Posted Letters Or The Lack Of It (Things Which Can Make You Hate Technology, Just A Little)

Dear reader, what happened to letters?? I mean 'the letter' letter. Anyone remember those? The one you write sitting in a comfy chair or window sill with a mug of coffee, remembering the person you are going to post it to. The one for which you select the fountain pen which makes your handwriting extra beautiful and the special Archies letter pad with touching lines at the bottom and small hearts in the background. The sort of letters which took days to complete. Those on which you wrote urgent in the covers even when it is silly, and those you put in the post box with prayer that it wont be lost, because it could never be reproduced, as it unique and is not a forward click away. What happened to those letters?
Today, when I was digging into the mess I call my shelf, I came across this old letter pad, one which I selected years back so carefully and excitedly taking hours deciding between two which I liked. It only has 3 or 4 pages now, the rest used up in my compulsive urge to write letters years back. Many of its pages were penned to my legendary pen-pal (I can write a book about him. I plan to write about him. But I so don’t know where to start.).some of them went to my parents and one even went to the Reynolds company, telling them that we all love their pens and their quality is failing ,so please do something (yeah, I was crazy, so were my pals at school.)
Why no one writes letters any more?(if someone is out there, who does , sorry buddy, this excludes you and cheers, keep it up!) Now every one is into texts, emails and IMs. Post is all about business, periodicals and greeting card now. Nothing personal attached. But weren’t letters 'the thing'? The ones you read when you sat alone in rainy afternoons, the ones you accidentally found in a book and look through quickly and smiled, or the stalk of them you keep hidden in a box, received from a very cherished lover. The ones which evoked silly smiles and random laughs and tears of long gone love and unkempt promises. The ones which, when you inspect the handwriting, you see the anger jabs, the string of dots of love and hand drawn smilies. Then there is a whole world of NBs,PSs, endearments, small pieces of tissue papers(which we used to put in inlands as they are super-light and so, undetectable.),the 'read this in a mirror' notes, the crazy nicknames in the from space in cover, the open with a smile note which actually makes you smile…..
Now when I see the things listed, I am getting all sad. I mean, I used to have all these things and I never realized how much I missed it. The email can never bring the nostalgia a letter brings. The faint scent, fading words, the handwriting which makes us feel near to the person with whom it belonged to. The extend of which I once saw in a letter, the two or three words written by a 2 year old boy to his mother months before he died. It's been 25 years since and his mother still keeps the letter. It’s all faded and threatening to tear up, but every time she comes across it, she cries. She has hundreds of long letters from her two other children and nothing values up to this one. How do I know this? The mother is my mom too and the boy was my elder brother.

Why I am most likely to die young!

1. I am overweight. Like that’s not enough, overweight people also have more weightege in many diseases, one of which is likely to kill me. I pray it is quick!
   
2. Absence of a romantic liaison is said 2 be a cause for depression and early death. So am in for a coffin again. (but everyone who is a part of couple I know suffer from moderate to severe stress. So I don't envy them. This romance is total crap. You are in it? There is a world of stress. You are not?? Again stress. isn't there a justice in the world?)
3. My one parent is diabetic. So its 80% chance for me. My second parent too is diabetic. So its 90% chance. And obesity gives me another 90%. And my life style, is not at all supporting the cause. So altogether I have around 260 percent chance. Am soo dead!
4. I like to get into arguments a lot. And once I start, I usually do almost everything to win it, which include shouting, storming off, throwing things etc.. So someone who happens to have a gun is most likely to shoot me.
5. I have a drivers license but I am told I drive like I have a death wish. Not many know its because am terrified of it. So I usually don’t drive at all. So if I drive sometime, in the time of a dire need, am likely to kill myself. If also I didn’t kill myself, my dad will be killing me if I ever caused a scratch on his car. (rolling eyes)
6. The small towns lack anything interesting. Like clubs or discos or multiplexes or malls…. There is a huge list. So if I cave in here for some more time, boredom is likely to pounce on me when I am unaware and throttle me.
7. My dog do not like the dog biscuits. He likes tiger biscuits by Britania. Unlucky for him, I too like the same biscuits.?(many people like that biscuits!!!its cool with milk.) Sometimes, from the way he looks at me, I can tell you, he is thinking of poisoning me.
8. And I am making this very important list when I am supposed to be studying for a test tomorrow. So my mom, if she found out, is likely to slay me on my lap. Oh! I hope my lap wouldn’t get damaged!!!

Yeah.. There is a similarity in idea with meg cabot's all American girl. Its totally intentional.

Appeal of Capt. Kalia's father to all Indian Citizens due to the cruelty of Pakistan Army. Petition

Appeal of Capt. Kalia's father to all Indian Citizens due to the cruelty of Pakistan Army. Petition

this is the least i could do on our INDEPENDENCE DAY besides getting pissed off in the morning.. And HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY to all. dont take it as a holiday. Do something that make you an Indian. As my friend Jayram in NAVY said in orkut- Sarfaroshi ki thamanna ab humare dil mein hein..

How a 1min call can work you up. Totally.

Today really early morning while I was sleeping, (does it have a filmy ring?) I got a series of missed calls from an anonymous number. (Well, it wasn’t early morning, just 7am. But in my life, 7am is too early. I am not a morning person. Now when I think about it, I am not a noon person either, especially, if I slept late. I am more of a night person, I think. Pathetic, seeing the fact that small towns don’t have late night clubs or discotheques.)

Now that I have cleared the part of me being a lie in sorta person, let me continue the story. I got this continuous string of missed calls in my cell which totally woke me up from my mindless dream-filled sleep. I thought it may be one of my friends. (But none of them usually missed-calls me when they want me to call back. And am not a lets-make-missed-call-for-fun sorta person either. All my friends knew am partially broke and but I thought may be, may be some one is in dire need of help!) so I waited for sometime, as am a blabbering idiot just out of sleep, and called back. I was welcomed by a shrieking, high pitched girl going “helloooooo”,”how are you, where are you” and a list of things my sleepy-head didn’t register. So I calmly asked who she is. Then came the next string of “didn’t you recognise me??” (Enne manasilaayilye in Malayalam.) By this time i was fully awake and I grounded out “no”. So then she asked “are you not Jeena?” I said no again. So she said, ”oh, wrong number” and then she cut the line.

Cut the line. I mean, I woke at an unnatural hour(am not exaggerating, its unnatural for me!), called this girl back thinking one of my friends is in trouble, with the little money I had in my prepaid, and I get a cut direct?? You bet I was seriously pissed off. I got so angry, I was blind and I called back. And I began by “who do you think you are? You really check out the number you choose to disturb at this..cut. I mean CUT THE LINE?? Now I started seeing red. To curb my anger I send her an sms telling her that it’s a bad manners to cut the call when she is the guilty party who caused all the hulchul.

Dear reader, do you think I was rude? May be, but I don’t like when I am forced to wake up early by people I know and causes that are absurd. But are there manners while using a phone? The new gen doesn’t seem to get it. So I will enumerate some of them.just some.

-> 1. ->Call strangers between 9am-9pm. This also includes the numbers you think you know and those friends you call after a long interval.

2. 2. ->Make sure you got whom you wanted. Introduce yourself and get one intro back.

3. 3. ->Do not begin by “tell me who I am” and “did you recognise me”. (I learned this the hard way, thanks to jay)

4. 4. ->if you have wronged someone, listen to what they have to say. Apologize thoroughly. Say your part, and if they became a pest, call in help. Eg, brother or in worse case scenario, police.

5. And never follow these when you are calling friends. But strangers are another case all together.

Later, she called me after the sms, and my anger was all cooled off, so its ok, we are ok, have a great time and bye.

You too reader, have a great time and ciao.

Am not a poetry kinda person, more of a prose one. Yet there are times when i am totally bowled over by poetry. But prose i like more. Because hidden meanings and undertones are so difficult to get, and after a while, its just tiresome.
This one i came across 1 year back and still marvels at it. So i think i would like to share it with you.

Sonnets from Portuguese. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

how shall i love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
my soul can reach,when freezing out of sight
for the ends of being and ideal grace

I love thee to the level of every day's
most quiet need; by sun and candle light
I love thee freely, as men strive for bright
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old grieves and my childhood's faith
I love thee with a love i seem to lose
with my lost saints-i love with the breath
smiles, tears, of all my life!--and if God choose
I shall but love thee better after death.
-fin-

how is it??
i dedicate it to all my friends who have known what is it to love truly. So i think that covers a lot of people.

3 friends and their pg entrance results.

To begin, i would have to confess i sucked at my tests. I was awful. Totally. I admit defeat. Throw some rotten tomatoes at me..

There was this gr8 friend of mine who made into 1st 10s. I was overjoyed. I love this girl and she is a really nice person. Moreover we were bosom buddies in our 1st year of college and till last we maintained a clean contact and a more than professional friendship. After knowing the results, and living through my nightmare of a result, i called this girl who,then was out of state. I didn't got her and i called another friend who was with her, and asked him to convey my congrats. Later she came back, and its been almost a month and no contacts. Yet she calls many of my friends including my best friend. Dear ones, what should i read into this?? well, i still proclaim she is one of the nicest people i know.

Another friend of mine also made into top 20. Now this was a girl whom i knew from when we both were 11. We were together in school and later in college. In both places, we moved in different circles. We were never thick friends, just casual hi-nice dress-bye ones. But she called me to say even though i didn't saw the point in calling her. (Am not a bad person, people, after knowing the shite that i call my results, there was only little i could do.) So i was soooo happy when she called me, that also on the same day. Ah..do i love her!!

And there is this another one, (real close friend of mine in early years in college, later we both bitched each other for some time and now platonic friends,) who just made it,even though she worked her arse off for this. After some 1 or 2 weeks after the results when her entry was almost confirmed, called me. after the "congrats, you made it" and "when are you joining" blah blah blah... she whined about how she should have gotten a better rank..and that too, to me, who was smashed and powdered in the same. Only she can do that. But i know her, she was always whiny to people whom she liked, so am counting myself in the list and not complaining. I like her too. She is a bit childish, but she is a good friend.
Thats 3 friends. People will always change, and you just have to accept them however way they are. And love them. All these people were an important part of my past and they would remain so.

The week that wasn’t.

On 28 th july, I, all ready n packed puff, left for the esteemed _______ hospital,in a big township, to assume the charge of RMO(resident medical officer). A week went in training, a fully packed skedjuel from 8am to 9pm even, during which we where prepared to be an agile worker for that hospital..all mission vision,strategies and what not else?? At the end of the week, I was told that this post is a very imp one, that of DMO(duty med officer), and it requires my entire time and effort, and its long term, so I wont be able to go for higher studies, if i get a chance. Am I hearing a "what the fuck!" from you? Well, that’s what I wanted to say! They want me to give one or two years of my life to them and they didn’t even warned me prior. I should sue them! And not to mention the job I resigned here!! The big town people are sitting just to screw you, I swear, they don’t give aa shite about you and I think I wud be very happy to be born n died and everything in between, done in a small-town.
the only thing they did was, let me loose a hefty sum on travels and shifting, loosing a job i already had, and making me restless. and so, just to spite them atleast, i am going to try my arse off for higher studies.
dear reader, wish my luck.

Friends Flings and Fucked up relationships

I don’t know what is it about me that represents a cry pillow/punch bag. This is the second time a guy friend of mine comes to me brawling about the loss of his girl friend. Both of these guys are my online friends. (What my offline friends are thinking of me? Shallow??) The first one was Ben, who is 2 years younger than me and is totally adorable. I still remember how he whined that he would never be happy again and would never get over this girl when I was trying to convince him that she is totally not worth it. And recently, even before it has been 6 months, he called me and nagged to the core with the tale of this amazing new girl he is totally in love with.(I know. Boys!!)

Yesterday, another social networking friend of mine, Jay, called me. I wasn’t expecting his call as he is out of state and jobless currently [guys.. He is not a regular loser, but a post-graduate one. actually he is cool. Its all due to the current downfall of IT industry and he is waiting for it to pick up pace]. Jay is a very jovial and funny person and whenever he calls me,we both laugh like mad from "hello" to "bye then”. Yesterday, after the introductory hello laughs, he suddenly told me that his girl friend's marriage is now fixed. (You should know that from the part of world I come from, parents arranging marriages is quite common. If you ask me, it totally sucks!) He said that they had a slightly serious monogamous fling only, and he is totally alright with the situation. Then he proceeded to tell me how cool this girl is, how cute is her smile and how used to call him to her from across the room and used to tell him "lets go n rent a room" when he is near,(thats what i call sexy!) and how it got him on fire. (Yeah right. You are totally over her. I believe you.)
Being the good friend that I am, I suggested serious bitching many a times.(i think it totally makes up for the aversion therapy.)But no, our romantic hero is not into getting-over stuff. he is cool facing it. Bullshite and foolish, i say. If u r reading this jay, take me seriously, am good at sorting others lives! Its min that i need help with.
Me thinks, his problem is that he is totally upset with his financial and career state and is over reading into this.
So I told him to move on with his life. After some more reminiscence and our usual laughs, we said "bye then" after 2 hrs.
I think I will hear about "this amazing girl whom I totally love" after 6 months. And knowing Jay, even before that.

Midnight rains

Midnight rains always make me sad. And, as you guessed, I am a regular late sleeper to hear it.But hearing the serene pitter-patter of rain is so romantic. If only u listen once, u will understand its difference from the day rain. Of course, day rain (in my part of world, rain is very often, seasonal, called monsoon, famously) is quite a sight and is still romantic, but it can never ever compare to the night rain.

The day rain makes you want to touch it, feel the coolness, and in a totally mad and abandoned moment, makes you want to step into rain, feeling the coolness and the excitement seep into your body and clothes, with a naughty smile.

And here is it differs from night rain. At night, wen it rains, u totally feel a whole lot, more than what you get from standing in rain, by just listening. The moment is so earthly and divine, u feel tears in eyes. It so reminds u of loneliness, (of course if you are single only), and sadness, passion, love and loss. It is a wonder all these emotions can be perceived while only listening and feeling slight coolness with closed eyes.

So, dear reader, if ever you happen to wake up to a midnight rain, just stop a moment to listen to it, open yourself to the feelings it brings, it’s a magical experience. Lose yourself in it. You will feel closer to heaven. Closer to yourself.

onto serious blogging..

I have been entertaining this idea of a serious blog for quite sometime. I even started an anonymous blog.. coz there are people whom i do not want to hurt by writing about them.Or about me. And, subconsciously, i entertained this idea of writting scandalous things as an anonymous writer. But i thinks its all bullshite and if i want to write about something, why should i do it in anyother id? i am my own person.

its my life.. its my blog..

so, friends.. family.. pardon me!!for being myself..