took the dog home, you didn't hear?".
I was ecstatic. "Did anyone tell Barbara?"
"We didn't."
I ran off and told her the happy news.
"YAY!" She jumped in joy clapping hands, and swear to god, so did i. :-)
Finally, a happy ending! To all party concerned.
To the unnamed dog- Hello buddy, where ever you are, stay happy and healthy. I hope you have a loving family now, and a funny name too. And never forget Barbara, because angels work in mysterious ways.

@_@

Do you remember that story i was sending to be included in an anthology?

Well they accepted it. Nothing big.

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WHO AM I KIDDING?

I AM SO PSYCHED!!!!! ITS HUGE!!!

*deep breaths*
Its not that big. Be calm. Graceful too. Smile.

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NOT WORKING!!!!

STILL PSYCHED!!!

Life And Death Of An Internet Friendship

I've had it, you have had it. I bet there is not a single internet user who hasn't experienced this. The internet friendships. There are those that go years long. Or those that die in hours. But there is always the similar pattern.

The Circle Of Internet Friendships.

Stage 1 - Casual Curiosity

The time you are aware of this new person on the horizon. You are not dying to know more, yet you are not shying away or deliberately avoiding them either. You don't change your profile to impress them or don't seek to know if they are online. Or Schedule your net time so as to suit this person. And you definitely, most certainly DO NOT THINK ABOUT THEM OFFLINE.

This stage is what you share with many many people. Some relations die at this stage, not getting into the next stage. That is good too. But if i did get into the next stage, it will complete the cycle.

Stage 2- Insatiable Obsession

You come to know a few things about this person and you like what you know. You are hungry for more. You are intrigued about this one and is happy when this person is online. You two make time to hangout together and you are on time for that. You schedule your offline life for your online time. With all the new found love, you are still insecure. What if all this is one sided. Is your friend as happy with you as you are with them?

You are doubtful. But its all worth it.

Stage 3- Delightful Comradery

You reach a stage in the friendship where you are secure with your friendship. The time of doubts have passed. Nothing can come between you and your friend, as tight as you two are. You share almost everything online. You have contacts offline too. Your friend randomly access your brain space and make you smile. You two touch bases because its wrong if it is not done. You are proud of your friend and this makes you feel better about yourself. You are happy with yourself and your friend.

You think nothing can go wrong. Nothing can burst this moment. Can it?

Stage 4- Insatiable Obsession- Reprise

Something is wrong. You can't pinpoint it, but it is there. You know you two are drifting away. You don't want to, but you can't help it. You are compelled to find something via social networks again, the way you first connected. You try to read between lines. You try to be online when the other is. You don't want it, but you know the fight is going out of you. You are resigning to the facts all these present. But you are escorted to some last attempts of saving the normalcy, hence the obsession.

Stage 5- Casual Curiosity- Reprise

Yes,you guessed it. The relation comes to a full cycle. You know this person and they never leave your mind wholly. You see each other on networks. You get the news and you 'like' or retweet each other. You are interested in them, happy to know their success and new moves, but you don't sweat after it. Finally they are another number in your phone and another person in the mailing list.

It is finally what they say, 'OVER'.

The whole point of this exercise is, life goes on. Nothing is stationary and it is not a bad thing. But enjoy the little joys when it lasts. Lord knows it is not going to last forever.

PS: This is, in some ways related to my past experiences and some people in my life. But by no means is it accusatory or poking with the wrong end. I thought this was funny, when looking back on some of the happiest and saddest times of my life.

Miracles

How often does miracles happen? If not in your life, in someone else's?

I will tell you about two of my friends.

Sruthi and Haari.

Sruthi and Haari were my college mates. Not best of friends, but they had two good friends in common. Me and Sony. And you know about Sony, who gave birth to Joe 2 years ago for which i am still pissed off at her, because i specifically asked for a baby girl to spoil. It is not too much to ask, eh? And how is anyone supposed to spoil baby boys? Am getting off track.

So, Sruthi married 4 years ago, to this guy who scares the shit outta me. But he thinks she walks on water and her smiles generate angels, so we tolerate him. They have been trying to have a child for eons and after two consecutive abortions, Sruthi was depressed and was losing hope.

Haari married last year. To another guy who looks imposing and scary, about whom i am not passing any comments on. She went abroad with him and got back a few months later. Why? She got preggers faster than she wanted to. It was a happy news, which i was one of the first to receive. (She stayed abroad for 4 months because, apparently, unlike in India, they do tell they sex of the child after the sonogram. And she was told it was a boy!)

Well, she came back and told us that her due date was May 19.

Who calls the next day and says her EDD is also on May 19?

Sruthi.

Apparently they got a positive and as they had been cheated by fate before, so Sruthi and Mr. Sruthi kept it secret for a while.

Anyhow, the dates were a match! And after some awkward ribbing from us nosies, we forgot it, as people rarely give birth on EDDs.

Towards the last few days of the May, Sruthi informed us that she was scheduled for cesarean section on May 16th. Haari said that her doc is pushing on 19th for a normal delivery and asked to get admitted then.

On monday, around 9.30 in the morning, i got a prearranged sms from Sruthi's scary ass hubby, informing us they had a girl child. Rejoiced, i called Sony. And then we both called Haari, to whom the call went unattended. Sony and I were both doubtful, but we let it rest.

Around 6 PM, i got this call from an unknown number.

Me: Hello!

Unknown rough voice in phone: Hi dear, this is Haari. I just gave birth. I was all an emergency.

Me: *gasp*

Haari: Would you call Sony and tell her?

Me: *gasp* Yeah!

Haari: By the way, i guess the tests went wrong, it is a girl.

Me: *GASP*

So, that is it folks! One day, two girls(who are mothers now) and another two baby girls. Guess i have enough little ones to spoil now. And a wonderful story to boost.

Miracles do happen.

Race of Life

Do you ever feel like you are in a race you don't know about and the time is running out? You have to make a move, you have to make choices, you have to think, everyone is getting way ahead of you but you don't know what the hell you need to do to stay away and/or alive?

I am in such a race. I don't know if i want to be in it. I am almost sure i don't want to be. I don't know when it started and when i fell so behind. But nonetheless i am in and i am losing.

Time is such an important factor in a crowd that doesn't believe in late bloomers or last laughers. You finished the race? Are you checking the milestones? Yes? You win. No? You suck.

And i suck big time.

I was always late growing up. I learned to take care of myself when i was 16 or something. That too barely. Considering i was living in a boarding, it created some pretty nasty episodes. I still am not an expert in it. I arrive for anything and everything late. I am a perpetual and professional late comer.

Does anyone get that? No. I am always asked, "where in the race are you?". I say "i haven't begun," and i get, "aw, poor girl! get going."

Come on!

May i won't ever run. May be i don't want to run. May be i am too scared and lazy to run.

But the race is on and until you reach the milestone, or die trying, you are nothing but a big freak.

The Prodigal Friend

Sometimes in life you make the stupidest decisions, and implement them without thinking about it.

You just feel hurt and you want to hurt someone so bad.

In the end its not only them that suffers, but you do too.

A few months ago, in a fit of jealous rage, you ostracize your best friend.

Not Di, the other best friend.

You just wanted him to feel what its like being avoided.

You should have given him some space or just talked to him about it.

Then again, you are not known for making the perfect decisions.

Then comes the slow burning reminders.

If you shared your life, your whole life with someone over a few years, its natural that everyday brings something that reminds you of them.

The Christmas with out a drunken mate.

An IPL auction.

Advices you terribly seek from no one but him.

Gossips you itch to share.

A movie he was urging you to see. (Inception)

Songs, habits, smoking.

You want to take back the deed.

But sometimes you want something so bad, doesn't mean its possible.

Your hands itch to make a step.

But you don't.

Like they say, pride comes before pain.

But you know, when it grows too much, you have to bite the bullet and face the consequences.

Good or bad or incredibly ugly.

Finally, you cant take it anymore.

Whats the worse?

He wont talk to you. How is that worse from the current situation?

An sms.

No reply.

Okay, that's settled then.

You can sigh and move on.

Damn.

48 hours.

Sorry Miss. Smalltown girl, replying late.

Oh god.

You cant stop grinning.

Yahoo Messenger.

Old times.

Gossips.

I was ready to go on bended knees.

Thank god he is no meanie.

I would really look weird on my knees before the computer.

Nothing is changed.

Or everything is, for the better.

Na, nothing is changed, for better or worse.

Thank God.

And after 10 days, on 11-1-11, you feel like its a New Year

PS: Ooh, and he is fat now! That's like a dedicated new year gift.

Rudra, don't dump me over this now :-/

Tying the Wrong Knots

I will site here two situations. You can tell me the difference in the comment section.

Situation One

*phone rings*

Person1(P1): Hello.

P2:Hello, i am calling after seeing an ad in paper.

P1: Yes, We did put an ad. Its for my daughter. Who is talking?

P2:I am the boy's father. Where is your proper place?

P1: We live in %%%%. Me and wife are retired now. This is our only child.

P2: What is your caste?

P1: XXXX. We assume you are too?

P2: Yes. I and wife both are. We have a younger girl too. She married a guy from the same caste.

P1: What does the boy do?

P2: He did BBB course, now works in TTT company. He earns NN per an

num. Well settled. He has his own flat there. And he is up for a promotion real soon.

P1: Well, thats great. So will you send a kundli so that we can go see the pundit?

P2: Oh yes. Soon. Then we'll meet you people if all goes right.

P1:I hope so too. If everything works as good as we hope, we dont want to delay anything.

P2: We dont, too. Its all for the kids' betterment. Why delay, eh?

P1: Ha ha. yeah. So i will tell you the address now..

P2:....

Situation Two

P1: Hello sir.

P2: Ah kaka, this maal you have looks good.

P1: Yes Sir, She is young, tender meat, ripe for plucking sir.

P2: Hmm. This was exactly what we were looking for. All tests done na?

P1: Yes sir. The doctor's certificate is here. See. If you like this i will get this to your home by tomorrow morning.

P2: Hmm. Make it day after tomorrow. Some people are coming to see my daughter. We are making mutton biriyani. So you cut it in the size for that.

P1: This is one excellent goat sir. Tender meat. Perfect for the biriyani.

P2: So, how much for the goat?

P1:...

Both these are not a rare conversations in modern India. On a second thought, the latter one is rarer than than the former. What does that say about the progressive, ready to embrace the world, youth powered India?

I can go on and talk a day about the injustice of it all. But the system is not going to change. Its not the girl, its not the boy.

So i am just keeping a cynical face on it.

Shane Mack: Lie to me

Today i happened upon this awesome awesome song. Loved it on first hearing. Then i heard it again. And again. And nth time, again. Everyone play it once and tell me you loved it too!

Lie to me Lyrics

Lie, of why you're leavin' early

Deny, that you're in any hurry

Cry and tell me not to worry

Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me.

Breathe, no baby don't feel guilty

Deceive me, then just walk away

Leave me, the truth would only kill me

And It's gotta be, it's gotta be this way.

One more bad excuse

Before you turn me lose

Give me something to remember you by

Couldn't you offer me

A little dishonesty

Promise me you'll try

You'll lie to me.

Woo..

Go, your plane's not gonna stay

Slow, so I can take it in

And so, you say you'll see me later

When you know you won't see me again.

Please before you let go of me

Take me one more time

Appease me, tell me that you love me

That you haven't gone and changed your heart.

One more bad excuse

Before you turn me lose

Give me something to remember you by

Couldn't you offer me

A little dishonesty

Promise me you'll try

You'll lie to me, lie to me.

By: Shane Mack.

NB: On a completely different note, i love this series on Star World, Lie to me.

Rants of an incurable romantic *angst*

There are days when i discover a true love story. A real life one. Its not in a story mode. It is of two people and their pages, littered across the networks. You need the indulgence and the resolve to find it. And a good stalker brain. [Don't worry. I am a good stalker, if there is one.]

Love is not only joyous to those who live it, but to those who see it too. Its like a sun rise, a promise that somewhere in the world, good things are happening. Its like a summer rain, a relief that the things you imagine, the things you want, exists. If not with you.

It amazes my how people find happiness the most random fashions, out of nowhere. Someone calls an old class mate after six years and boom, in 20 days they decide they will spend the rest of their life together. Someone gives up on love, meets another someone in an online matrimony site, exchange emails and then proceed on a very unconventional way to matrimony. I can tell so many stories here, but they all tell amazing tales of love. And makes me wonder why its happening to all these people and not me?

I mean, i am nothing, but somewhere out there, there should be someone who is nothing too, right? Or someone who likes nothing? I am embarrassing myself.

What i am saying is, the same way these stories make me happy and hopeful, they also awakens despair and resentment. Its out there, everyone says it, but i cant find it. There is nothing called love, you live with what you get, someone says, but the hopeless, hopeless romantic in me refuse to believe that.

Today it was someone i know(who doesn't know me, much), who, after a struggling life, found his him, and i say none deserve it more than he does.

May be love is not a privilege. May be it has to be earned. May be i have always been so happy with me, i don't need someone to make me happy. May be i need to work for it. Plot. Plan. May be it really is not for everyone. May be i should stop talking now.

But so many things are wrong with me/for me right now. I cant stop wishing for this one thing to be right. And then may be, everything would align right too.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-Lord Alfred Tennyson

Network Hearts Do Break Like Real Ones

Today i understood how much the social networks have ingrained themselves to our life. Its the you, only better. Its the you want to be and almost can be. Teeny tiny details in your profile is as important as your accessories. The intro is as important as your clothes. The movies and books in your profile equals your grad certificate, but cooler.

That same way, the friends in your Facebook(my poison) counts. Adding someone is a whim, but deleting someone is as painful as destroying an ex's photo. You might know these people only through the network. But your heart still hurts when you delete them from network.

I didn't wanted to make a scene of it, but all these angst was burning and seeing all these people when i login was not helping.

To Chetan, i dont have anything to say to you. You are nice. Keep it up bro.

To Rudra, You are a scumbag and if i write all that i have to say to you, my blog will get a court order. Just fuck off.

To Adi, its not you dear, its all me. You will always be the best person i ever met online. I hope you have an awesome life :)

Damn, Life sucks. And then you die.

Dog Love

Today I saw MARLEY AND ME. I know its a bit late seeing this. Trust me, usually I dont miss such pep movies. I haven't seen terminator-the-last yet, but I dont want that with Chris Bale and without Arnold Shwatwashisname. But I do watch romcom aka Jennifer Aniston.
So, I read the excerpt of Marley and me earlier and found that a bit meh. Dog and couple, usual fun, blah blah blah. And I decided I am not watching that. Big mistake. If someone comes to flick me for that, i'll gladly place my head in any position you might want me to. So what I was telling was, I missed one of the best pet movies ever made over a rash decision. And today, I was bored and looking for something on tv and I happened upon Marley and me. It had started a few minutes ago, but I decided i'll see it anyhow.
First I thought this too would be one of those film in which the dog talks in gruff voices, acts goofy and saves some ass. You know, the kind of dogs we never have. The ones we have are adorable at times, trying otherwise, disobeying, too hungry and always climbing on body when you wear a new dress. Exactly like marlay. I laughed a lot. Remembered my old dogs, and Rocky, and cried a whole lot towards the end. Its terrible when your dog passes away. Been there. I wont wish that on anyone. Especially because no one gets why you are sad and crying so much. They go like- "Dog died?Thats sad. But why dont you get a new one?". No one gets it.
The whole movie was about a normal(he might seem crazy, but all my dogs were exact same) dog through the eyes of a normal dog owner. The film touches you somewhere deep. The same place that makes you cover the dog's tablets in jam and buys him chocolate when you are at the supermarket counter.
After credit roll, I regretted ever raising my voice at rocky and resisting his ploys to get me to play with him. All I wanted to do was go out, find him and give him a fierce hug and chase him when he runs around with my chappal. Motivated, I found him chewing on a new bone at the backyard. I went and nudged him and said 'hey Rock!'. My dog looked at me, in anger, fiercely protective of his bone(like i am gonna at it), and says 'Grrr..'.

Yeah. Thats about all the dog love I can get until that bone is history. :p

Cutting the cord

There are a very few relationships that run life long in perfect harmony. Highs and lows. Happy times and sad times. All rolled into a thrilling beautiful ride. But some gets cut when the song is picking up the high notes. Or dies down when the slowness takes over. Or just gets plain irritating. Thus life is a symphony of a many songs. Some complete. Some incomplete.
Whoa! Why am I getting philosophic all of a sudden? Is age catching up with you favourite smalltown being? Na! I am just playing with you.
But what I was saying, there are time periods to certain relations. After a time it should be cut down. Even though there are no sour grapes. Even though you still like this person and he/she obviously cares about you a lot. There are certain junctures where you have to stop it and move on.
This is about someone I used to like a lot. I still do. One of my favourite people online. Always helping and always there with a hi. But you know, things always dont stop at great friendship. Sometimes you jump into relationships without thinking. Knowing thats its for fun. No future. No commitment. When time comes, one person move on. No hard feelings. And you are majorly lucky if you are that one person. Moving on one. If you are the other, its still ok, you dont care much. But it still stings somewhere. I dont want anything. I dont want old days back. But seeing someone happy and all when you are no where? It sucks. If I am bitchy for saying that aloud, so I am.
So, bye dear one, you struck a beautiful cord in my symphony.

The Last Wedding

So, H got married on Monday.

Last of my girlfriend to do so.

You know what this means. I am the last single one and my mom is on my back. :|

Tragedies aside..it was a beautiful wedding.. well, what all we saw.

Let me start from the beginning.

Since i decided that i would go to her wedding at last...Oh, i did forgot to mention that we were estranged for a while. Have i?

So,Let me start from the very beginning..

After college, we, me and H were the only ones who had the chance to work together. We came really close during this time. Even past her space issues and my nomadic lifestyle. Then she forgot to call and tell me about something i really should not have heard from someone else. Even though that someone was our mutual best friend. I, as usual, was pissed of. (Some say that i take myself too seriously when no one else does. Not true.) And thus started the longest period on non-communication between us since we were 19. The usual me who faced people who irked her, decided that i am done with being the confronting one and shut all my roads that lead to H.

Then came her wedding date, which was fixed while we were talking. I knew she would call me to tell about venue and all, so i dodged her calls. SO many times. My parents got concerned and even agreed to go to H's wedding on my behalf.

One day, while writing this post, it dawned on me that its easy to give away an 8 year old friendship and at this point, i would have to wait till i am 35 to reach that spot with someone else..IF that someone was anything remotely like H. And someone wise once told me that all the best friends you make in your life would be before you turn 20 and unless the clock turns around, i wont be making new ones. So, i swallowed my pride, took her call and after some hot words, some hurt ones, some soothing and loving ones, it was like that period never existed for us! Yay! Really. Girlfriends are the best! :)

So, to my eternal delight, Sony and my Soul-sis Di was also coming to the wedding. (Thank god i was going :P) I went out and bought a super awesome sari which would burn everyone with envy(I wish :P) and set off from my home the time she specified to reach the wedding hall in time.

Now, I would have killed H if it was not her wedding and 2000 people were not in attendance. Keeping her time meant not only i was late, but i was shamefully late. As i rushed in to the hall with Sony and her son Jo, thankfully we caught the most important part of the ceremony. Thank you Travel-God for that!

Di, who was coming from 220+ kilometers, was too late and only made it around lunch. And oh boy, what a lunch :D.

After photos and bye-bye, we(me and Di) went to Trichur and roamed aimlessly eating ice creams and french fries(not together.) Then i packed her off to her hubby and got home to a long bath and comfy bed :)

She is going to be mind-blowingly happy. I just know it. And no one deserves it better than this adorable, goody two shoes, sneaky bitch best friend of mine. Here is to you!

Love is in the Air

There is only one thing that is more sizzling than this Summer Sun. And that is love. Everyone around me is in Love. Marrying, dating, getting engaged and even getting dumped.

H is getting married on 26th. After some 6 months of chatting and complaining about overseas SMS rates, the day is here. Her fiance cant wait to get his hands on her. I would too, if i were in his place. She is that awesome.

One of my best friends is dating. Yup, getting over the last time he was in love was tough. I almost thought the kid got allergic to love. Thank god, he isn't. anyways, he is not telling me much, but i guess its for the best. I can be professionally bitchy and not to mention irritably possessive :P

Adi, is engaged, and for good this time. Poor guy was doomed the first time and good to see that this time, he is happy, relaxed and very very excited. He is too busy to catch up these days. Still, when i get hold of him, i can see that he is radiating happiness.

Old college room mate is engaged and ridiculously into PDA. I mean, we all like PDA and stuff, but there is a limit na? I would exchange the one hour car-pooling we had with a day in a dungeon full of scorpions. And they laugh at each others jokes that are really not funny. And i think that makes them soul mates :P

So, why am i going on and on about all these? Well, there is the obvious delight of gossiping. But apart from that, its tough being single in an Indian small town in your late 20s. Especially if you are a girl. Ah.. but your smalltown girl is a tough cookie :P. I get by. Its actually fun. The only hard part is trying to be happy about all these love around you. Trying to accept the fact the sometimes life is not fair. And you wont get your wishes all the time.

But when the time comes.. I just want it to be worth all these waiting and loneliness and heartaches.

Can't wait! :)

Scenes from a reunion

The reunion was more than a month ago. So blame it on friends who says they will send the pics the next day and then forget it for months. Though i am posting no pictures here. So, aham.

It was scheduled after so much planning from Aji and Yaseen. So this goes to them.

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*on entering the room*
Me: Hiyya Guys!!
Everyone: Hiyya Sree!
Someone: You lost weight!
Me: Yay me :D
Someone: Are you wearing lipstick?
Me: :-/

(This is a warning for all those tomboy college girls who return later, all girly)

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Aji: Why were you so late??

Me:I thought this was a whole day thingy!

Ambu: No its not!

Aji: Who said that? I am the organiser, i said 9.30-1!

Me:But it was 10 to 4 in facebook event!!

Aji: And who was it that created the facebook event?

Me: Me. :|

Aji: Ahha!

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Di(on phone): I forgot my footwear.
Me: Whaaat? Are you without any?
Di: I am wearing one. It’s a chappal.
Me: This is so sad. :D We'll go shopping :D :D
After some hours when Di is coming in to the hall..
ME: Guys, Di coming. Everyone look at her foot first.
Everyone Looks
*Hoots and laughs*
Di: Nice :-/

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Me: Where is fou?
Nish:She is nursing her kid.
Me:Hi fous.. Hi Adi…
Fou: :)
Me: Oh god, there's your boobs! :|
Fou: Yeah x-(

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Me:Hi seb!Is this your kid?*pointing at the 4 year old*

Seb: yeah

Me:is he the one who came to tour with us?

Back history: she was 7 months pregnant when we had the grand 10 day south India tour. And she jumped in all the rides and believe it or not, we were responsible for the safe delivery of that kid by forbidding her to enter many rides. By sheer force.

Seb: yeah. He is the one.

Kid: What tour? X-(

Kid:(after half an hour) What tour?

Me: :-S

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Me:Serena, would he like ice cream? (Her son is 1 yr old)

Serena: You can try. I haven't given him it yet.

Me:Ok, Let me.

Me:He likes it!

After five minutes

Me:Ok let me go irritate fou's kid now. bye!

Serena's son: *looking at me* MAMA!!

Serena: :O

Me: :D

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All the fun aside, it was a joyous occasion. Most of us came and those who didn't, called. And those who didn't called, does not deserve mention :P

Things i remember:

• There were loads of Kids. All cute and little. Ayshu's were exceptional, but no surprise as she and her husband look godly. i bought ice creams for many. Especially to Seb's kid who only mellowed to me after the ice cream. And of course, serena's.
• We have all gone to a millions of lunches together. In packs of varying numbers. We have shared dishes, pestered to get treats, stolen from each other's plates and received angry glares for them and a million other things that college mates do. All those times we did bicker about money a lot. This time we were all earning. We all ordered separate dishes. And not looking at prices. And then we sat around picking food, not really hungry. Seeing each other after 2 years was really fulfilling :)
• Everyone, how ever sophisticated they may be, return to their old selves in old company. I was loud, ambili was chatty, Serena still laughed a lot, Amar was pulling legs, Rahul serious as always... It was like we never left the campus. :)
• Like everyone, i too scorned the idea of getting off my tushi on a sunday morning to go to the food'n'fun, a new restaurant near college where we met. Then afterwards we were discussing to do this again in a half year or annual basis. :P
• I stayed with Di and ambu that day even though my home was only one hour away. We talked into night, me and Di, like our college days, the pillow talks with whispers and giggles and drooping eyes.

The best day indeed :)

PS: This photo is not from google. But from my college albums. It was the day after our final exams and we went on a tour to Munnar to unwind. Obviously, everyone is feeling as crazy as they look.

For The Helpless Cub

God knows i am not the most charity minded person alive. And also that i don't use my blog for the purpose. But some sights just move you too much and you feel so helpless that you want to cry. And if such profound moments of sanity does not make you charitable, may be nothing ever will.

I had one of those moments when i saw this video in TV.

(courtesy:aircel and www.saveourtigers.com)

It is pathetic that one day, mostly in near future, we would be telling our next generation how a tiger used to looked like. How magnificent an animal it was. How graceful and proud it walked. How it was in abundance. How cute the cubs looked. And how it was our NATIONAL ANIMAL. And how we looked on carelessly as it was being poached and killed one by one. And how we lost a heritage and legacy.

If you feel a heartbeat for the plight of the last of them who are left to be hunted down, join hands with www.saveourtigers.com and help their cause. Roar for them. Spread word. FaceBook it. Blog about it. Tweet it(god knows you tweet too much). And just show you care.

Lets Save This Cub!

Remembering Grandpa

Grandma is visiting. (This is mom's side. Dad's side has remarkably short life span and they say all my genes are from him. Now you know why i don't make long term plans.) So, coming to grandma, mom-grandma relationship is really filmy and its a long story. In short, they don't like each other. Mom was the daddy's girl in her family of 5 kids. So grandpa(Appoopan, as i used to call him) was quite chummy with her and when ever mom tells her childhood days, all the happy tales feature him.

Llater when mom married and had me, Grandpa came to live with us. As it was tough on mom to go to work and to juggle me, a miniature jumbo. And till i was around 2 and half, he lived with us and then he left this world.
I have no recollections of him, though everyone starts talking about him as soon as they see me. I used to be confused why it is so. I mean yes, he was my grandpa. But he has numerous other grand kids before me. So why me?
Then one day i said a curse word related to grandparents. It was quite innocent. Everyone says those so much so that its not so curse-y anymore. Mom looked at me in shock and sadness. And reproached me beyond my comprehension. Then she told me about him.

That, since the day he saw me, i was never seen anywhere except in his arms. That he used carry me around, where ever he went. That he used to play games with me. That he used to call me baby seal, as i was always rolling around in the bed.

He was a witty old man, carefree funny and jolly type. He used to play cards well and everyone teases me how i shuffle the cards like him(i am an expert shuffler), he used to fish and was rather good at it too. These were what little people tells me. He didn't brought national changes, but he loved me.
Dad, who always criticizes everything from mom's side, only speaks fondly of him, even saying that those days living with him were some of the best in his life. They even bought a dog, chief, and i don't remember him too.

Then grandpa had to go back, and soon he fell ill. When mom went to see him, (he couldn't speak then) he gestured with his left arm to ask her where i was, as i was quite a fixture on that arm for more than two years. Days later he died and i don't remember that too.

Today while we (dad mom and me) were sitting in kitchen veranda and talking about grandma's visit, mom sadly said how happy she would have been if it was him and not grandma(yeah, that sums it up) and dad also grew sad thinking of him and again said how fond he was of me and they both thought how he would have liked my brother aQQui, who looks like him. And there i was, the cherished granddaughter, the one whom he loved more than the rest and the one who knew nothing about him.

I have never missed another person more in my life.