Endless Love

Some love stories begin beautifully. Hearing them makes you want love so badly that it will hurt. But there are some love stories that are different. It will still hurt you badly.

I was talking to a new patient. [Basic case taking. They share their woes. We pretend to listen while looking for valid points to fill the case sheet.] Old lady, arthritic, very pleasant but a sadness hiding somewhere in her face.

"My husband died 6 months ago. He is a very nice man. He took extremely good care of me. He would urge me to go out every day and do something very simple like a walk. He was not so healthy, but he would still come to give me company." She smiled wistfully.
"On that day, like usual, he made me a cup of coffee. He had bought me a walking machine, treadmill. I said i am not walking, and he said he will instead of me. He walked for a few minutes. And usually after walks he would lie down for a few minutes to rest. Before lying down, he asked me to drink the coffee he bought me. He never woke up. They said it was cardiac arrest." By this time, her words were choked up and her tears were streaming down her face. And mine were brimming with tears too.

This is what i said earlier.
Some love stories begin so beautifully, it will hurt you. Some love stories end beautifully and it hurts even more. Or do they really end?

Puppy Love.

As you know, I am in a city now. Actually working here. Here the life is nice and i've made a few friends as well. One of them is a very beautiful and very nice girl from Brazil, named Barbara. Since the first day, I knew that she is brilliant and hard working, but the following incident brought to me something entirely different to my focus.

One day, in the afternoon, I was approaching the workplace and I saw this big commotion at the corner outside the clinic. I went and saw a very teary Barbara, and I was truly bewildered. What would make this seemingly strong and empowered woman cry?
I went to enquire more and I saw that she was clutching a very little and very sick stray puppy. Not to mention ugly.
She explained to me that she found him in a ditch and she just couldn't abandon him. He didn't seem to have any sibling or parents. A truely lonely soul left to die. She picked him and brought him to the clinic, where truly the raising of a dog was one thing that can get you fired. I thought of explaining this to her, but left that idea then and there.
Barbara went and brought some pedigree dog food puppies. But this puppy was even smaller for that. He hadn't weaned yet. She gave someone some money to get the dog milk daily. She said she couldn't take the dog to her homeland but wanted to do something for him as long as she was here. In a matter of days, the dog got better and was playing and prancing and doing all sorts of mischievous stuff a healthy and happy puppy is supposed to do.
In all of this happy-happy story, something was not right and someone was in a very difficult position.
Me.
Of course I am a dog lover and I wanted the best for the dog. But the problem was, if the office(a short walk away) found out that the place was harbouring and fugitive puppy, it was going to be my head under the axe (not a pretty picture.).
So I was pro adoption. Actually it was the only solution to the whole issue. Someone has to give the puppy another home. And fast.
We'd place the dog near the dog everyday evening so that some kid would take a fancy and take him in. Days passed. There were days when some boy would say he'll ask his parents and then we wont see the tail of him. We were getting a bit desperate.

Finally, yesterday a kid said if he can come a little after 4 after asking someone at home and take the dog. We shouted a very relieved "YES!". I had to leave shortly and didn't hear what happened then.

Today afternoon, like always, around 3, I said I am going to play with the dog. But then someone told me, "a boy yesterday took the dog home, you didn't hear?".
I was ecstatic. "Did anyone tell Barbara?"
"We didn't."
I ran off and told her the happy news.
"YAY!" She jumped in joy clapping hands, and swear to god, so did i. :-)
Finally, a happy ending! To all party concerned.
To the unnamed dog- Hello buddy, where ever you are, stay happy and healthy. I hope you have a loving family now, and a funny name too. And never forget Barbara, because angels work in mysterious ways.

The Cost of Being a Smartass

There are days when I am so darn proud and happy for the fact that I am street smart that I have to resist giving myself a hi5 in public. Today was not that day.
I was waiting for the bus to take me to the clinic in the morning. I was late owing to being tormented by (bitching about) Justin Beiber after seeing him back to back first thing in tv. Dont ask why I watch tv if I have to leave home early. And dont even start suggesting driving. You know why!

So I was late and rather pissed and when the bus finally arrived, I rushed and was first in the disorganised queue-huddle at the door. Yes, I always manage to be at the front, I just hate standing. People were getting off and there was this girl(13ish) who was last, and a rather mannish lady(b****) started pushing in and I had to side step so as to get this girl out alive. This took considerable time and my good deed for the day was done, so I rushed(pushed) in to salvage something for my posterior and there was this 50ish aunty sitting alone in a two seater and I went to sit down.

Aunty- this seat is taken!
Me- huh. *sitting down near hear rather forcefully* it is taken now, I guess.
Aunty- *to the daughter who was entering then* sit on the side seats!
In my defence, It was a 45 mins journey and I was going to work. And the whole time aunty passed angry glares at me and pushed me even when the bus was not passing a curve. Mean aunty!
So when I reached my destination, I got off, and sat down under the fan in clinic and sighed in relief. Nightmare over!
Except, I had no idea.

After about 10mins, receptionist came in.
R-lady: You got a patient.
Me: great, send 'em in.

Enter aunty and the girl. Yes, same aunty and same girl. My life is over.

Aunty: *half laughing and half glaring* YOU!
Me: *half scared and half guilty* you? :-S

Long story short, aunty and girl(who turned out to be her granddaughter), was coming to see me, as the girl was uh.. um.. sick.
I know. I am despicable.
In self-defence, she did not look sick. :|
Thankfully aunty did not beat me with her handbag, and after some chats, became quite friendly.
When you think something is finally over, shit will hit the fan on full speed. Again.
After asking me where my home was, she asked me if I knew a teacher who lived there.
Me: *OMG-here-it-comes face* yeah, thats my Mother.
Aunty: we know her! Very well too. She taught her*pointing at the girl*.
They very fondly took mom's number from me and went after the consultation.

Dont say anything. You cant call me something that I haven't called myself.

Doctor.. Doctor!!

Imagine you are going to visit a doctor. A cloud of different emotions hang over your head. You are afraid, hopeful, excited, calculating...

Then you go inside and what you see there?

Yes.. the doctor is Sleepy Sleeperson.

How you feel now?

Well, let me introduce my Vice.

Sleep.. which eludes me at night, has no problems appearing spontaneously in day time. Short visits. When i am inactive. These facepalm situations make maximum appearance during my work. Imagine me, doctor, with minimum patients, bored shit in afternoons, not to mention after a heavenly and heavy lunch, in summer heat, with rhythmic sound of fan... ideal situation to breed sleep, you see.

Usually life is cool. I get up when a patient tries open the door or my pharmacist calls me to inform an arrival. Or the attender brings the case sheet. I wake up and other than a clueless smile and bright eyes, nothing is amiss. That is Usual.

Then there is unusual. The attender is late. The patient is not patient(LOL) and opens my door without any formalities. The pharmacist is rapidly trying to call me...

And what can be the final nail on my coffin? Yes, me myself, in one of those mindless, deep, dream laden sleep. In which i cant hear the door, or the patient's clearance of throat, or even the phone, which is right near my ear.

Like this afternoon.

I am thinking if there were drool in the scene. Which would have been the icing on the cake. And truly, i cant even remember it.

I scrambled up.. got my wits together.. Lied that i had a headache.. Then went on with the consultation.

I will never blame her if she is not buying that medicine.

[PS: Looking back on that image, the resemblance in uncanny.]

The Doctor is In

Commuting from work is hell. So one of these days, i was waiting for bus and an auto came which was in my route and i had to auto-pool (funny :D) with a middle aged couple. The travel was silent, incident free.

And when i was nearing home, i asked the auto driver to stop.

So, something about my home. I have this board with Dr.Smalltown Girl written on the side of the short path leading to my home. This was erected in mom's insistence soon after my graduation, most likely to show off, and has gained me much ribbing from fellow college mates who travel this way and see the board.

So, as i was paying the auto driver..

Middle aged Decent looking Man(MDM): Oh, You here to the doc's house?

Me: *smiling* Yes.

MDM: Hmm, if you don't mind me saying so, there is another doctor at the next stop. Dr.KM. He is very famous.

Me: Oh i know him.

MDM: Oh. then why don't you go there?

Me: Because, i AM this doctor.

MDM: *spluttering sounds* Oh.. Sorry..I thought..

Me: Its ok. Dr.KM was my teacher at college. But OK.

As i was turning to go home, the MDM was still spluttering and the auto driver was laughing his ass off. I could't resist a smile. :)

In smalltown girl's life....

Its been long since i have written about my life. So a very unorganized and not so thorough but rather boring attempt at that..

~*~*~*~*~*~

I am working. AT LAST!!

New place, new people, new responsibilities... but sadly, staying at my parents' home makes it all less exciting.

Mom was pestering me about job since i finished studies. I don't blame her. We are not exactly Ambani or Mittal material. But some exams were making it damn hard for me to start. This lead to a lot of clashes. Between me and everyone i hold dear. So i was naturally looking for something that will take me away from the resentment. For someone who had only seen home during vacations since 11, i hoped it would be the easiest thing ever. How wrong i was!

Final line is, in younger days, when even i wished i was home, i couldn't be here and now, when i wish to be away, i just cant get out.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I tried a lot to find what i want out of life. Still haven't landed an answer. Marriage, kids etc is what is happening with every one i know. Somehow it doesn't appeal to me much. succumbing to an arranged marriage is what Indian girls from small towns do. But not every one of them think alcohol is cool or do crazy social networking or think that gay rights should be preserved.

This makes me think that it was a bad idea to think out of the box. If your fate is confined in a box, the best think is ignoring everything outside the box and get accustomed to the life in box, however ridiculous that might be. Or be prepared to be disappointed and destroyed.

But i cant change who i am. And i don't plan to. And i am prepared.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I gave up on love.

That is the only thing i have came to a conclusion in my life. Its not happening. So stopped wondering about it. That is a huge relief.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I am madly in love with social networking. Its the best fun ever. Though i am glad that my college years were not spent in long hours of orkutting or tweeting from class. Every second of those years, i was there, my friends were there. Or i would have missed chunks of memories. And i am a bit sorry for those who don't realise what they are missing out on. Go out and enjoy life too. However precious FB/orkut is.

~*~*~*~*~*~

We are under the rain attack. Rain Gods seems to be extremely pleased. A might less would have been appreciated. Its flooding here beyond limits. Clothes retain moisture, am wearing sweater(i happen to live near the tropical line), wet umbrella following me everywhere and rocky smelling like...well, dog. Its tad difficult to love rain in these circumstances. But i manage. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Nothing more.

Au revoir!

Career Orientation or Contemplation (Sounds Real Boring I Guess)

I was not selected in the last interview i went to. It was a good job, with minimum work, good payment and a lot of free time... Yet i was the happiest when it did not happen. Mom don't know i am happy, RB is quite disappointed with me, Dad, as usual don't care, Aqui was looking forward to the pocket money, so he is not happy, Di was quite amused. (This is why i say of all the people in my life, she is the only one who gets me. Even though am not that deep.)

 This job, is what i am sure i would be doing for the rest of my life, if i lived to retirement age (which i am not sure of). Its the kind of job were you have less fun, more responsibility, were you have to order around, no co workers, just assistants, you being the in-charge. I like being in charge, but not of aging adamant people. And responsibility is not my favourite trip. :|

 But i am willing to do all these, i would have to, it is the sure shot way to live a stable life, so i will do it. All i am saying is, NOT NOW! At this point of life, i am more inclined to some fun, exercising my humanitarian nature, work with people who needs me, and a job where i can do satisfying heavy work all week and go out and have fun in weekends.

So a list of potential jobs i coveted through out my life and still want to do. I will never do these, even though i am pretty good at some of these. 

1. Event Manager- Almost convinced mom to let me try this. Then again, with a merit medicine seat, who will go for event managing. Now i wish i had pursued that. :|

2. Forensic Medicine- Long story. Short version, i faint at the smell of blood and later have weird scary dreams :|

3.Criminal Detective- Not police. something like CSI. And an expert too. Actually this is the favourite. 

4.Freelance Journalist- Nothing much tempting. but i liked that freedom.

5.Restaurant Manager- Will suite me tremendously.

6.Classical Dancer- 4 years of coaching, and nothing came of it. Not that i was too bad, but situations were not favourable, esp the boarding school i went to, which i hate with a vengeance.

7.Sales Girl in a HUGE bookstall- Dream job when i was in school. Understandable, when you love to read and don't have enough pocket money to buy fancy books on shelves.

8.Makeup Artist- Still very much aspiring for this one. Trust me, am not bad. 

9.Dog Groomer- I love dogs. :)

10.Archies/Hallmark card wordings writer- Is that a job even? I was good at that too. Years of Self made card distribution and smiling friends are a testimony.

This talk is way depressing than i imagined. :( 

Why i didn't pursue my dreams?

 I hate the middle class complex which made me do something which promised a steady income than excitement. 

Still, am pretty OK with my job. Where i get to meet people and have a chance be kind, funny and smart. Its worth it. Almost.

Guys.. I Fell In Love... Unexpectedly. (Its Nothing Serious, Am Just A Drama Queen ;) )

I never thought myself to be the kind of girl who would fall in love with a 50 year old. Even though it’s hard to admit, i am the one who is crazed over the young cute chocolate boys in my friends' circle. I propound the idea of marrying the same age guy, class mate etc, and not in my weirdest dreams I think of even liking a middle aged man. Well, brain proposes and heart disposes.
This new German guy at the resort is totally hot. As my previous experiences with European men are limited only to ogling and whispering behind their backs, getting to talk to and joke with this guy was a new thing, and it didn’t hurt that he is totally charming. I met him on his first day here and then H was on holiday. The next day I was on leave and H came back. And on the third day, when i came back, i saw that i have competition as H looked totally taken with the guy and we sorta competed for the attention a bit. (If she reads this, she would disagree immediately.)
Well, he is a doctor, looks intelligent, cool and hippy-ish (in a good way). He has this small bead necklace which is really cool. Even though he is 51(aehm..) but looks younger and cooler than the 25 year olds i know. And he looks at you with his piercing eyes and its really unsettling [shite, I sound like 15 years old in her 1st crush]. It all started as the small talks and on the way greetings. Then also, this guy is the most interesting, funny and good looking man I've ever met. And please, such combination is quite hard to find. And he takes such care when he talks. He looks at you like a lady, makes you feel like you are not a little girl, yet some times pamper you as a little girl. Ah... And I tell you that he has no idea that there is a part of me who gets glassy eyed and jumpy when I see him. Well, we are good friends, and I am cent percent sure that it would remain that way and only that way. It’s only a passing fancy, yet the feeling of the youthfulness and the innocence is amazing.
Did i mention that this guy has a wife? Well, he has one. She is a very sweet lady, funny and quite a friend, and he is hmm... Totally spicy and mouth watering.


PS: Actually the thing is that, the place has a lot of awesome and sexy ladies and no men at all. And if at all a guy comes, he looks 70 and is as adorable as your grand dad. So when finally a half cute man came upon, we pounced on the chance.

PPS:we got the first prize in the pookalam competition.[ i wrote about it in the last post.] The prize is some éclairs and some regular ball point pen. What a load of crap! Looks like the front office either have no idea of what to gift, or is still sour that they lost to us. But hooray!!!

Onam This Year.

The long fight with internet provider was won yesterday night. It was started so that I could at least get to the blogger. Everyday I had so much to write and its all gone into oblivion now. Will they ever understand me?

Well, now when I think back on the past week, I don’t remember much. Now I just wanna call the damned provider and shout at them.

The last week was ONAM in kerala. Its not a temple or religious fest, it’s a family fest. [does this sound like those essays we used to write when we were 6 or something? ] Well, for short, its like thanks giving in States, with more days, fun and rituals. Well, due to the job (all the seniors get holidays, so it was me and H working) and dad’s hospital stay, I was kinda missing it all. Home Onams are always about 10 days holidays, the pookalams (floral designs on courtyard) its competition [at college and home], the delicious smell of home made fried bananas, the feast, sitting on floor and eating from banana leaves, TV specials(recent addition), kheer (and its verities).... This year, nothing. so i was really getting sad.

Then at the resort there is this floral design competition. So when our wing's chance came up, me and H were told we are to help. so we tried by downloading new designs, and coming to work early to help. but there is this rude bad-boy(not in a sexy way), who just brushed us away and went on with the stupid designs of his, and made rude comments at us for being 15 mins late all the time. (this guy is so rude that none except us came to help him,knowing him well enough.) so we got really pissed off and so we went to the office and asked them to get us another chance.

while me and H with Lee(a new friend at resort) planned the designs, went to shopping, and arranged flowers at night, it felt like ONAM. We were all working hard, tensed yet joking, fighting and laughing, the tiredness and late night works, the arguments, the sublime scent of orange flowers, the tiresome job of cutting the leaves, the offbeat songs the radio played while we did it...it was the same as it was at college. [did i mentioned that our batch were a regular winners there? No credits to me, but we were the batch who had the most fights, but also had an insuppressible urge to excel at whatever we did.]

at the end, everyone LOVED our work, even though there were serious jabs and comments which we now account for sheer jealousy, as the same guys commented on us were later found in a photo posing near it pretending to make it.[Idea acha tha.. but didn't escape us and the taunts]. the office later said ours was the best. So Yay!!!

Then there was this sadya (onam feast) at the resort, and it wasnt that good, and again i missed ONAM. On the Thiruvonam day, the beloved uncle and aunt (yeah. sooo mallu, calling elders uncle and aunt) who lives downstairs gave me this lavish sadya with 2 kheers and everything soo tasty, i again didn't missed much of onam.

And finally, i was given this one day holiday at the resort on the last day of onam and now am back at home!!! Yo baby, and here we took the new BIG TV by reliance and even though am watching more of their manual than the programs(all thanks to bro), and they are running Jodha akbar 24x7 and we are not getting any english movie channels by them, its cool. Dad is ok and we all are having so much fun plus the kheer and food items...

Yeah. Its Onam. How ever hard and different the life is, Onam will come to you on its own way. And Happy Onam to All mallus...

Finally...I made it here!!

Me and H came here and got settled into this apartment they have rented for us. It isn't anything flashy or heavenly, but we are happy with it. A bit hot but not an oven. There is a family downstairs, an Uncle and Aunty, and 2 doggies. Tommy and Tippu. (Way to honor the legendary king. actually its a popular name for Dogs here. Tommy too. But 'this Tommy' is a girl and the smart one. She is cute). The family turned out to be a distant relation of H and so we are getting all this free stuffs like sweets and chocolates, kettle, coffee mate etc. So all is ok here.

We have food at the Resort. Its buffet everyday, every meal. Honestly, they have spoiled all the magic of buffet for me with in 2 days. Actually i think its too much pressure on the taker. All this brain work and shuffling in front of dishes, fuming the brain about 'to take or not to', the worries on taste, questioning the boys on everything, looking at the end table when starting, keeping all the bubbling urge to discuss every fish with H bottled within me...... it all is too much. How uncomplicated is ordering a meal and having obscene and loud discussion with your friends, commenting the cute waiter etc at your own table..

The guests who visit this resort is 90% ladies from Germany Swiss and Austria. (yeah boys, all the hot europen girls. I know everyone of you will fight to be in my shoes.) And NO MEN! thats sad. absurd. tragic. outrageous. All those Cute European Boys, rush to this Resort. Now!

The resort looks really nice. see some pics i have clicked.


The work isn't much and it isnt indecent. So i am cool with it. And having H with me helps a lot. Those things on with i would have worried a hell of a lot if i were alone seems serious laughing calls now with H. And boy, we laugh a lot.

All about the work fun later.

Preview- A compulsive talker as the Boss, The German girl's insights on indian woman. And how laughing near a myopic patient can get into trouble.

Off I Go...To The BEACH..

Dear friends... I got a job!!! Well, it’s not my first, yet.
The first was a small job near home, with minimal payment, which i resigned for a better job in a big town. The second one, the one for which I dropped the 1st one, was a posh one, albeit tough, but the problem started when i was told that a bond kinda thing was required of me. i wrote about it all in here. I totally flipped off and resigned and came back home. Then i was sitting home idly 6 days a week and doing a training course for my post grad on Sundays. But life is really tough when you are broke. How supportive your parents may be(they are paying for the course!), you will feel like shit when you have to get money from them for things like phone recharges or cosmetics. So i really wanted to have a job.
Let me also tell about two of my friends here. The first one is H, she is a very beautiful girl with very good heart and a little bit crooked brain(weired combination. i know!). We were friends from my 1st day at college. Even before me, she got a job at a pioneer institution. She joined and just because she was junior, she was loaded with work and then it got out of hand when she didn’t even had time for lunch, so, exactly after 1 week, she resigned and came back home. Then there is Di, she resigned her job last week (yey!! I so wanted her to drop it and do MD!). So there is 3 of us, resigning soon after joining, it was quite embarrassing. Even our moms make fun of each of us.

Then through a friend of mine (he is a friend I got through ORKUT and now I call this friend my MONSTER [.INC] as he is my consultant in professional matters), was offered this job at this beach resort. I was asked if I have any other friend who was interested in the job, so I asked H and she said yes.(Di lives far away and won’t be interested in a job that will take her away from home and her fiancé when her wedding is scheduled in October.)

We both start there this Sunday!! So we are super excited about it and we both hope we would not run back home a second time. I only saw the resort once, its super beautiful, has a beautiful beach, (me and H are both beach freaks, I more so) also has many cottages and palm trees and garden....it looks really divine. We both joined as consulting physicians, so work id moderate, so I hope we have time and energy to study. And i hope we have enough cute foreign guys to ogle at.

I will write about the resort and my life there later, and I will upload some pictures too...