Rehab

I am the kind of person who, if i were living in a country any less morally uptight that India, would have done some really shitty things and ended up in a rehab. And not the cool kind the Hollywood things go to. And since i live in the morally uptight India, i am not a alcohol/drug/anything addict. Yet i manage to go to a rehab.

Why?

Food.

To cut the story short, i am obese and before i make some really shameful Guinness record like 'the youngest person to die of heart attack'(Oh wait, some stupid 10 year old kid already got that. F***) I checked myself(more like my family and extended family forced me to) into a facility that will monitor my diet and hopefully make me a better eater. Damn, a better NON-eater.

Basically its just eating some fruits from time to time and a lot of water. And i think i am doing pretty well. Even though i occasionally have dreams of masala chicken and chocolate cookies.

So all you pretty people, watch what you eat and stay healthy while i curb my insane love for edible things.

Vishu Kaineettam!

Ah, Vishu.

You know all about it if you were reading this for an year or so. But if not, its a Farming related mallu festival which begins with a delightful view in morning to begin the season ominously, followed by getting(or giving) some pocket money to youngsters, and then a fab lunch and some tv time which can be replaced by an afternoon nap.

As usual I make the Kani, which looked awesome. (Go me!)

(Click on it to view in a bigger size.)

Then there was the Kaineettam, aka pocket money. Mom and dad gave me and i gave bro. So it was a marginal profit for me where as brother totally aced it. :(

Then came the sadya or the awesome feast. Mom made the dishes, i made the Kheer, which turned out better than usual. Since usual is good, better means, oh yeah!. ;) Lunch spent withOUT talking politics, thank you lord.

Then came the afternoon nap. You know how the dog has been sort of not-so chummy with me? I went and laid a mat in a side room and lied down with a book to read. After a while Rocky came, after his feast, and he sort of lied down next to my feet for the cool floor and the cool temperature inside. I didn't see this and when i turned, my leg hit him and he got up and went outside. Did i mentioned that he hates crackers? Well, neighbors burst something and he came back and after a while i too slept. With Rocky at my foot.

However nice it was, now my brother have an embarrassing picture of me and the dog, sleeping on the same side. :-/ Which i will never post anywhere. :|

Then came evening and the IPL. Yes, i watch IPL, but mainly the Knight Riders matches and from this season, the Kochi Tuskers matches. And last day there were one each. The first one, Knight Riders won comfortably. Then came the tuskers match. They haven't won anything till now and the opponents were Mumbai Indians, the mighty. They posed a mighty score, with a Sachin century, and what we did?? We won!! YAYYYY!!!! Totally my day. \m/

Feels like this year will be massive. Lets wait and see, shall we?

Have an awesome year ahead, you! Yes, you. Don't you know how amazing you make me feel by reading this blog? :)

Rickety Rocky

As you know, Rocky is my very handsome, rather temperamental, much loved German shepherd dog who is 4 years now. As our longest lasting dog, he is totally ingrained to our life. We don't leave him alone, even cancelling trips and visits.

The dog obviously love my mom. She is the one who gets him the food, so no surprises there.

He loves my brother like something crazy. He only sees him when he comes from hostel. And they have some sorority-brother thing going on. The dog is all over him when he is home. Rocky, who lives in the dog-house and rarely enter the house when he is out, is sneaking in when ever aQQui is home. Yeah, the dog loves him pretty fierce.

The dog almost hates dad. Well, dad is not the most dog-friendly person in the world. He don't do caress and massages. His general show of affections will leave you painful.

Then there is ME. Usually i come after Mom and Bro and waaaay above Dad. I guess i am not that fascinating. I get him snacks and chocolates when i go out. I sneak him biscuits and everything, so he likes me fine.

Or used to. Now i think he hates me.

It all started with the Summer. Its hot and sweaty and he scratches. And thus injures himself. Then this slowly grow and before it gets really out of control, someone has to find it and apply some medicine. The medicine is generally a flea repellent plus antiseptic. As you guessed, it burns when you apply it.

And in case of Rock, i do it. Me being in health care makes everyone think that i am the personal doc of the Dog.

Whenever dog gets any health issues its me who end up feeding him pills the size of USBs and apply whatever that needs applying. Do you still wonder why he hated me now?To the dog, i am synonymous with pain, burning, awfully shoveled tabs into his mouth, cheating him by covering the same tabs in stuff like jam....

This time the wound is fierce and he hates me as much. To a point he avoids me, runs in the opposite direction and generally not approaching me for petting. And he barks. At me. And looks really angry.

Well, i thought it was for the betterment of the dog and i would take one for the team. I know somewhere inside his brain he still got feelings for me. (GSDs are the 3rd most intelligent dog in the world.) But however much i am fine, it hurts so bad when he barks at me and avoids me. I never thought my dog's feelings would matter much, but it does.

You know what will hurt more? One of these days he is going to plan a surprise attack on me with improved guerrilla tricks and modern technology. And i would talk about it of i survive the ordeal.

Till then, Adios!

Keep yourself in the good grades of your dog.

He loves you, but he can overpower you in a flash.

Politricks

The summer is damn hot. But you know what is hotter? Politics. The elections are upon us, and as the child of two local political parents, life is hell. Some snippets off it:

*****

Mom: Molu, make some lemonade.

Me:Yes ma. *scrawling*

Mom: Molu, some tea. 2 suger-less.

Me:*scrawling* Yes amma.

Mom: Can we get some lunch order in short notice?

Me:*scrawling* I was working at a Tea-shop, i will be making as much tea and lemonades, and they will be paying me to do so.

Mom: *scrawling*

*****

Mom is really into baseless slander, as they do in politics.

Mom: The opposition candidate is a Prof at a college. He can get a decent income by just working. He is doing politics only because he get more from it.

Me: Ma, you are a retired govt employee. With handsome pension. If you work in politics, does it mean that you get some cash from there?

Mom: *ANGRY* You don't know anything! For all i know, you will go and vote for him.

Me: *hiding*

*****

Mom: *after a day of running around and getting home at dusk* Where is the soap in the bathroom?

Me:In the bathroom outside. Dad took it.

Mom: Get it for me na?

Me: Now? Am watching cricket!

Mom: Am so tired, i cant walk that much.

Me: *getting up* its only 10 steps!

Mom: *after bath* *on call* Yes Jaya, we need to arrange that room by tonight.

Mom:Un huh. I know. I am coming too. Lets get some help and arrange all the chairs.

Me: :O You cant go to bathroom outside! and you are going to arrange chairs? *scrawling*

*****

Dad: I joined politics for your Mom.

Mom: ...'s destruction.

Dad:I am leaving the party.

Mom: I dont think i will be that lucky.

Dad: I dont think i am coming to the meeting tonight.

Mom: That is because i am getting a seat in stage and you are sitting in audience.

Dad:I am not jealous!

Me and Bro: Yes, you are!

*****

Bro: Ma, rocky likes your candidate.

Mom: Gr8! How so?

Bro: Your election symbol is the palm na? He did pasted his own on that poster of the candidate.

Mom: :-/

*****

It had been crazy mayhem. With mom and dad being too busy and house getting cluttered with Request sheets and posters and a lot of men i wish i would never have to see again.

But in their old age(mom and dad are 60) i think its the feeling of being wanted and the thrill of doing something is what keeps them so energetic and happy. And as long as they are happy, i am happy too.

Though i am still not decided on whom to vote.

Don't tell mom!