Can you cheat on a friend? If not, what is this guilt i am feeling that i shouldn't at any case feel?
So, i went out today. It was a beautiful Sunday, clear sky and and rather cold weather. I had made plans with Barbara (you remember Barbara, right? The dog lady), accompanying her on her shopping trip, which was incidentally to Bhima Gold and Precious stones. [I admit it. I love gold. I love the shine, the intrinsic artwork and the beauty of it. I love how it makes one pretty. And i love how confident the yellow metal makes you. Fuck it, i love how it is actually a status symbol some despises, but secretly craves. There, one of my vices.]
So, we went to Bhima, then to another handicraft store, which had good but seriously overpriced products. Lets face it. Barbara is a foreigner. But she is from Brazil, which is not much richer than India. And she came to study here, not shop and enjoy the sights. And Indians are waiting with sharpened scalpels to cut off from any non-Indian that actually wants to shop here. It made me little angry and a lot ashamed. And then i had a fight with the shop guy. [That is another vice. I hate when people push on low quality things and demand four times the original price and act like i am too stupid to understand the goodness of it. Fuck you. And i hate more when someone try to cheat my friends.] Barbara had to interfere. Hmmph. I am still pissed.
Then we went to Hot Chocolate. The hot chocolate was delicious, but it was like dropping 1kg wet cement in my stomach. That heavy. And then she bought me a chocolate brownie. [This is the third vice. I can never, to save my life, say NO to chocolate. Even if i am full of stuff, i will still have space for a little more chocolate.]
The thing was, we both enjoyed the trip immensely. It was nice, walking around, commenting on guys and assorted things you see on the street (seriously our taste in men makes us opposites. I like foreign boys and we came across two, who, in my opinion were too pretty and most probably gay and i literally blushed, whereas she pointed a very ordinary next-door-joe at the coffee shop and said he was so hot and i was like, what is wrong with your eyes, woman?], and bad mouthing this mutual friend, and this was the most fun i had in a long long long time out with anyone. The last time i had this much fun was may be when i went out with Di on one of our Calicut movie trips.
So after it was all over, i kinda felt sad that i enjoyed these thing which I and Di shared, with someone else. Di goes out a lot now, with her hubby, in TVM and in Mumbai, but its not the same because he is not her best friend, i am and it is not the same. I missed the old carefree me who would wander around with her. Yeah. This makes no sense. I know.
Di is Di no one is ever going to replace her in my life. Though i honestly wish that Barbara would stay here, (bring her cat, whose name is Tofu and her boyfriend, who is this tattooed up Biker looking nice guy), and i am absolutely sure that if they ever meet, Di and Barbara would love each other at first chat, as their common things begin at their imperfect but cute English.
Ah, may be in a parallel universe.
