Murder on the Lovers' day

Since i am not and is not going to be "in love" with anyone for an unseeable future, i can, in leisure, plan murders on the most romantic and most hyped day on the planet.

5. Saint Valentine: The legend of this dude is that he was imprisoned by some king in Roma and then while in jail, he performed wedding ceremonies which the king opposed cuz this meant less single soldiers. Makes any sense? Not to me too. So what was he? Marriage broker? If the awesome king Claudius hadn't killed him once, i would have, considering the amount of crap we have to endure from new year the 14th feb. And the pressure. And the mayhem. The only good thing was that they showed rom-coms on tv and this year, damn it, they are showing twilight saga 1 and 2. I mean, Come on!

4. Stephanie Mayer: For ruining my perfect movie day. Seriously, vampire and werewolf. Tasty girl meat. Monster pregnancy. The only thing this thing lacks is aliens and flying monkeys. Would have loves to see ET saying "Bella go home".

3. People who send kisses and hugs via sms on the day: If you dont have anyone to send these to, shut your trap. Sending every single one in your contact list the sms is desperate and rather pathetic.

2. Archies: Archie man ( here i am imagining an old geezer, as no one that rich for that long is cute or funny) why do you have to go on and make so fab cards? And while you were at it, why didn't you made some sent-to-self cards? Another thing, what is with all the confetti and red colored hangings?? I feel colour blind.

1. The only person that seriously irritates me and gives me creeps: You loser. Stop stalking me. Stop reading my blog. Stop sending me FB friends requests and stop mailing me anything. I don't care and i have never cared. If you still haven't figured out things, i honestly pity you. Get a life. And do not try to contact me ever again.

Phew!

Khandaani Baatein

You know, i never write much about the family. So i thought I'll remedy that today.

More than that, mom went over to my uncle's to see her mom, so i am missing her so so much. All the times when we are together, we are cross with each other. She doesn't like my laid back attitude, my state of singledom and you name it, she hates it. Sometimes i wonder if she ever loved me. But then there are times like this, where i miss her and wish that she was here, if only to scold me. And since she is gone, house work falls on the shoulders of moi, which is terrible. :P

******

I hate our mixer grinder. I am almost sure that it has a thing for me. Bad thing.

One of the first tips of kitchen the mixer taught me was never to grind anything hot. It was a very painful lesson.

The thing is, when ever i go to grind coconut, which is often if you are a keralite, the second i turn the key, the coconut start flying all over the place. I personally have no problem with flying coconut grind, but i hate cleaning.

******

In our house, there is two decks of cards. We play often, mostly rummy and recently poker too. I made the chips with some cardboard paper and Aqqui(the bro) hates them. He says it doesn't have much panache. Hmmph.

Our dad is a master player. However inebriated he is, i am almost sure that he knows whats in all our hands.

Mom plays for fun. She never leaves a game, even though her hand is hopeless.

I am an exceptional shuffler, which amazes most people. Even though i am well versed at cards, they hate me. Or why would they conspire to form unimaginative pairings en-route to me?

Then there is Aqqui. The black sheep. For long my parents were afraid to teach him this, for the fear of corrupting him. Then when they became sure that he is as boring as a sack of potatoes, they taught him. His famous rummy comments range from "I have a hand full of royals, with no relation between them," to "J is for Jackie? i thought that was Joker."

But he has exceptional luck and he remains the only one to have a hand-rummy on the house, which he proceeded to present while downing the 13th card. Get it?

But we all owe him serious cash. Which he is never going to get.

******

The dog is gay, i think. One day, someone brought a bitch in heat to do the nasty and Rocky almost killed her. He started barking like he saw the ghost and after an attempted attack, the owner took her to some other guy in need.

I think we should try bringing home a man-dog. What you think?

******

Mom makes this gorgeous mango pickles.

Great huh?

Too bad, none of us like mango pickles.

My friends, my brother's friends, neighbors... everyone go gaga over it and we are like 'meh' and this pisses her off.

And the next year, she makes more pickles.

******

My uncle is craaazy.

Seriously.

There are cases of mental illness in dad's family, which mom points out every time they argue. But uncle is mom's brother, and a very prominent doctor too. And i think dad should point to him some time. The guy has some serious issues behaviorally.

He once said my brother needed a better dressing. My brother. Who wont wear gold if it was not branded. :-/

He once smacked me on the shoulder at a wedding. Hard.

I smacked him right back.

It was painful!

May be i shouldn't criticize him much. What say?

******

My Grandma is weird. And almost 90.

Mom recently teased her, saying 'may be you should marry'.

Grandma said, 'Yeah, i can talk to and listen to someone."

She cant hear if a bomb went off near her ear.

******

If you read it so far, i applaud you.

I know it has been a boring post.

But i miss mom and the whole managing home thing is driving me crazy.

I am never getting married. Ever.

Need to sleep now if i want to wake up and finish work at a decent hour.

FML!

What Lasts Forever

I have been watching Brothers and Sisters from ABC these days. A lot. Yeah, its a soap opera, and i should be thinking of spending my time more worthily.. Yada yada.. I know! Lets just say Luke Macfarlane is one awesome piece of ass. Literally.

But we are here today for a bit more serious talk. I was watching this show and i came across this beautiful piece of dialogue. Read it. You'll love it, i promise.

Situation: Kitty is trying to get pregnant but is failing at it and she is not considering adoption that her husband is suggesting. She is discussing this with her elder sister.

Kitty: Do you remember the time that you came to New York and I took you out for Indian food?
Sarah: How could I forget? Seven months pregnant(with Cooper). It was hotter than hell, the worst heartburn of my life.
Kitty: I remember touching your stomach when we went back to my apartment and Cooper was practically doing somersaults and I just thought how…weird. And how beautiful. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on. I don’t know how I’m supposed to stop wanting that.

Sarah: Kitty, you remember the somersaults. I remember the heartburn. You know what Cooper remembers? Nothing. There are no guarantees. In the end, the only thing that matters is that there's a child. And that lasts forever.

I am writing this in the context that i have many friends who are trying to be parents and are failing due to various reasons. Many of them are under treatments and monitoring and what-not for this. And none of them are considering adoption as an option.

Procreation is one of the biggest business in India. The hospitals overflowing with couples giving birth to fourth and fifth and more times on one side and on the other side is couples trying to get pregnant, in every way possible, with every latest technology in the field. Everyone who has been married for a few months are asked by every random people they meet about the state of their progeny. So i get the pressure behind trying to get pregnant and then when you fail, rushing to a hospital do every possible checkups and then doing everything possible to conceive. Spending a lot of money so that you can also feel the joy of loving a child and having loved in return.

But on the other hand, this is also the country with the most number of orphans in streets and government institutes. Its also one with high rates of infanticide. Every day we read stories of children being found in dumpsters and roadsides. We read it and pass it off with an exclamatory curse at the mother who did that. And we never think about that child again. Even though you have a power to give him or her a life. Even though you need him or her as much as they need you.

So, if you are a couple trying to be parents and is desperately knocking every door for that, consider adoption as an option. I can understand your need to procreate something that is your flesh and blood. But in the end, does it matter? In the end, there will be a child, whom you loved and brought up and who loves you as much right back. And that's what lasts forever.

Lady of the Ring

You remember me saying something about my LOTR movie marathon at new year's? Wait, that was in twitter. It went something like this.

And i did watch that. Awesome series, though a bit gay(which is a whole different discussion). I was absolutely charmed by the movies and hobbits.

Soon after that i faced an accessory malfunction. I changed my neck chain to a thinner one, compared to the almost-rap-dude one i was wearing before. I didn't had any locket to go with it, a simple and trendy one i was planning on.

Then, like in all adverse conditions, i thought of an idea.

Mom's ring. My chain.

Idea totally lifted of Mr. Frodo.

How do you like it?

The One with the New Year Resolutions

I know! Who writes about new year resolutions on Jan 31st, right? Only the smartest person on the blogosphere!!

See, every year i take up this humongous tasks at new years. Then go on and promptly dump it the next week. So its better to see how i fared in January and then talk about them right? Right.

Also this year i decided the resolutions would be fewer and smaller to tackle. So that i wont have to embarrass myself while writing it. And make it easy on you, my lovely reader.

So, it goes like this.

1. Regain my Twitterati : I was crazy over twitter an year and half ago. Then i stopped it, mainly due to work and other life interventions. I sometimes miss the world like crazy. Where you can went your thoughts and comment on celebs on their face and mainly get information as it happens. If its happening, its in twitter, right? So i reclaimed my twitter joy and set out to find old and new friends, and just be a loud mouthed hussy.

How it went: Yay! success so far! S0 all you cute ones, get to twitter now and follow moi, the @smalltown_sree.

2. 10 a month blogging: I will blog ten posts a month, like i used to in my early days. Now, don't look so crestfallen!! Clearly, as you can see, it ain't happening. I will have to work on it next month. There goes your face again!

3. I would be happy this year: I don't know why people take up this oath. You cant remain happy or sad all the time. Life is a good mix of the two. So far, its been mixed and i hope the happiness can shadow the sadness in the days to come.

That's it!! Only 3! Doable, i hope. And i would see how it went in December. You have to stick around and see for yourself. Promise me!

Jigsaw Of My Life

I was finding myself a bit 'J' recently. Yes, the big J. Jealous.

Lets see how it all began.

Ray, who is the husband of Di, who is my best friend, got transferred to Mumbai. Promotion+transfer. (He won't forgive me if i don't mention that.)

So, he is moving. She can't move since she is doing post grad in Kerala. [thus i am saving all my freak outs of my-best-friend-is-moving-to-std-code-so-she-wont-call-me-all-the-time for laterz]

So what she is gonna do? She is moving to a hostel.

That made me worried. And later jealous. Why?

See, last time she had a room mate, that was me. And i was her best friend.

And who knows what kind of girls are in hostels these days! they will be all so helpful and kind and god-knows-what! And they will steal my friend from right under my nose! Not right under, as i am not there, Still!!

I knew this was happening when she joined the post grad. But i gave the ultimatum that 1)she cant sit with same person for 2 consecutive periods. 2) she cant go to lunch with with the same person for 2 days, unless its in a group. 3)she will call me every two days and talk. Ray was on-board with this in the case if any one of these people being guys. All turned out great when all her classmates turned out boring 'girly' hippies who couldn't get along with anyone. Ha! I was laughing my silent but expressive 'buhahaha' while sounding oh-so-comforting when ever she was on call with me bitching about them.

Right when i was starting to relax, she moves to the college hostel! And got a room mate!

And she was busy for a while adjusting to her new schedule and all, so there was fewer calls, but there were some.

And i was getting a teeny meeny J on her new roomie.

But i should have had a bit of faith on my socially awkward, emotionally closed off best friend.

Yesterday, i got this sms at night.

My room mate failed and she is desp.

Always on phone and in bed.

you know i am bad at handling this.

what to do? :(

I vowed to be with her in sickness, shopping and roommate issues, so i replied;

You are good at not caring na?

Do that.

May be she needs space.

Remember when you needed space

when we were roomies and i always barged in?

And who are you

and what have you done with my beautiful but cruel best friend? :O

At this point i was starting to worry that this is going a bit too touchy-feely for my liking.

But I shouldn't have worried. She is, after all, one in a million.

She replied;

I am not caring!

my problem is that,

should i make attempts

to make her feel that i care?

Classic!Di.

All worries begone, (she is crazy! But my crazy best friend!) i decided to help out. I was, in fact, out PR manager.

*thinking*

Just ask her if she needs anything occasionally.

If she is telling you something, listen.

Or pretend to, while thinking how awesome your last roomie was.

And dont gloat, laugh too much

or talk loudly in that god-awful voice of yours.

You'll do fine.

Why am i worried? She is my jigsaw. I have my jagged ends and she

has hers. And thank god, they fit together perfectly.

The Cost of Being a Smartass

There are days when I am so darn proud and happy for the fact that I am street smart that I have to resist giving myself a hi5 in public. Today was not that day.
I was waiting for the bus to take me to the clinic in the morning. I was late owing to being tormented by (bitching about) Justin Beiber after seeing him back to back first thing in tv. Dont ask why I watch tv if I have to leave home early. And dont even start suggesting driving. You know why!

So I was late and rather pissed and when the bus finally arrived, I rushed and was first in the disorganised queue-huddle at the door. Yes, I always manage to be at the front, I just hate standing. People were getting off and there was this girl(13ish) who was last, and a rather mannish lady(b****) started pushing in and I had to side step so as to get this girl out alive. This took considerable time and my good deed for the day was done, so I rushed(pushed) in to salvage something for my posterior and there was this 50ish aunty sitting alone in a two seater and I went to sit down.

Aunty- this seat is taken!
Me- huh. *sitting down near hear rather forcefully* it is taken now, I guess.
Aunty- *to the daughter who was entering then* sit on the side seats!
In my defence, It was a 45 mins journey and I was going to work. And the whole time aunty passed angry glares at me and pushed me even when the bus was not passing a curve. Mean aunty!
So when I reached my destination, I got off, and sat down under the fan in clinic and sighed in relief. Nightmare over!
Except, I had no idea.

After about 10mins, receptionist came in.
R-lady: You got a patient.
Me: great, send 'em in.

Enter aunty and the girl. Yes, same aunty and same girl. My life is over.

Aunty: *half laughing and half glaring* YOU!
Me: *half scared and half guilty* you? :-S

Long story short, aunty and girl(who turned out to be her granddaughter), was coming to see me, as the girl was uh.. um.. sick.
I know. I am despicable.
In self-defence, she did not look sick. :|
Thankfully aunty did not beat me with her handbag, and after some chats, became quite friendly.
When you think something is finally over, shit will hit the fan on full speed. Again.
After asking me where my home was, she asked me if I knew a teacher who lived there.
Me: *OMG-here-it-comes face* yeah, thats my Mother.
Aunty: we know her! Very well too. She taught her*pointing at the girl*.
They very fondly took mom's number from me and went after the consultation.

Dont say anything. You cant call me something that I haven't called myself.

The Prodigal Friend

Sometimes in life you make the stupidest decisions, and implement them without thinking about it.

You just feel hurt and you want to hurt someone so bad.

In the end its not only them that suffers, but you do too.

A few months ago, in a fit of jealous rage, you ostracize your best friend.

Not Di, the other best friend.

You just wanted him to feel what its like being avoided.

You should have given him some space or just talked to him about it.

Then again, you are not known for making the perfect decisions.

Then comes the slow burning reminders.

If you shared your life, your whole life with someone over a few years, its natural that everyday brings something that reminds you of them.

The Christmas with out a drunken mate.

An IPL auction.

Advices you terribly seek from no one but him.

Gossips you itch to share.

A movie he was urging you to see. (Inception)

Songs, habits, smoking.

You want to take back the deed.

But sometimes you want something so bad, doesn't mean its possible.

Your hands itch to make a step.

But you don't.

Like they say, pride comes before pain.

But you know, when it grows too much, you have to bite the bullet and face the consequences.

Good or bad or incredibly ugly.

Finally, you cant take it anymore.

Whats the worse?

He wont talk to you. How is that worse from the current situation?

An sms.

No reply.

Okay, that's settled then.

You can sigh and move on.

Damn.

48 hours.

Sorry Miss. Smalltown girl, replying late.

Oh god.

You cant stop grinning.

Yahoo Messenger.

Old times.

Gossips.

I was ready to go on bended knees.

Thank god he is no meanie.

I would really look weird on my knees before the computer.

Nothing is changed.

Or everything is, for the better.

Na, nothing is changed, for better or worse.

Thank God.

And after 10 days, on 11-1-11, you feel like its a New Year

PS: Ooh, and he is fat now! That's like a dedicated new year gift.

Rudra, don't dump me over this now :-/

Onions that make you Cry

We welcomed the decade with a Biriyani. By we, i mean my brother, as my knowledge about cooking can not fill a 2x2 sheet.

But i do help him in cleaning the onions, washing the rice etc.

Thus i was almost finished with cleaning the mountain(it seemed!) of onions when mom walked in.

Mom: You finished?

Me: Yes.

Mom: Leaving them there? Out?

Me: Yes, why?

Mom: Put that under a hood or something.

Me: Why, mommy, why?

Mom: You want thieves in the house? The load of Onion is worth a robbery.

Me: Ha ha. :|

Seriously, with the price of onion, i wondered how much price hiked the Biriyani in hotels are these days, or how much they will be scrimping on onions. When i thought more about it, native kerala cuisine does not use onions. Of course they do now, even in sambar, but its an adaption, a familiarity. With the invasion of north indian cooking and the fast food, onion has become one of the essentials in Malayali kitchen as well. We have no one to blame for being this dependent on the vegetable.

To make a Chicken Biriyani:

Chicken- 150 rs

Onion- 80 rs

Rice- 80 rs

Other knickknacks- 100 rs

The pleasure of eating the Chicken Biriyani at home when your parents criticize you on your weight gain through the whole meal : PRICELESS!

Hello! Hi! Hola! Greetings!

Happy new Decade folks!

Who would have thought we'll be here, now, ten years ago?

Bet you didn't.

Did any of you thought you'd be here, at this place and position 10 years ago?

If you had, congrats, but i really wouldn't wanna be you.

So where was i? 10 years ago?

In a school, right after the christmas vacation.

Hating it. With the sword of 12th exam hanging upon my head.

Hopelessly in crush with guy in my class, who is married now. Not to me, thank god.

I honestly don't know what i was thinking.

When looking back, its hard to admit that we were so stupid, right?

(Remember how everyone told us how 10th exam was the most important in our life? We believed and died trying to score the best. Then when we got to 12th, they said it again. We fools believed it. After that.. entrances.. college exams.. Fool

s again.)

Well, in a broad spectrum i think, this will always be the most important decade of my life. I finished school, chose my course and college, finished it, then i entered the professional life. What can be more important?

So what you remember from last decade?

A lot of smiles and laughter.

A few tears.

Tours i loved.

Exam days i hated then and have fond memories of now.

Countless films and tv and music.

Few good people i will never forget.

A lot of ones i did and another few i wish i could.

A best friend.

One love to rule them all and one love to end them. (I am on an LoTR Movie Marathon)

Loads of Memories.

Have i changed a lot?

I think i have.

I am still socially challenged, lazy, friendly and a little crazy( i swear).

But i am not naive, romantic (in heart), simple or upbeat. Hope its all for the best.

Don't have any idea why i scribbled all these. But hey, moi blog. (Of which i am totally proud!)

So, WISH YOU ALL A FRIKKIN AMAZING YEAR AND DECADE AHEAD!!

Wishing you pretties Everything you need, and not all that you want, cuz you may try to take over the world. :P