Politricks

The summer is damn hot. But you know what is hotter? Politics. The elections are upon us, and as the child of two local political parents, life is hell. Some snippets off it:

*****

Mom: Molu, make some lemonade.

Me:Yes ma. *scrawling*

Mom: Molu, some tea. 2 suger-less.

Me:*scrawling* Yes amma.

Mom: Can we get some lunch order in short notice?

Me:*scrawling* I was working at a Tea-shop, i will be making as much tea and lemonades, and they will be paying me to do so.

Mom: *scrawling*

*****

Mom is really into baseless slander, as they do in politics.

Mom: The opposition candidate is a Prof at a college. He can get a decent income by just working. He is doing politics only because he get more from it.

Me: Ma, you are a retired govt employee. With handsome pension. If you work in politics, does it mean that you get some cash from there?

Mom: *ANGRY* You don't know anything! For all i know, you will go and vote for him.

Me: *hiding*

*****

Mom: *after a day of running around and getting home at dusk* Where is the soap in the bathroom?

Me:In the bathroom outside. Dad took it.

Mom: Get it for me na?

Me: Now? Am watching cricket!

Mom: Am so tired, i cant walk that much.

Me: *getting up* its only 10 steps!

Mom: *after bath* *on call* Yes Jaya, we need to arrange that room by tonight.

Mom:Un huh. I know. I am coming too. Lets get some help and arrange all the chairs.

Me: :O You cant go to bathroom outside! and you are going to arrange chairs? *scrawling*

*****

Dad: I joined politics for your Mom.

Mom: ...'s destruction.

Dad:I am leaving the party.

Mom: I dont think i will be that lucky.

Dad: I dont think i am coming to the meeting tonight.

Mom: That is because i am getting a seat in stage and you are sitting in audience.

Dad:I am not jealous!

Me and Bro: Yes, you are!

*****

Bro: Ma, rocky likes your candidate.

Mom: Gr8! How so?

Bro: Your election symbol is the palm na? He did pasted his own on that poster of the candidate.

Mom: :-/

*****

It had been crazy mayhem. With mom and dad being too busy and house getting cluttered with Request sheets and posters and a lot of men i wish i would never have to see again.

But in their old age(mom and dad are 60) i think its the feeling of being wanted and the thrill of doing something is what keeps them so energetic and happy. And as long as they are happy, i am happy too.

Though i am still not decided on whom to vote.

Don't tell mom!

Adult Talks- Mono and Polygamy

[Adult talks while by no means explicit, deals with serious topics i don't usually discuss in this blog. Family and friends, get the hell out now. You are still reading, aren't you?]

[Cross-posted at Seriously Saying]

I was reading a book in which the characters were in an open relationship. Together and separate. Since it was a book series and the first book featured them in a closed relationship, this new open sex disturbed me a whole lot and got me thinking about the issue a lot.
Is monogamy so overrated? Can humans be happy in a monogamous relationship? And since the majority of the relationships that we see are closed and monogamous (at least to us and their partners), are we pretending to be happy while monogamous?

When i did the research (means i read wiki), i found that only 7% of mammals were monogamous. There are roughly 5500 mammals. You do the math. This means the majority of upper crest of the living beings on the earth prefer to diversify their sexual choices. Interestingly, 90 percent of birds are mammals. No wonder they call the ladies, birds.So what does this mean for us humans? Are we really monogamous? Or are we restricting ourselves by social boundaries and hiding our true sexual appetite? Many of the scientists and other anthropologists believe that humans are actually polygamous. This polygamy does not mean the Mormon polygamy, where there are more than two sexual partners, but it is still a closed relationship. But here it means the literal word. Many sexual partners. Since the website airs my views, i am not going into the ‘anthropologists says’ part. But to my own.
Humans differ from other animals in a verity of things, including a large number of emotions and the control over them. We feel deeply for the things that we consider our own. We don’t give up easily. And we definitely have a possessive mind and emotional attachment.
I don’t believe that humans are meant to be polygamous. We can have a real game picking the one mate that suits our mental and physical needs, but that is that. I think its absurd to play around after that to destroy what you have with your partner. There consensual partners who are open to each other straying, alone or together. They might have a lot of fun and good times in the meanwhile. But i am doubtful about it working in a long run.

The thing is, when animals mean sex as a reproductive method, humans mean sex as way to connect with each other and show their affection. That is why we do more sex than that to ensure progeny. Thats why we do birth controls. Thats why there exists homosexuality in humans as a life long relationship mode, where as in animals, when it exists, it is another way of showing dominance. The emotion humans invest in sex is the reason polygamy has the chances to fail. When ever there is sex, there are increased chances that you might get attached to the person who is not your partner. Since we humans do so much for love, it is likely that you are going to go beyond the boundaries for the new person, thus destroying the initial relationship you had.
Polygamy, in a careful form gets you a lot of enjoyment and thrill. But it might make you distant and alone if you are trying hard to stay unattached. If you are in an open, no holds barred relationship, it can go even better, but it can also grow sour. There is nothing that destroys a relationship faster than jealously and possessiveness.

Can humans stay happily monogamous is another question. We are easily swayed people. Our eyes are always drifting. While looking is not an error, cheating definitely is. I believe that when we want, we can stay faithful to one person, if that is the right person. If your partner/spouse engages your mind and thoughts and fantasies, why you need to look outside? But while in an otherwise wholesome, but sexually incompatible relationship, your choice to stay monogamous might feel constricting to you.
When i am not a prude as this talk might make me sound like, i would any day prefer monogamy, since human minds and their connections are fragile, and i believe they are to be treasured.

[PS: i got a new blog at wordpress called Seriously Saying. I made it to say few points i would rather not say here in my family friendly blog. I might cross post not so offensive to thou sensitive eyes topics from time to time where as that would comprise of all the articles in the AdultTalks tag and some more. * fingers crossed *]

post note:

Why I hate MFPA

You haven't heard of MFPA?

Mouth and Foot Painting Artists? Well, apparently, this is a group of handicapped people who paints with their mouth and foot. And thus, this association provides them a monthly salary and all and then they live happily ever after.

How is it any concern of mine, you ask? Good question darling.

This year they sent me a few of their paintings in card form. Its free. I can use it as greeting cards and sent it to whom ever i please. Awesome, right? Total win-win!

Wrong.

The catch is that, i have to send them money for it if i want to. IF I WANT TO. Like i am the salazar slytherin who doesn't take pity on the poor peoplewho don't have hand and foot. See, if i were more practical, i would've avoided this and put the whole thing behind me in a flash. But i bet they didn't had that in mind when they chose me to slaughter.

The thing is, unlike the MFPA guys, i don't earn much money. I don't even have regular income. I am, like any other practitioner, trying to establish a practice, and there are days when i earn a lot. And there are days when i don't. I like think that my life is like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's. You know that story.

So the thing is, when people send me abso-fucking-lutely beautiful cards, i pay for them. I have to. And i even though they kinda dragged me into the middle of this, i am going to.

What i want is, i want you all to go to their website.

MFPA

Join their newsletter program or just buy a few paintings. Its gorgeous and you are helping someone.

If you want to help more people, you can send ME money. *batting lashes*

Just drop a line and i am so going to get in touch. I take checks or credit cards or free food. :P

And these are some cards they sent me.

What Lasts Forever

I have been watching Brothers and Sisters from ABC these days. A lot. Yeah, its a soap opera, and i should be thinking of spending my time more worthily.. Yada yada.. I know! Lets just say Luke Macfarlane is one awesome piece of ass. Literally.

But we are here today for a bit more serious talk. I was watching this show and i came across this beautiful piece of dialogue. Read it. You'll love it, i promise.

Situation: Kitty is trying to get pregnant but is failing at it and she is not considering adoption that her husband is suggesting. She is discussing this with her elder sister.

Kitty: Do you remember the time that you came to New York and I took you out for Indian food?
Sarah: How could I forget? Seven months pregnant(with Cooper). It was hotter than hell, the worst heartburn of my life.
Kitty: I remember touching your stomach when we went back to my apartment and Cooper was practically doing somersaults and I just thought how…weird. And how beautiful. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on. I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop wanting that.

Sarah: Kitty, you remember the somersaults. I remember the heartburn. You know what Cooper remembers? Nothing. There are no guarantees. In the end, the only thing that matters is that there's a child. And that lasts forever.

I am writing this in the context that i have many friends who are trying to be parents and are failing due to various reasons. Many of them are under treatments and monitoring and what-not for this. And none of them are considering adoption as an option.

Procreation is one of the biggest business in India. The hospitals overflowing with couples giving birth to fourth and fifth and more times on one side and on the other side is couples trying to get pregnant, in every way possible, with every latest technology in the field. Everyone who has been married for a few months are asked by every random people they meet about the state of their progeny. So i get the pressure behind trying to get pregnant and then when you fail, rushing to a hospital do every possible checkups and then doing everything possible to conceive. Spending a lot of money so that you can also feel the joy of loving a child and having loved in return.

But on the other hand, this is also the country with the most number of orphans in streets and government institutes. Its also one with high rates of infanticide. Every day we read stories of children being found in dumpsters and roadsides. We read it and pass it off with an exclamatory curse at the mother who did that. And we never think about that child again. Even though you have a power to give him or her a life. Even though you need him or her as much as they need you.

So, if you are a couple trying to be parents and is desperately knocking every door for that, consider adoption as an option. I can understand your need to procreate something that is your flesh and blood. But in the end, does it matter? In the end, there will be a child, whom you loved and brought up and who loves you as much right back. And that's what lasts forever.

Tying the Wrong Knots

I will site here two situations. You can tell me the difference in the comment section.

Situation One

*phone rings*

Person1(P1): Hello.

P2:Hello, i am calling after seeing an ad in paper.

P1: Yes, We did put an ad. Its for my daughter. Who is talking?

P2:I am the boy's father. Where is your proper place?

P1: We live in %%%%. Me and wife are retired now. This is our only child.

P2: What is your caste?

P1: XXXX. We assume you are too?

P2: Yes. I and wife both are. We have a younger girl too. She married a guy from the same caste.

P1: What does the boy do?

P2: He did BBB course, now works in TTT company. He earns NN per an

num. Well settled. He has his own flat there. And he is up for a promotion real soon.

P1: Well, thats great. So will you send a kundli so that we can go see the pundit?

P2: Oh yes. Soon. Then we'll meet you people if all goes right.

P1:I hope so too. If everything works as good as we hope, we dont want to delay anything.

P2: We dont, too. Its all for the kids' betterment. Why delay, eh?

P1: Ha ha. yeah. So i will tell you the address now..

P2:....

Situation Two

P1: Hello sir.

P2: Ah kaka, this maal you have looks good.

P1: Yes Sir, She is young, tender meat, ripe for plucking sir.

P2: Hmm. This was exactly what we were looking for. All tests done na?

P1: Yes sir. The doctor's certificate is here. See. If you like this i will get this to your home by tomorrow morning.

P2: Hmm. Make it day after tomorrow. Some people are coming to see my daughter. We are making mutton biriyani. So you cut it in the size for that.

P1: This is one excellent goat sir. Tender meat. Perfect for the biriyani.

P2: So, how much for the goat?

P1:...

Both these are not a rare conversations in modern India. On a second thought, the latter one is rarer than than the former. What does that say about the progressive, ready to embrace the world, youth powered India?

I can go on and talk a day about the injustice of it all. But the system is not going to change. Its not the girl, its not the boy.

So i am just keeping a cynical face on it.

For The Helpless Cub

God knows i am not the most charity minded person alive. And also that i don't use my blog for the purpose. But some sights just move you too much and you feel so helpless that you want to cry. And if such profound moments of sanity does not make you charitable, may be nothing ever will.

I had one of those moments when i saw this video in TV.

(courtesy:aircel and www.saveourtigers.com)

It is pathetic that one day, mostly in near future, we would be telling our next generation how a tiger used to looked like. How magnificent an animal it was. How graceful and proud it walked. How it was in abundance. How cute the cubs looked. And how it was our NATIONAL ANIMAL. And how we looked on carelessly as it was being poached and killed one by one. And how we lost a heritage and legacy.

If you feel a heartbeat for the plight of the last of them who are left to be hunted down, join hands with www.saveourtigers.com and help their cause. Roar for them. Spread word. FaceBook it. Blog about it. Tweet it(god knows you tweet too much). And just show you care.

Lets Save This Cub!

Slumdog bashing- my take

Blah Blah Blah... For the past 2 weeks all i am hearing is about slumdog millionaire. Good Bad Praise Bash....in TV, news paper, internet and even from people..
Before starting, i watched the film and enjoyed it. Then again i do enjoy every other film. And i think that this film has too much antagonism in it but it also holds hope and love.
And every one who is singing the praises, have you even for a moment, thought of reading the bloody book? or even an excerpt of it (which i did, sadly, as the book is not available in my town and i don't trust amazon), which is enough to banish the basic idea of the movie to the most hateful corners in your mind.

Vikas Swarup's spectacular debut novel opens in a jail cell in Mumbai, India, where Ram Mohammad Thomas is being held after correctly answering all twelve questions on India's biggest quiz show, Who Will Win a Billion? It is hard to believe that a poor orphan who has never read a newspaper or gone to school could win such a contest. But through a series of exhilarating tales Ram explains to his lawyer how episodes in his life gave him the answer to each question.
Ram takes us on an amazing review of his own history -- from the day he was found as a baby in the clothes donation box of a Delhi church to his employment by a faded Bollywood star to his adventure with a security-crazed Australian army colonel to his career as an overly creative tour guide at the Taj Mahal.
Swarup's Q & A is a beguiling blend of high comedy, drama, and romance that reveals how we know what we know -- not just about trivia, but about life itself. Cutting across humanity in all its squalor and glory, Vikas Swarup presents a kaleidoscopic vision of the struggle between good and evil -- and what happens when one boy has no other choice in life but to survive.

I am not saying that my country is all beautiful, where nothing goes wrong, has no corruption etc.. Of course we have here hindu muslim riots, child labour, child prostitution, slums, rape, hero worship, gang wars, gangsters etc. But don't you thing it is too much of a coincidence that every awful thing out there is happening to this boy JAMAL? (In the Book his name was at least Ram Mohammad Thomas and he wouldn't have seen his mother being killed at 5 years of age, being an orphan.)
And SLUMDOG? What sort of word is slumdog? Ah! forget it!
How many times in a KBC episode you have seen Amitabh Bachchan or Shah Rukh Khan making fun of a contestant for coming from poor circumstances, and the audience laughing with them? I have never seen it. Don't you think its all a bit too dramatic? And then, we call our filmmakers Dramatic.
How do you think a child who saw his mother's murder, stole from train passengers daily, got beaten by TTR, abused by many many people, started lying and accompanied thievery in teenage to remain innocent in life? Not to covet money (2 crore at that too) and only to want the love of his life? Is he for real? Do they even expect people to swallow that?
How many times has the KBC been aired live? Forget this too. Its a MOO point when compared to the other ones which are as big as Antarctica.
Then again, during a live show, is it possible that the person the whole nation is watching is handed over to police on the grounds of suspected trickery when the show is to shoot the next day? Do they not expect him next day to look fine? Do they expect him not to talk about it once the show is over, if he wins or loses? 

All these and other loop holes can be understood. It is a work of fiction and its not God who wrote it. Its a good tale with good(not great) soundtrack and immaculate technical perfection. And its as masaledar as a cheap porn film featuring cherry red lip stick wearing aunties doing it with dangly men in deserted forest.(Have seen it, quite disgusting.)

Of course when you see it as yet another movie churned to spin coins, it is acceptable. Can be called good too.(the technical side should count for something.) But when we view it as the OSCAR winner (if Oscar is count as the recognition for the ultimate excellence in cinema, which i don't, not anymore!) or as the portrait of metro india, in the eyes of the world, Jeez, gimme a break! 

Is India the only country with slums? and child prostitution? and gang wars? and all the other things that happen to Jamal... No we are not. But i am not contradicting making such a film in India. We are 3rd world. These things happen here. And 50% of our people is under the poverty line(which is a very questionable line coz,in my school my BPL friends used to come in private cars after holidays while i  went in hired ambassadors). 

But what i have a problem with is telling that this is INDIA'S FILM and gleefully dancing over it as our country won the bloody Oscar!! It is a BRITISH film for Pete's sake! A film which didn't even released in India with the foreign release. We can't take credit and pounce around for a film which shot in India. Then there was an Indian part for the "Curious Case of Benjamin Button" too. 

We cant forget this film for getting an Oscars for our talented Mr. Rehman and Pookutty. And that is the only ehsaan they have on us. And we let them shoot a film here, not minding the consequences it will bring to the tourism industry and the defaming that will do us, and it got them an Oscar too. That is our EHSAAN on the british!!

The question is,who does arranged marriages?

Every third advertisement in TV these days is Shaadi.com or Simplymarry.com and even Secondshaadi.com(which, believe it or not, is not affiliated with Shaadi.com. My foot,who cares??) 

The country which is progressing with the speed of Japan's bullet trains, its nice to know that we still follow some traditions. Even though the Nx Gen in India is in a rush to embrace the western culture, The number of people registered in such sites is alarming. The rate with which the number of of matrimonial sites are increasing, it seems that either the youngsters in this country are trusting computers than their heart to find the most compatible girl/boy(that's going superhuman..woohoo!) or are too lazy  to take the time and effort make a girl/boy fall in love with him/her. The second one seems to be the obvious. 

What sort of idiots would search for their life partner in a website? Middle class? Upper class? Big town? small town? Metro? Rich? Poor? Hot? Hideous? Apparently every tom dick and harry is there. 

How do i know? I am there too.

Not my choice i tell you. Mom is obsessed. A girl unmarried at 26 in a metro is a bit alarming. Then pray think about small town. 

To save myself from being shipped to the hands of geeky lazy bums, all i could do was fill all the columns with 100% original data, which mom didn't checked and is thankfully enough to scare away aspiring life partners. Actually i don't think even 10% people there is filling in their correct hobbies and time passes. Then all girls wouldn't cook well and all boys wouldn't love adventure.

What ever happens, even i die a spinster, am not going to have an arranged marriage. Now all i need to do is drill some sense into mom, which is divinely difficult. *sigh*

Ah Men Are Not From Mars, Can Be From HELL Or Any Other Place Worse Than That! [Harbouring A Strong Sence Of Feminism Now.]

My goodness! Managing work, studies and blogging is tough. How do people do that?? Someone experienced, tell me!! 

The last post was all crap talk on my so called LURVE!! Well, as always, it didn’t worked for me and I am out of it and functional as fast as a bullet train. Man, I am so cheap! I guess time is a guilty party here as I don’t get much to be mushy n moody. Well, my "old" lover is an old tale now, and we went on to became very good friends, more so with his wife (girl friend actually, but he said wife first as he knew about India and the small towns). 

 

This post am dedicating to social issues. Not HUGE ones, but small, like manners and being a good citizen.

 

Today morning, to get to my work place before 9am, I had to catch a direct bus at 6.45 am. As I only reached the bus station at 7 ( I was never a morning person, never will be!), I missed it. The next bus I wasn’t so sure about, so I caught a short distance one, which would get me to a township from where I can get a straight one. This was a 20 minutes journey, and as it was Monday and morning, bus(karnikaa KL 10 AA 5250)  was relatively full. I saw a row of 3 seats reserved for ladies occupied by a lady, her hubby, a child and an aged man who can be a parent of either one (who cares!). So I politely (I am usually not so polite in early mornings, today I was!) asked him to please give me and a senior lady the seat. The guy started talking n playing with his son, the elder man started staring ahead and the lady, was so attracted to the scenery (yeah, right) on roadside. So i waited patiently till the conductor came to me, and asked him if it was possible that he can get me these seats. Then he said its ok and in a hurry, went to the back of bus (it was a feat, considering the crowd) all the while pretending to write tickets. And he totally ignored me. I started seeing red and once again asked them to stand up (this time, I tell you, I wasn’t so nice). Then also they ignored me and when i persisted, they told me that the conductor got them those seats and promised them that they will be seated till the end. By this time, i was nearing the end of my journey and i still had all mind to call highway police [9846100100] and get the conductor in some serious trouble. I  so wanted to. But i had to reach work place at 9, so it was quite impossible if ran after this. I know i should have done something. I cannot make such idiotic excuses and let people get away with crimes. Still I haven’t forgiven myself. And next time, am gonna do it, even if that’s the last thing i would do in my life.

What i wanted to say was that, don’t we have any custom and manners any more? When we were younger, did our mothers (or someone) taught us what we should do and shouldn’t do in life? Simple things like 'do not throw waste in road' to sacrificial things like 'leave your seat for old, pregnant and ladies carrying children'. Do men these days don’t know how to respect woman, or be a good citizen or to help a weaker person or just abide a bloody law?

 What i was so sad about was that, they had a boy aged 4 or 5 with them. What sort of example does his father sets for him? When he grows up, will he feel guilty when he sits in a seat and an elderly man stands? I bet he wouldn’t.

I hate to see men like that. That’s the only time i feel the adrenaline release in my blood. I am so glad that my brother does all that s good. The one important thing i would certainly want from my future soul mate is to be respectful to fellow citizen and have some decency in life. I swear i cannot respect a man without that quality! Never!!

This is a pic i clicked on the bus. You can see the "ladies" mark and you can see that I’ve to be standing to manage such a photo!