Living it up in summer..

I live in Coimbatore, one of the most hottest and driest places in south India. So of course i have a lot to talk about living it up here.
I decided i am going to do a pic post to show what all i did this summer..
All the pictures, courtesy my SE Xperia Live [or SE Coconut. Dammit.] And my instagram.

The Setting

It was frikkin hot, my first summer away from kerala, [which is not so cool too, but is home]. It was melting the fat off your body hot. 

But the nights are breezy and cool in Coimbatore. So that was a relief. 

There is a lot of flowers. Enjoyed them...

Things I Did

 Shopping.....

 Icecream getaways.. This with my friend, Silvia. 

 Read books galore, which are pretty much indoor activity.

 Went out to eat...Yumm..

Went stir-crazy and did pretty lame stuff like drawing on my hand. :-/

Stuff to do to make the best of the summer..
      

Keep water bodies in home with flowers in it, it looks very stylish and smells divine and is super cooling.

    Ahha, drink loads of water... You gonna need it to look cute and feel cool.

 

Have light food, and move to rice predominant diets, because its cooling. [This is the ayurveda doctor in me talking. Ignore her if you are not into it. I do.]

Go for some cooling ayurveda [or other] therapies like my friend Tyasha did.. This one is Sirolepam, gooseberry pasted with buttermilk on head. Imagine the coolness. She looks so happy..

Some other random stuff that happened..

 This one is just for fun. Umm, the ice cream was cool.

 Big guy here, was visiting our place for a festival. I dont envy him, for his lack of sweat glands, which keeps us cool.

AND..

OOH.. One of the biggest things i did this summer was getting Engaged.. This was my engagement trousseau. Isn't it pretty?

So.. Living Up The Summer... Pretty much lived it huh?

Hmm, its one more month..

Things i would love to do...With Elena, the girl who looks way out of my league. 

Going to the Beech...In the evening of course, the noon sun in Indian beeches are horrendous. And sitting there watching the waves and enjoying the salty breeze....This one has my friend H with me. 

Have me some summer rains.... Ahha.. And enjoy the seeping cold at night.

Of course going out and enjoying the sun while it lasts, because, its raining next month, in which any kind of outing will be impossible. 

Enjoying all the cool drinks while I can, cause, next month, rain and then all the drink i would want will be a coffee or hot chocolate. [This is one pic which is obviously not mine]

Must Do..

And if you have any love for your complexion at all, go for the Lakme line of sun protection while doing all these. I hear its great and is SPF 5O. Which is i fear what my Coimbatore sun needs. Because, who wants look like a baked turkey after any fun you had these days? 

Elena here. And i don't wanna post my picture next to her in fear of ruining the whole spread.

So, Adios, Amigos.

See you soon. 

Yes, there is a big news.
Yes, its what you think it is.
Yes, really.
Yes, i am nervous as hell, i even had IBS.
No, IBS was not easy, the worst days of my life. Thank God its over now.
Yes, i am afraid more every day.
No, nothing is solid fixed, no dates etc.
No, it will not be so far.
Yes, You are invited, of course.

Yes, i hope it will all turn up good too.
*fingers crossed*

Friend-cheating And Other Vices

Can you cheat on a friend? If not, what is this guilt i am feeling that i shouldn't at any case feel?

So, i went out today. It was a beautiful Sunday, clear sky and and rather cold weather. I had made plans with Barbara (you remember Barbara, right? The dog lady), accompanying her on her shopping trip, which was incidentally to Bhima Gold and Precious stones. [I admit it. I love gold. I love the shine, the intrinsic artwork and the beauty of it. I love how it makes one pretty. And i love how confident the yellow metal makes you. Fuck it, i love how it is actually a status symbol some despises, but secretly craves. There, one of my vices.]

So, we went to Bhima, then to another handicraft store, which had good but seriously overpriced products. Lets face it. Barbara is a foreigner. But she is from Brazil, which is not much richer than India. And she came to study here, not shop and enjoy the sights. And Indians are waiting with sharpened scalpels to cut off from any non-Indian that actually wants to shop here. It made me little angry and a lot ashamed. And then i had a fight with the shop guy. [That is another vice. I hate when people push on low quality things and demand four times the original price and act like i am too stupid to understand the goodness of it. Fuck you. And i hate more when someone try to cheat my friends.] Barbara had to interfere. Hmmph. I am still pissed.

Then we went to Hot Chocolate. The hot chocolate was delicious, but it was like dropping 1kg wet cement in my stomach. That heavy. And then she bought me a chocolate brownie. [This is the third vice. I can never, to save my life, say NO to chocolate. Even if i am full of stuff, i will still have space for a little more chocolate.]

The thing was, we both enjoyed the trip immensely. It was nice, walking around, commenting on guys and assorted things you see on the street (seriously our taste in men makes us opposites. I like foreign boys and we came across two, who, in my opinion were too pretty and most probably gay and i literally blushed, whereas she pointed a very ordinary next-door-joe at the coffee shop and said he was so hot and i was like, what is wrong with your eyes, woman?], and bad mouthing this mutual friend, and this was the most fun i had in a long long long time out with anyone. The last time i had this much fun was may be when i went out with Di on one of our Calicut movie trips.

So after it was all over, i kinda felt sad that i enjoyed these thing which I and Di shared, with someone else. Di goes out a lot now, with her hubby, in TVM and in Mumbai, but its not the same because he is not her best friend, i am and it is not the same. I missed the old carefree me who would wander around with her. Yeah. This makes no sense. I know.

Di is Di no one is ever going to replace her in my life. Though i honestly wish that Barbara would stay here, (bring her cat, whose name is Tofu and her boyfriend, who is this tattooed up Biker looking nice guy), and i am absolutely sure that if they ever meet, Di and Barbara would love each other at first chat, as their common things begin at their imperfect but cute English.

Ah, may be in a parallel universe.

Rehab

I am the kind of person who, if i were living in a country any less morally uptight that India, would have done some really shitty things and ended up in a rehab. And not the cool kind the Hollywood things go to. And since i live in the morally uptight India, i am not a alcohol/drug/anything addict. Yet i manage to go to a rehab.

Why?

Food.

To cut the story short, i am obese and before i make some really shameful Guinness record like 'the youngest person to die of heart attack'(Oh wait, some stupid 10 year old kid already got that. F***) I checked myself(more like my family and extended family forced me to) into a facility that will monitor my diet and hopefully make me a better eater. Damn, a better NON-eater.

Basically its just eating some fruits from time to time and a lot of water. And i think i am doing pretty well. Even though i occasionally have dreams of masala chicken and chocolate cookies.

So all you pretty people, watch what you eat and stay healthy while i curb my insane love for edible things.

Vishu Kaineettam!

Ah, Vishu.

You know all about it if you were reading this for an year or so. But if not, its a Farming related mallu festival which begins with a delightful view in morning to begin the season ominously, followed by getting(or giving) some pocket money to youngsters, and then a fab lunch and some tv time which can be replaced by an afternoon nap.

As usual I make the Kani, which looked awesome. (Go me!)

(Click on it to view in a bigger size.)

Then there was the Kaineettam, aka pocket money. Mom and dad gave me and i gave bro. So it was a marginal profit for me where as brother totally aced it. :(

Then came the sadya or the awesome feast. Mom made the dishes, i made the Kheer, which turned out better than usual. Since usual is good, better means, oh yeah!. ;) Lunch spent withOUT talking politics, thank you lord.

Then came the afternoon nap. You know how the dog has been sort of not-so chummy with me? I went and laid a mat in a side room and lied down with a book to read. After a while Rocky came, after his feast, and he sort of lied down next to my feet for the cool floor and the cool temperature inside. I didn't see this and when i turned, my leg hit him and he got up and went outside. Did i mentioned that he hates crackers? Well, neighbors burst something and he came back and after a while i too slept. With Rocky at my foot.

However nice it was, now my brother have an embarrassing picture of me and the dog, sleeping on the same side. :-/ Which i will never post anywhere. :|

Then came evening and the IPL. Yes, i watch IPL, but mainly the Knight Riders matches and from this season, the Kochi Tuskers matches. And last day there were one each. The first one, Knight Riders won comfortably. Then came the tuskers match. They haven't won anything till now and the opponents were Mumbai Indians, the mighty. They posed a mighty score, with a Sachin century, and what we did?? We won!! YAYYYY!!!! Totally my day. \m/

Feels like this year will be massive. Lets wait and see, shall we?

Have an awesome year ahead, you! Yes, you. Don't you know how amazing you make me feel by reading this blog? :)

Rickety Rocky

As you know, Rocky is my very handsome, rather temperamental, much loved German shepherd dog who is 4 years now. As our longest lasting dog, he is totally ingrained to our life. We don't leave him alone, even cancelling trips and visits.

The dog obviously love my mom. She is the one who gets him the food, so no surprises there.

He loves my brother like something crazy. He only sees him when he comes from hostel. And they have some sorority-brother thing going on. The dog is all over him when he is home. Rocky, who lives in the dog-house and rarely enter the house when he is out, is sneaking in when ever aQQui is home. Yeah, the dog loves him pretty fierce.

The dog almost hates dad. Well, dad is not the most dog-friendly person in the world. He don't do caress and massages. His general show of affections will leave you painful.

Then there is ME. Usually i come after Mom and Bro and waaaay above Dad. I guess i am not that fascinating. I get him snacks and chocolates when i go out. I sneak him biscuits and everything, so he likes me fine.

Or used to. Now i think he hates me.

It all started with the Summer. Its hot and sweaty and he scratches. And thus injures himself. Then this slowly grow and before it gets really out of control, someone has to find it and apply some medicine. The medicine is generally a flea repellent plus antiseptic. As you guessed, it burns when you apply it.

And in case of Rock, i do it. Me being in health care makes everyone think that i am the personal doc of the Dog.

Whenever dog gets any health issues its me who end up feeding him pills the size of USBs and apply whatever that needs applying. Do you still wonder why he hated me now?To the dog, i am synonymous with pain, burning, awfully shoveled tabs into his mouth, cheating him by covering the same tabs in stuff like jam....

This time the wound is fierce and he hates me as much. To a point he avoids me, runs in the opposite direction and generally not approaching me for petting. And he barks. At me. And looks really angry.

Well, i thought it was for the betterment of the dog and i would take one for the team. I know somewhere inside his brain he still got feelings for me. (GSDs are the 3rd most intelligent dog in the world.) But however much i am fine, it hurts so bad when he barks at me and avoids me. I never thought my dog's feelings would matter much, but it does.

You know what will hurt more? One of these days he is going to plan a surprise attack on me with improved guerrilla tricks and modern technology. And i would talk about it of i survive the ordeal.

Till then, Adios!

Keep yourself in the good grades of your dog.

He loves you, but he can overpower you in a flash.

While I was not Blogging...

So... Where was i???
The same smalltown_girl, who was dead on blogging crazy over this year and was doing just that for the sheer joy of pestering you guys was not so at it lately. Why? A gripping question indeed.

1. World cup- As you all know, India is playing semi today. With Pakistan. Sheer pressure match. Since someone said over twitter that no one will blog today, I had to. Swimming against tide and all. Its the slog overs now. I had been watching it while tweeting. Have to say it. Twitter makes every celebration double. Its a funny ride and I urge everyone who like cricket to it. So this match. While I got tensed and got off twitter, India played well, so the Superstitious Me is not tweeting anymore. Anything for the team.

2. I had been reading this book series. Special Forces. I wont recommend it to anyone. But it has been an absolutely wonderful ride. I am amazed that I did daily functions at all, let alone blogging. And as a promise to myself, gonna read more action and less romances. Word.

3. Now good news. A press has accepted my synopsis for a short story in an anthology. Awesome na? Well, now they need to accept the story. Hmm. Its on works and you, cross your fingers for me.

Thats all for now. Am jumping all over the house finding spots to sit that'll win the match.
Yes, am crazy. But you all love me anyway.
Have to say, I love you more.

Belated Birthday Bag

One of the past few days i got this from Di....

My very belated birthday gift.

But its all good. She waited till she went to the mighty Mumbai to visit her hubby to buy me the present. After bitching how pricey the Mumbai shops are. Hmmph.

After i got the gift and immensely liked it, i called her.

Me: Got the gift. Awful bag!

Di: I too thought so. Well, its a done deal.

Me: :O What is with you? I loved it. I was kidding! The bag is so me!

Di: Thats what i thought too.. Its not the awesomest bag, but it is so you.

Me: Thanks. But what is with the card?

Di: What?

Me: Some cutey-cutey thing? I thought you only sent me funny or emo cards.

Di: Oh yeah, last year when i sent that awesome birthday card na, i bought 2 more to save another visit. But ya know, i do these birthday-gift-card thingy only with you.

Me: Gee, thanks.

Di: So, guess whats coming?

Me: I know, the third card. Next year. :-/

Di: Exactly. Its rather economic you think?

Me: Grrrr!!!

Economic, my ass. She doesn't know whats coming her way! You remember the MFPA cards? Guess who is getting them for the next, oh i don't know, 10 birthdays!

Ahha! Gotcha!

Ohkay. Calm down. Deep breaths.

Thanks Di. Awesome bag. I take it everywhere now. And I love you.

And don't kill me now. *cute smile*

Why I hate MFPA

You haven't heard of MFPA?

Mouth and Foot Painting Artists? Well, apparently, this is a group of handicapped people who paints with their mouth and foot. And thus, this association provides them a monthly salary and all and then they live happily ever after.

How is it any concern of mine, you ask? Good question darling.

This year they sent me a few of their paintings in card form. Its free. I can use it as greeting cards and sent it to whom ever i please. Awesome, right? Total win-win!

Wrong.

The catch is that, i have to send them money for it if i want to. IF I WANT TO. Like i am the salazar slytherin who doesn't take pity on the poor peoplewho don't have hand and foot. See, if i were more practical, i would've avoided this and put the whole thing behind me in a flash. But i bet they didn't had that in mind when they chose me to slaughter.

The thing is, unlike the MFPA guys, i don't earn much money. I don't even have regular income. I am, like any other practitioner, trying to establish a practice, and there are days when i earn a lot. And there are days when i don't. I like think that my life is like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's. You know that story.

So the thing is, when people send me abso-fucking-lutely beautiful cards, i pay for them. I have to. And i even though they kinda dragged me into the middle of this, i am going to.

What i want is, i want you all to go to their website.

MFPA

Join their newsletter program or just buy a few paintings. Its gorgeous and you are helping someone.

If you want to help more people, you can send ME money. *batting lashes*

Just drop a line and i am so going to get in touch. I take checks or credit cards or free food. :P

And these are some cards they sent me.

When Life Deals You a Lemon, You Need to Know What It Means

The kitchen tap was left open and the sink overflowed. Mom was looking at it despairingly.

Me, the Sunshine girl, took over the matter.

Me: Amma, dont worry. Lets take this chance and clean the floor, its already soaked. Haven't you heard the expression "If life deals you lemons make lemonade"??

Mom: No.

Me: Well, life gives you a lemon, you can make a sourface or a sweet lemonade. Its how you look at it.

Mom: Ah. So what if I don't like lemonade?

Me: Its a proverb!!

Mom: Ooh! OK.

After five minutes.

Mom: Diabetic people really don't like lemonade, you know?

Me: MAA!!!

Lady of the Ring

You remember me saying something about my LOTR movie marathon at new year's? Wait, that was in twitter. It went something like this.

And i did watch that. Awesome series, though a bit gay(which is a whole different discussion). I was absolutely charmed by the movies and hobbits.

Soon after that i faced an accessory malfunction. I changed my neck chain to a thinner one, compared to the almost-rap-dude one i was wearing before. I didn't had any locket to go with it, a simple and trendy one i was planning on.

Then, like in all adverse conditions, i thought of an idea.

Mom's ring. My chain.

Idea totally lifted of Mr. Frodo.

How do you like it?

The One with the New Year Resolutions

I know! Who writes about new year resolutions on Jan 31st, right? Only the smartest person on the blogosphere!!

See, every year i take up this humongous tasks at new years. Then go on and promptly dump it the next week. So its better to see how i fared in January and then talk about them right? Right.

Also this year i decided the resolutions would be fewer and smaller to tackle. So that i wont have to embarrass myself while writing it. And make it easy on you, my lovely reader.

So, it goes like this.

1. Regain my Twitterati : I was crazy over twitter an year and half ago. Then i stopped it, mainly due to work and other life interventions. I sometimes miss the world like crazy. Where you can went your thoughts and comment on celebs on their face and mainly get information as it happens. If its happening, its in twitter, right? So i reclaimed my twitter joy and set out to find old and new friends, and just be a loud mouthed hussy.

How it went: Yay! success so far! S0 all you cute ones, get to twitter now and follow moi, the @smalltown_sree.

2. 10 a month blogging: I will blog ten posts a month, like i used to in my early days. Now, don't look so crestfallen!! Clearly, as you can see, it ain't happening. I will have to work on it next month. There goes your face again!

3. I would be happy this year: I don't know why people take up this oath. You cant remain happy or sad all the time. Life is a good mix of the two. So far, its been mixed and i hope the happiness can shadow the sadness in the days to come.

That's it!! Only 3! Doable, i hope. And i would see how it went in December. You have to stick around and see for yourself. Promise me!

Jigsaw Of My Life

I was finding myself a bit 'J' recently. Yes, the big J. Jealous.

Lets see how it all began.

Ray, who is the husband of Di, who is my best friend, got transferred to Mumbai. Promotion+transfer. (He won't forgive me if i don't mention that.)

So, he is moving. She can't move since she is doing post grad in Kerala. [thus i am saving all my freak outs of my-best-friend-is-moving-to-std-code-so-she-wont-call-me-all-the-time for laterz]

So what she is gonna do? She is moving to a hostel.

That made me worried. And later jealous. Why?

See, last time she had a room mate, that was me. And i was her best friend.

And who knows what kind of girls are in hostels these days! they will be all so helpful and kind and god-knows-what! And they will steal my friend from right under my nose! Not right under, as i am not there, Still!!

I knew this was happening when she joined the post grad. But i gave the ultimatum that 1)she cant sit with same person for 2 consecutive periods. 2) she cant go to lunch with with the same person for 2 days, unless its in a group. 3)she will call me every two days and talk. Ray was on-board with this in the case if any one of these people being guys. All turned out great when all her classmates turned out boring 'girly' hippies who couldn't get along with anyone. Ha! I was laughing my silent but expressive 'buhahaha' while sounding oh-so-comforting when ever she was on call with me bitching about them.

Right when i was starting to relax, she moves to the college hostel! And got a room mate!

And she was busy for a while adjusting to her new schedule and all, so there was fewer calls, but there were some.

And i was getting a teeny meeny J on her new roomie.

But i should have had a bit of faith on my socially awkward, emotionally closed off best friend.

Yesterday, i got this sms at night.

My room mate failed and she is desp.

Always on phone and in bed.

you know i am bad at handling this.

what to do? :(

I vowed to be with her in sickness, shopping and roommate issues, so i replied;

You are good at not caring na?

Do that.

May be she needs space.

Remember when you needed space

when we were roomies and i always barged in?

And who are you

and what have you done with my beautiful but cruel best friend? :O

At this point i was starting to worry that this is going a bit too touchy-feely for my liking.

But I shouldn't have worried. She is, after all, one in a million.

She replied;

I am not caring!

my problem is that,

should i make attempts

to make her feel that i care?

Classic!Di.

All worries begone, (she is crazy! But my crazy best friend!) i decided to help out. I was, in fact, out PR manager.

*thinking*

Just ask her if she needs anything occasionally.

If she is telling you something, listen.

Or pretend to, while thinking how awesome your last roomie was.

And dont gloat, laugh too much

or talk loudly in that god-awful voice of yours.

You'll do fine.

Why am i worried? She is my jigsaw. I have my jagged ends and she

has hers. And thank god, they fit together perfectly.

Onions that make you Cry

We welcomed the decade with a Biriyani. By we, i mean my brother, as my knowledge about cooking can not fill a 2x2 sheet.

But i do help him in cleaning the onions, washing the rice etc.

Thus i was almost finished with cleaning the mountain(it seemed!) of onions when mom walked in.

Mom: You finished?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Leaving them there? Out?

Me: Yes, why?

Mom: Put that under a hood or something.

Me: Why, mommy, why?

Mom: You want thieves in the house? The load of Onion is worth a robbery.

Me: Ha ha. :|

Seriously, with the price of onion, i wondered how much price hiked the Biriyani in hotels are these days, or how much they will be scrimping on onions. When i thought more about it, native kerala cuisine does not use onions. Of course they do now, even in sambar, but its an adaption, a familiarity. With the invasion of north indian cooking and the fast food, onion has become one of the essentials in Malayali kitchen as well. We have no one to blame for being this dependent on the vegetable.

To make a Chicken Biriyani:

Chicken- 150 rs

Onion- 80 rs

Rice- 80 rs

Other knickknacks- 100 rs

The pleasure of eating the Chicken Biriyani at home when your parents criticize you on your weight gain through the whole meal : PRICELESS!

Lazy lazy lazy me!

Hey fella!

I am really surprised that you are reading this. I am so sorry that i had been away. But i hope your time was pleasant in the mean time.

So, December! Whats cooking in your kitchen? You remember i told you that this was my favorite month in an year? Oh, i said it was January, right? With my birthday and all? I was lying. Truth to be told, i frikkin hate January. Its not a disease amongst woman to hate their birth month na?

Well, jokes aside, January does make me miserable. But December hosts the birthday of two of my favorite girls in the world, so and its so damn festival! Ahm. I have written all these last year.

But what to do? Nothing new happening for me na? You tell me what i should write now.

So, i mentioned cooking, right? Yup Christmas plum cake. Last year my kitchen-savvy but not-so-baking-savvy brother dried my supposed-to-be-soft cake, so i am doing doing it all alone this time. The dry fruits and all are in the Rum jar and it smells so heavenly! I hope my dad doesn't sneak up on it!

You must write me what is going on on your life. Did the stars hung? Wine cellar opened? Posted the letter to Santa? I love Christmas!! Too obvious, right?

Well, adios love, enjoy it all. And keep an eye open for me!

Love

Your Smalltown Sree!

Liar Liar!

I admit i am a bad liar. I tend to stare, stumble and get stuck between speeches. Except when its about food. I can be pretty convincing when i lie about food.

Mom: Sree, who ate the jilebi in fridge?

Me: Gave it to rocky.

Mom: The spicy biscuit?

Me: Gave to rocky!

Mom: The bread?

Me: Rocky!

Mom: Molu, Rocky don't eat bread.

Me: Yeah, that's why he sniffed it and left it there. So i threw it away. Away!

Not bad, eh?

[Glossary: Molu- Pet name for daughter]

The Beauty of Puttu

So, my EverYouth scrub went missing. Yes, the same shit in the picture.

When i was younger, I used to buy that because the uber-soft-skinned girl in college used it. Then i grew old. And EverYouth walnut scrub shifted gears from fancy to necessary.

And that scrub went missing.

How dare it!

First i tried to adjust with just face wash. Then it really started getting gruesome. Brittle and cranky face. Old age. Someone hug me now!

Then i essentially plowed the whole house to find it.

To no avail.

I was getting desperate.

If necessity was the mother of invention, desperation was the father of it.

And here, my fellas, i am giving out my first beauty tip via blog. And its not pretty.

Anyone heard of Puttu? The staple breakfast of keralites/mallus. Good with sugar, banana, chicken, beef....it goes with anything.

Am going offtrack.

So one of the ever present commodity of a mallu home is puttu podi (powder for puttu). Its basically rice(small, white ones) moistened and then powdered coarsely and then fried and stored.

You know what that means? Coarse powder. Fried to be hard and dry.

My brain short circuited to this conclusion today morning and Ah... what a relief to have my smooth ex-foliated skin back!

And you know what the catch is! EverYouth costs Rs.55 (which ain't much and it lasts forever!) But you know what is better? Puttu podi is absolutely free!!

So enjaay the great puttu, and flaunt the soft skin!

(someone should campaign it.)

PS:I don't do beauty advices. Its just because there are some things i admit i am terrible at.
Having said that, i am not a HOG. And being a mallu means you are supposed to bath 3 times a day and proclaim all non-mallus dirty. I manage the second part. :P

Moment of truth

Every one knows moment of truth, or Sach ka saamna, and first and foremost, this is one show i DON'T watch. But i do see the trailers in Star world (or my Alma mater, as dad says) and i wonder why people who has things to hide go on live TV to blurt those out (i have doubts about the whole series.).

So, i was thinking, if i went, i would be going almost to the end, as there are only a few secrets in my life, which are, to be frank, embarrassments only.

Then i thought of this question:

Have to ever wanted to murder your parents in slow and excruciating detail, so that you will be out of their annoying presence in your life?

Busted.

Spam me in style. (its a request)

From: Karen L. De Luca
To: Yours truly
Dear Internet User!Microsoft Company have donated £1,500,000 Pounds to you and your family as a benefit for joining us in expanding the use of internet in your country., Contact: Mr.George MacVicar :Email:georgemacvicar@seo-z.cn

From:British Telecom

To: Who else?

Your email ID has been awarded £1,000,000,00 GBP in our British
Telecom.confirm
receipt by sending your
1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:

Seriously??

Jeez. Where are these people's imagination!

Do something creative. Entertain me. Make my heart go faster.

Try to fool me. At least pretend that you are trying.

Or you are just depressing me with your lack of imagination.

See this lady for example:

From:Princess Priscal Kiki

To:You guessed it.
My Dear,

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and my family, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly and you would never regreat.

I am a female student from University of Benin ,I am 26yrs old. I like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented,I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction.

Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. My father was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death.I was a princess to him and I am the only person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth.
My father left the sum of USD $4.5 Million (four million,five hundred thousand US Dollars)in a security company .This money was annually paid into my late fathers account by NNPC and SHELL companies operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction.

I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.

Now,i urgently need your humble assistance to help me move this money from the security company to your country, That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact because I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely.

I am ready to pay 40% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and another 10% interest of Annual After Income to you after handling the expenses should there be any in the course of moving the money to your country.If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund from the security company,you shall never regret in your life for assisting me.
Please, note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction as quick as possible.You can contact me in my private email: kikipriscal84@yahoo.com

Yours sincerely,

PRINCESS Priscal Kiki

Now there is a Princess, damsel, in distress. Your moment to man up and do the deed to save the lady. Thank god i dont have the basic qualification to man up, or who knows, this would be our happily ever after.

And this is how you entertain. I was sorry for her plight, heck as interested to help out, and MORE(wink wink).

I can really imagine princess priscal /rascal Kiki. And she's cute. Isn't she?

Mosbied.

I've been watching How I Met Your Mother for a long time now. Bro introduced me to the funny-but-relateable gang last year and i'd been curious. Nay, more than that. I love it.
Off all of them, Barney was always my guy. The womaniser. His magnanimous quotes and cute similis, I could always relate to him. The most depraved but yet the most child at heart. I am that in my gang. Though compared to the lion that is Barney am like this rat. A lab one at that.
Oh, am going off track here. So back to Mosby. I didnt liked the guy much. He is just a minor loser. Yeah. Concentrate on that word. LOSER.
Now imagine my dismay when I realised my life, mostly and sadly is like his.
This so going to be a sorrow train ride. Step out if you dont want the tea in my pity party.
I was watching the show in tv, season four, episode second last or third, I guess. Ted lost his job. He dont have any. Well, nice. I'll see him at this club of ours, for the unemployed super awesome freaks. He is trying self employment and working from home. Like me too. Yay! Without any success too. Yeah.
Then there is the romantic side of the guy. He waits for this amazing thing to sweep in and make him feel complete. Get in the damn line. And also he doesn't know what he is looking for, and is according to me, really lazy. Pretty lame that line is, eh?
Well, there is the fact that he lives in new-freakin-york and me in a place only some in tax department knows.
Anyway in major fronts, i've been been as lame and unmotivated as ted has been, in dealing with the clusterfuck that is also my life. But I know Ted's life will get better soon. He'll meet the Mother, have kids with her (meh) and live in this beautiful home. I only hope mine gets half as good. :-)